Never Fade Away: I Want To Stay At Your House (ch. 51) (Patreon)

“Woohoo-wheee, now I know Nora ain't the only feelin’ festive, so I'll try to keep this quick.

Operation Duck Hunt went well, and I hope we all bagged a couple birds before the end, but no one can deny who got the biggest one. L may as well stand for Looney Tunes cuz he rode a fuckin’ rocket right into the bird's nest and blew it to smithereens, before pulling out a pistol the size of a building and shootin’ down the ship they sent down after!

Jammers are down now and I'm still parsin’, but since so many out-of-towners are curious, it looks like DC is weathering the invasion well, as is Japan. Russia on the other hand must have done something to piss the birds off, cuz they're gettin’ hit extra hard.

But none of them are doing as well as Night City. The birds are steering clear of us, and with L here, who can blame ‘em?

Still, not all the geese in Night City have been cooked. We got squads of survivors here and there, but they ain't shit now that they can't call in a rod from God whenever they come across something that doesn't roll over and die.

Now, in honor of the man, the myth, the motherfuckin’ Living Legend and his big fuckin’ gun, here's Big Iron by Marty Robbins.”

~

It was only obvious in hindsight, but Night City had been holding its breath since the invasion began. And, with the destruction of the Turians forward operating base, and of the ship overhead, the tension snapped like a string. There was plenty of damage to be found, but people took the moment to feel alive even as they picked up the pieces to their lives. The power was on -- Yorinobu had made use of the GN Drives that I gave him, but the water filtration was still busted. Food would be an issue sooner than later… but all of those concerns seemed so distant to everyone down below.

I looked down at them from a balcony, my arms crossed over my chest as I saw a gaggle of kids running through the busted, war torn streets, all of them wearing a yellow EMT jacket with an ER written on the back. Copies of David's jacket. Of my jacket. And they weren't the only ones wearing them. They dodged between people on the road, laughing all the while, as they pretended to shoot at each other with what I'm hoping were empty guns.

It was a strange sight, I decided. Night City, at the best of times, had felt like it was a stray bullet away from tearing itself apart. Everyone was out for themselves, clinging to the little that they had, and baring their teeth at anyone that tried to take anything from them. For better or worse, I wasn't any different. Now, however… it was as if the city was drunk with relief. There were people sitting on the sidewalk or in the middle of the road simply talking to each other. Or helping each other scrounge up what they could from a ruined building.

“Nothing brings people together like a common enemy,” Johnny remarked, leaning on the other side of the balcony, looking down with me. “An alien invasion is a break from their worldly woes. Don't have to worry about rent or goin’ in for work. That'll change when they miss a few meals, but ‘til then, this is probably the closest they've ever gotten to a taste of freedom.”

“Earth is still being invaded,” I felt compelled to point out. The Turians were leaving Night City alone for the moment. Lucy had slipped a bug in their system, and the GBM had them scared. Their intel hadn't suggested that we had something like that, so they didn't bother sending another ship to put a boot back on our necks. The rest of the world wasn't so lucky. The jammer that had isolated us were suddenly gone, revealing that Earth was getting hit hard.

The Turians bombed the ever-loving hell out of locations with an overt military presence, and when there wasn't much left beyond dust and rubble, they sent their troops to mop up. And if they failed to get everyone, those troops ended up slaughtering the Turian soldiers. The NUSA had implemented a draft and were handing out military-grade implants like they were candy. Europe, the Soviets, and Asia were all getting hit a lot harder as far as I could tell.

It was impossible to tell from my position who was winning or losing, but I did see that the soft that I gave out had had a marked impact on the war. The Turian code went from something unknowable to people already discovering their own workarounds. They crafted daemons and found ways to upload them to the Turian net -- there were videos online of the Turian mechs turning on their owners and slaughtering them. Of kinetic shields suddenly failing mid combat.

“Yeah, but that's half a world away. No one down there gives a shit. They're just happy they aren't the ones getting bombed,” Johnny said, leaning on the balcony. “Could go down there and be a big damn hero. Night City won't be forgetting that little light show any time soon.”

I shook my head, my gaze lingered on the kids before they disappeared around a corner. “I just wanted to kill the Turians that killed my kids,” I refuted, turning away from the balcony. My workshop had managed to survive the Turian bombardment. On my desk was the first draft of the Grav Drive. The ticket for me and the kids to get off of this rock. The rest of Earth didn't concern me, and my priority was building a ship capable of getting us all off the planet.

The first draft of the Grav Drive boasted an impressive lightyear per jump, meaning that it would take four jumps to reach Alpha Centauri. The Grav Drive acted as a slingshot, of sorts -- catapulting a ship forward at incredible speeds. The power demands for it were considerable, but working in combination with the GN Drive, I could meet those demands easily enough. Though, there were still inefficiencies in the design that I'd rather smooth out before making a commitment to building it.

