Life's Rough on the Rim: A Brave New World (ch. 1) (Patreon)

Waking up naked was a pretty normal experience for me, since I slept in the nude despite the constant fear in the back of my mind that someone would break in and I'd have to fight a burglar with my dick swinging in the wind, but I'm pretty sure that was a nightmare for the burglar as much as it was for me. So that part, as sleep slowly receded from my mind, didn't stand out to me. 

Waking up on a stone slab, in a cave, and surrounded by a baker's dozen people dressed in dyed human leather robes -- and I knew they were human leather because some of them had fucking faces on them... That? That was a first for me, and I couldn't say I was a fan, the sleep receding to be replaced with growing panic and confusion. 

Slowly, timidly, I started to sit up, looking around for an exit or an explanation. The flickering light from the candles placed upon skulls cast long shadows, and with the piles of bones tucked away, I had to say it was certainly a… vibe. A satanic murder cult vibe. 

Which made it all the more puzzling when a cute girl greeted me with a wide charming smile, “Andy! We finally found you!” She said, crossing the distance and throwing her arms around me. She smelled like peaches and blood, I noticed, feeling overall pretty numb. The kind of panic where you lock up, incapable of either flight or fight. The girl squeezed me tightly, and hesitantly, I returned the hug before she pulled back. 

I got a better look at her now. Black hair, pale skin, vibrant pink eyes, and in her late teens or early twenties. She looked vaguely familiar, but it was mostly the eyes. They were pretty distinctive. “W-what is going on?” I asked, trying to relax, but my heart wouldn't stop pounding at my ribs. I swallowed a lump in my throat, not entirely certain that I wanted an answer.

In response, she bonked me on the nose. The cute action was undermined when I realized there was blood on her hands, “Your incredible little sister went to a lot of work for our reunion, that's what happened! You wouldn't believe how many times we had to redo the ritual because we kept summoning the wrong people!” She informed me with a giggle and there was a lot to unpack in those few sentences. 

First of all, I was an only child. I didn't have a little sister. And my questions dried up about the magic ritual when I saw the body on the ground and the bloody pentagram on the floor. She followed my gaze and giggled again. 

“Waste not want not, Andy,” she said it was then that I realized who she was. 

Ashley Graves. Probably one of the single most black hearted and unrepentantly evil characters in fiction. I played the game she was in, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, when it blew up because of the incest ending, only to find out that the incest was the least fucked up part of the game. Murder, cannibalism, human sacrifice… 

So, this whole thing was pretty on point for her. 

Ashley reached forward, cupping my face in her hands, “Now -- just to make sure you're the real Andy… tell me something only he would know?” She said, her smile as sweet as poison. I had to swallow a lump in my throat, frozen for a moment. “Sorry~, but we’ve had too many false positives!” She said, and I realized that the corpse looked a lot like me. 

I had no idea what to say for a moment, mostly because I had no idea at what point of the game she was from. The games were divided up into three ‘episodes’ and if I said something she hadn't experienced… 

Except we got a flashback. 

“We… I… put a wedge in the crate and the girl inside had an asthma attack overnight,” I said and Ashley hummed with approval, gazing deep into my eyes. 

“And what was her name…?” She prompted, and that, I didn't know. The game blanked it out. If it was revealed, then I hadn't seen it yet. I had to lie. I had to lie like a lying liar whose metaphorical pants were on fire. 

So, I looked away, “Don't make me say it-” 

“Oh, Andy, it is you!” Ashley interrupted, hugging me again. I patted her on the back, wondering if she could hear my pounding heart. I glanced around the room again and saw, at least for the cultists clad in human skin, the tension seemed to be draining away. 

“Yeah, it's me,” I lied through my teeth. “Wanna tell me what the hell is going on here?” I asked, swallowing a breath of relief that she believed me. 

“I'll explain on the way! Oh, here are some clothes,” Ashley said and, to my immense relief, these weren't made out of people. It must have showed because Ashley giggled at my expense. I made a shoe of rolling my eyes, recalling what I could about Andy from the game as I dressed myself -- blue jeans with a black long-sleeve and a pair of… converse sneakers? And, to my mild concern, everything fit perfectly. 

As soon as I was dressed, Ashley grabbed my hand and started leading me out of the cave. Slowly, things got brighter while she talked, “I wound up here after I ended up summoning a demon, like that cultist. Remember him?” 

She didn't fully believe me, I realized. Because that was a test. “He played some bad music and summoned that black blob thing with eyes. It killed him.” I answered and her smile widened a fraction. 

“Well, I summoned the same guy, only I sacrificed one of the wardens! Next thing I knew, I was here!” Ashley began, and that was the point of divergence, I suppose. I wasn't sure what she meant by here until we stepped out of the cave. I felt like I got punched in the gut, following her gesture to the pale blue sky… 

I couldn't be on Earth, I realized. Earth didn't have rings. They arked across the sky in whiteish blue streaks, dominating an otherwise cloudless sky. 

Ashley poked my cheek and it was only then that I noticed my jaw had dropped, “It's a whole new world, Andy. Everyone says it's on the galactic rim or something. But, Andy, this place is craaaazy. It's got all kinds of stuff going on! There are aliens, there's robots, and a bunch of giant bugs! There's, like, no government so we can do whatever we want!” Ashley gleefully informed and it was then my gaze began to drift downward. 

If I had to describe it, the word village came to mind. And ruin. There were about a dozen buildings that looked like they had been built a century ago before Ashley and her band of cannibals moved in and started refurbishing them. There was a metal wall around the settlement -- large metal segments that looked like they had been taken from somewhere else and moved here. Beyond the walls was a thick and dense forest with tall trees. 

Ashley was quick to keep explaining, latching herself to my arm, “Well, there's some crummy empire somewhere, but I haven't seen them. The only people nearby are a bunch of nobodies. There are some tribals that don't even know what electricity is. But there have been some busy bodies buzzing around us.” As she spoke, she tugged on my arm, leading me down the dirt path that connected the town and the cave. 

It almost looked like a normal town. Beyond the lives growing over the brick walls, beyond the almost makeshift equipment, or the rusted vehicles that were either left behind a century ago or currently being worked on until they looked like they could survive a zombie apocalypse. But then there were the people. 

“Turns out that there are a lot of people like us here! People from all over the multiverse -- they get plucked and dropped here like I did,” she said as I looked at the people. Or, rather, characters. 

I watched as Jon Fucking Snow picked up a log with the help of John Fucking Price. Both looked haggard and worn, wearing metallic collars that had a red bar reading ‘armed.’ They wore outfits that looked like BDSM gear, just with a bit more modesty. Leather straps with a skirt of cloth to preserve their modesty. I watched them carry off a log to a fallen tree and I understood what I was seeing. 

Slave labor. 

Not everyone was a character, though I suppose it was possible they were just from media that I didn't recognize. I saw Spandam from One Piece walking down the dirt road, heading into one of the buildings. It was pretty easy to tell who was a part of this… tribe by who was wearing actual clothes and who wasn't. Spandam was wearing clothes -- complete with the same outfit he wore in Enies Lobby. 

“I… none of this makes any sense. Does anyone know why?” I asked, and it was startling to get overwhelming. Waking up after being summoned in a ritual by a demon worshiping psychopath that thought I was her brother? I could deal with that. Waking up on an alien planet that sounded chaotic as fuck with no centralized government to impose law and order? Tougher to deal with, but I could roll with the punches. That same world also populated by fictional characters? 

That shit was terrifying. 

“Not really,” Ashley said with a dismissive shrug of her shoulders, thoroughly uncaring. “No one really knows. Some people show up here after they died. Some are like me, and appeared after they touched something supernatural. And others like you, who get brought over here because of magic rituals! So, you like our village? It's nice, right?” 

I wanted to ask something but I almost feared the answer -- was it possible to go back? To leave? Because I was born for the modern era. I was born for the period of time that all the food I could ever want or need was a five minute walk to the nearest convenience store. That my ability to survive was determined by my ability to hold a nine to five job rather than if I managed to hunt and kill something that day. 

I swallowed that question down as my gaze lingered on a woman. Black hair, red eyes, in her mid to late twenties. A slave, judging by the collar and leather bindings, her large breasts cupped by thin cloth. That was Yor Briar, I realized. 

“It's nice-” I started, only to feel an elbow in my ribs. 

“Horndog. You're reunited with your adorable little sister and you're already eyefucking another woman?” Ashley pouted and I had to swallow my immediate reaction. Instead, I rolled my eyes. 

Andrew from the game was an odd mixture of a total pushover and confrontational. I was hoping that Ashley would take me acting a bit off as me being overwhelmed. “Right. It's not like we've been stuck in a room together for months and it's the first time I've seen another person. That's not wearing another person,” I added when Ashley went to retort. 

She pouted again, so I changed the subject. “Please tell me that you're not in charge of this place? I don't think my heart could take it.” That wasn't even a lie. The thought of Ashley with an army at her beck and call sent shivers down my spine. 