Simply put, once we reach a new world, we would be starting from scratch. There would be no convenient junk piles with a century's worth of garbage for me to harvest when needed. Which reminded me -- I might as well recycle all the garbage that I could before leaving.

“A hero isn't something you decide that you are. It's for other people to decide -- and they've decided that the sun shines out of your ass,” Johnny remarked, materializing on the couch. “It wouldn't kill you to have a little fun.”

I don't know about that. It just might. Everyone looking at me, cheering… It felt weird to think about it, and I wasn't comfortable with the attention. I also wasn't comfortable with that poser gang that were trying to be me. Honestly, it sounded like a colossal pain in the ass that wasn't worth the hassle. They didn't know me and being in the center of attention sounded exhausting.

My gaze lingered on the computer screen for a moment, knowing that I should continue my work on the draft of the Grav Drive. I could invest more charges into it to move things along -- increase the range and speed. The first draft started at a lightyear, but the second draft could possibly travel a far greater distance. We could travel to Alpha Centauri in a single jump. Or further. There were a number of worlds in the goldilocks zone that could support human life. We could bounce around them until we found a planet we liked. Which would be a lot easier if we didn't need to make so many jumps.

All the same, I found myself drifting to the guitar that was on the couch. I stepped toward it, feeling an itch in my finger-

I paused before a sudden sense of vertigo overcame me. I nearly stumbled, a hand going to the wall to keep my balance. I felt something wet on my face, and I knew it was a nosebleed.

Johnny leaned forward, looking sick, “L, I don't-” he began to say, only to be cut off by…

Pain. I had felt pain before. I was intimately familiar with it, but I never felt anything like what I felt now -- it felt like someone was stabbing my brain with a blade coated in acid. I dropped to a knee, clutching my head in my hands and distantly I heard Johnny screaming. No. Not just Johnny. My own throat felt raw as I screamed, my vision flickering with static-

It was nothing short of a relief when I found the ground racing towards me and everything going dark.

…

“What. The fuck. Was that?” I heard Johnny bite the words out, but it sounded like he was underwater. Or I was. Everything felt fuzzy -- my entire body was prick and needles, as if my entire body had fallen asleep. I wasn't entirely sure if I was lying down face up or face down until I managed to open my eyes to look up at the ceiling. “Felt like a goddamn nuke going off in my fucking head. Your head. Fuck!”

I couldn't respond, simply taking in deep breaths as I found myself falling back on old habits -- calm down, examine the situation, and determine if I was dying or not. My HUD told me that it had only been about five minutes since I collapsed, and medical tech told me that I was within expected parameters. The issue arose in my brain with a sharp spike in blood pressure.

A seizure.

“I don't think the nanites… like me using my power,” I managed to gasp out, rolling over to my side and as I did so, about a half dozen droplets of blood fell from my face. The entire bottom half of my face and my neck was covered in blood. That was my only explanation. I burned through most of my charges and the nanites attacked the new twenty something tumors. Forcing myself into a sitting position, I still felt a pounding headache.

That was a first. And it was bad. My throat still felt raw from the screaming. It was a less than subtle reminder that my life was on a timer and I had just hit a milestone. Reaching out for a rag, only to find one dropped into my hand, and that made me go still. Looking up with wide eyes, I found myself speechless as my gaze met Becca's, who looked down at me with a stern expression. It almost seemed out of place on her, I thought.

“So. You going to tell me you're fine?” Becca asked and her tone was sharp enough to cut. I dragged the rag over my face, getting the worst of the blood off. Her voice wasn't like anything that I had heard before -- there was a cold anger in it. And I immediately swallowed down the words I had been about to say. There was a heavy silence between us, her expression almost unreadable except for the anger.

Then she sighed. “Whats going on, L? No bullshit. I came up here to drag your ass down and force you to have fun, and found you on the ground bleeding buckets.” Her lips thinned, “You scared the shit out of me.”

I finished wiping my face, my headache lessening, and I leaned against the wall as I sat. I didn't trust my legs yet. For a moment, I wasn't sure how to answer. I felt guilty. Becca wasn't used to seeing this, I had to remind myself. Kaiden and the others… It was normal for us to see each other slowly break down. Our condition worsening until one day we just didn't come back.

The words ended up escaping me, for better or worse. “I'm dying,” I admitted, letting out a sigh. Becca didn't look surprised exactly, given the condition she found me in, but she did look alarmed. She bit her lip as she looked down at me, clearly going through a rush of emotions and a lot of questions.

“Since when?” She asked, and I had kinda been hoping that she wouldn't ask that.

“Technically, since I left the Orphanage,” I hedged, not wanting to admit the truth. “It was a mix of things. Eezo poisoning for the most part, but a lot of general damage done over the years.”

Unsurprisingly, Becca zeroed in on the last thing I wanted to admit. “Fine. How long have you known you were dying, you damn gonk for brains?”

I hesitated to answer, and I could tell that had already pissed her off. I was tempted to lie, but it was Johnny that spoke up. “Cop up to it, L. You've been caught red handed,” he advised, sounding every bit as worn out as I felt.

I let out another sigh, “A few months. Got the news from Vik -- my power… each time I use it, it puts a tumor in my head and some of them are in places they really shouldn't be.” Becca's lips tinned and I could see her biting back a few choice words when she understood how long I had been keeping that secret. “This is the first time anything like this has happened. Normally, I just get a nosebleed and that's it.”

Becca took a calming breath, “So, cut them out. You have that autodoc thing -- cut them out.”

My lips thinned, “Becca. Those tumors are my power. They're information on how to build stuff like the GN Drive, or PYM particles. If I cut them out, I'll lose the understanding I need to make them work,” I stated. That was my theory, at least. Some of them, I could do without -- a charge spent on pickpocketing, or electric engineering. However, it wasn't as if the tumors were neatly labeled -- I could guess that the few of them in my brainstem likely were the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū, but the only way to confirm what a tumor was would be to base it off of the timing of it appearing.

“And they're killing you,” Becca stated, her voice frozen with some emotion.

“... and they're killing me,” I agreed.

She chewed on that for a long moment, looking down at me with a nearly unreadable expression. “Can you fix it?” She asked me, and to that…

“I'm working on it-”

“Are you going to fix it?” Becca interjected, crossing her arms over her chest. “You kept this a secret for months. Does anyone else know?” She continued, not really letting me get a word in edgewise.

“Kaiden figured it out,” I admitted. “I haven't told anyone.”

“So, if I go to Kaiden, he's not going to tell me something that you're neglecting to mention right now?” She continued and I fought the urge to wince.

Johnny, however, simply laughed. “She's riding your ass, L. And not in a fun way. Can't say you don't have it coming, though.” That was unhelpful. And annoying. Johnny really did flip between giving sage advice and being an absolute prick.

“The Relic. When it burnt out in my head, the nanites inside of it got released. They're fighting to rewrite my neural makeup, but they're focusing on the tumors, so they're practically a cancer treatment. I just… I can see the personality construct that was on the Relic. Johnny Silverhand,” I elaborated and Becca just looked at me for a moment, even the frustration vanishing from her face. She stepped forward, looming above me for a moment before she crouched down in front of me.

“You just attract bullshit right to you, huh?” Becca remarked, and that sounded like a rhetorical question. “You really are a gonk for brains. Seriously, L. You've been dealing with this shit all on your own? You didn't once think ‘This is some heavy shit, I better mention it to my friends. They could help me.’ Not even once! I swear, you're worse than Maine and David put together. Use your fucking words. Fuck. Fuck!”

Johnny hummed, “She's a firecracker. One of the good ones.” He made an idle remark that I chose to ignore.

I felt bad. She was torn up about it and I… I wasn't. “Sorry-”

“I swear to fucking God, if you apologize without understanding why I'm pissed, I'm going to beat some sense into that thick head of yours.” She snapped at me, and while I was pretty sure I knew why she was upset, I decided it was best to not test her threat. “You can fix this, right? You're not going to die.” That last bit wasn't a question. It was more of a statement that she was trying to will into fact.

“The autodoc is a start,” I reassured her. “I'll be replacing some parts of my body with implants to prevent the symptoms from worsening. So something like this won't happen again. As for a cure… I am trying, Becca. I am.” It wasn't that I didn't care. It wasn't that I wanted to die. I just…

I was just so used to the thought of death that I couldn't muster up anything beyond mild disinterest. If it was a bullet racing towards me, I could muster up a stronger response because death had ramifications for other people. But, a year from now? A deadline I was stepping to one day at a time? I didn't feel that same urgency. Especially when I could take care of everything I needed to before my time was up.

Becca's lips thinned as her gaze met mine. Then she reached out and squished my cheeks, making my lips pucker like a fish. I raised an eyebrow at her, but her expression was serious. “Say you're going to fix this, L. Make me believe it.”

“I'm going to fix this,” I replied, my voice slightly muffled by her holding my face. In response, she squeezed harder. I gave her a vaguely annoyed look, but she was unyielding.

Johnny decided to be helpful, “It's not enough to just say some empty words. She wants to see that you believe you'll unfuck yourself. Nothing less is going to be able to convince her.”

I… did the words really sound that hollow when I said them? When I thought them? I hadn't realized. But, I didn't exactly know what to say in that case. I was trying. Admittedly, other projects got in the way of it, but I was trying. The autodoc was a start, and soon I would come up with something else. Maybe do something like cloning for Johnny? I still needed to get him out of my head, but I suspected I was going to have a rather harsh decline in health once the nanites stopped fighting the tumors. So, maybe it would best to do both at the same-

A charge has been spent!

Ȑ̶̨̤͈̘͚͘i̵̢͆͗͊͝m̴̯̦͎̼͖͉͐̈́͋͑w̶̨̛̳̪̩̣̮̋̎͑̌͑͝ô̸̜̘͓̘͋̿̐͊͆̑͘̕r̶͉͊̊̓̐̅̒ͅḻ̸͙͙̜̺̄̃̾͆̓̔̇͝d̷̮̻̫̥̩̱̲̜̋͒̿̀́͜:̴̝͎̬͉̇͐̇̏̌̊̈́̈́͋͝ ̵͎̊͝͝H̸̨̯̝͇̹̜̳͑͒͜è̴̡̨̦͙͎̱̋̓̈̂͗͘a̴̩̰̟͚̻̘̝͋̀̊̌̋͌͜ͅl̸̠̼͚̣̜͙̤͇̊̌͛̌ê̴̲̼̻̲̏̄̓̿̊r̴̼̤͒͑̿̓͘͜͜͠ ̶͓͓̳̫̦͒̀̍́͂̈̀̕͠M̴̞͛͒͋̈͠ẹ̸̢̧̪̲͍̰̲͋̈́́̆̑̎̈͝ͅc̸̫̰͔̤̝̱͓̼͍̱̉̇̈́̏̚h̴̢̘̀̉̎͛̉͆͝͝ ̸̡̗̗̟͛́̅̀̚̕͝S̷̭͔̜͊̑e̶̡̻̭̲͈̲̪̍̊́̋͆̊͌͜r̶͕̮̠̺̮̙͊u̵͈̦͔͇͇͋̈m̴̛̩̈̏͑̄̕ ̸̰͚̻͔̞̺̼̱̃́́̄͒-̶̲̭͖̝͆͐̓͑̂͋̊-̷̡̛̠̖͚̯̤ ̸͍̺̆̅͐̃1̴̱͂́͒̅͌́̂

̷̟̟̱̟͍̲̩͔̇̋̋͋̍͒͜͠

Something was wrong. The very moment I felt the charge take hold, I could feel it forming in my brain with the sensation of a red hot needle poking into it. It lasted only a moment, but it was enough to get a wince out of me. Becca looked concerned for a moment, though she didn't let go of my face. The information itself… it was… fuzzy, if I had to call it something.

Normally, with a charge, I received context, I suppose you could call it. I received the ‘how’ something worked, and the ‘why’ something worked. But with this charge -- the Healer Mech Serum, I only received the how. Supercharged nanites that could heal any injury by reading the targets DNA, identifying the worst ailment that was affecting the subject, then acting on a set of instructions to cure the issue. Ranging from something as simple as undoing biological damage, to rewriting a segment of someone's DNA.

“I just came up with something,” I told Becca. The charge was odd, but given that I just had a seizure, I wasn't exactly surprised. “I'm going to fix it,” I told her, and this time…

This time, I saw that she believed me.

“You better,” Becca told me, a warning in her voice as our eyes met. And I felt… something. A sudden tension in the air as she held my gaze. I wasn't entirely sure how to describe it at first, but Johnny's bleed through provided an answer even before it happened.

As if we were drawn together by a pair of magnets, Becca suddenly leaned in, pressing her lips to mine as she kept my head still in her hands. Her lips were soft, I noted. And I felt a little bad, because she probably tasted blood. The kiss was quick, lasting no longer than a second, before Becca pulled her head back as fast as she had leaned in.

Normally, I knew, I would be confused. Uncertain. I don't think I was asexual, but romance was generally so far down on my list of priorities it might as well not be on it. Until, suddenly, it shot right to the top. More of Johnny's influence, I wondered, reaching up to her hands as Becca's gaze searched my face for some kind of reaction. She found what she was looking for based on how a small, almost shy, smile tugged at her lips.

I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, steel and chrome on steel and chrome.

Johnny made himself known to me, “And that's my cue to exit. Have fun you crazy kids,” he said, soundly oddly pleased, before he vanished from my sight.

Becca didn't know he was there in the first place, and I quickly found myself distracted by another kiss.