“Why do you have to be so mean? But no, I'm not in charge. Well, this little village is mine, but I’m not in charge in charge. I’m, like, a head priestess or something. There's a lot you can do with demons with the right sacrifices, you know?” She chuckled before leading me through the town. “I'm taking you to meet the big boss. So, don't be your usual wimpy self. She's big on self sufficiency. And I may have done a little exaggerating when I talked about how useful you might be…” She added, leading me to a central building at the heart of the village. 

That couldn't mean anything good, I already knew. The double doors opened and I was greeted by a confirmation of that fact because I recognized who was on the throne. She was wearing a white military uniform with a white hat, with pale blue hair and eyes, in her mid twenties with a blood red symbol between her breasts. She was as beautiful as she was terrifying. 

Esdeath. Another morally black character in fiction whose hobbies included slaughtering armies, torture, and romantic walks on the beach. Monstrously strong ice powers that she could use to freeze fucking time. 

This whole situation went from utterly awful to downright hellish. 

“Esdeath! I finally got him! Meet my big brother Andy!” Ashley introduced me while my gaze drifted downward to the man that was currently licking Esdeath’s black boot. I didn't recognize him, but he was built like a brick shit house with old scars running the length of his body. Claw marks, burn scars, stab wounds, bullet scars -- the guy had seen a long life of violence. And Esdeath ended it with a lazy kick of her foot, smashing his skull in and killing him. 

My gaze trailed back up to Esdeath to see her smiling warmly at Ashley, seemingly happy that she was happy. “Really? How fortunate. I'm pleased to see you reunited -- your sister has put in a lot of work and sacrifices to find you.” I don't think she meant sacrifices in a traditional sense- or, well, the modern traditional sense. And as if to confirm it, Esdeath chuckled, “She's been leading our raids for months now, always coming back with someone to carve out their hearts.” 

Ashley blushed, pleased with the praise. “It was nothing~!” 

“I appreciate her efforts,” I said, glancing at Ashley, and I really tried to sell that I wasn't furious that she summoned me to what amounted to hell. “And thank you for taking care of my sister. Speaking from experience, I know it couldn't have been easy.” Lies. Pure lies but they were the words that would keep me alive.

“Andy!” Ashley squawked indignantly while Esdeath merely chuckled. I had to stay on her good side, I decided. Because I wouldn't survive being on her bad side. In her setting, she was the strongest, bar none, and it required a lot of bullshit to put her down.

“The timing of your arrival is fortunate. We are currently getting ready for another conflict,” Esdeath informed, and the words, to my relief, were spoken to Ashley rather than me, who immediately perked up. “Though, I'm sure you must have questions?” 

I scratched at my cheek, my gaze going down to the dead guy. “A few. What's up with all the people wearing people and the slavery?” I asked, looking back at her, feeling like they were pretty fair questions. To my knowledge, Esdeath was a firm believer in might makes right, and so long as it fell under that umbrella, she could do anything. Slavery, I could see. The victor could do what they wanted to the loser. Flaying people and wearing them as a hat, though? 

“The slaves are foes that we have defeated. The Cannibal Forest is quite populated with numerous bands of tribals and ruins -- and no, the forest is not named for us. I saw potential in them, and I've given them this chance to join us. If they flee, they die. If they fight, they die. They could spend out the rest of their lives as slaves, and while it would be a waste, such is their choice. Or, they can join my army and fight for me to earn their freedom.” Esdeath replied, and that fit what I knew of her character. Though, I did wonder what the criteria was when Spandam, a mouth-breathing moron from One Piece, managed to clear the bar. 

It was actually a little reassuring. 

“As for the cannibalism…” Esdeath inclined her head to Ashley, who giggled. 

“I told you, Andy, there aren't any rules here. If we win, we get to do whatever we want,” Ashley said, and I was starting to see why the two of them got along. “Want to see it for yourself? We could go knock over some village! You could kill them all. You could rape them. Or you can enslave them. Or all three in any order you want!” Ashley said with a laugh and Esdeath didn't correct her. 

Right. 

Okay. 

So… 

I'm actually fucked, huh? 

A million thoughts flashed across my mind at that moment. I absorbed everything that I learned and examined it with pure survival instinct. My lizard brain, that primal part of myself that wanted nothing more than survival, woke up after a lifetime of being dormant because I had never been in any danger before. 

I was in a place called the Cannibal Forest because this was apparently the place to be if you liked snacking on other people. So, running away to a neighboring tribe could be just as deadly as staying here. Not that my odds were great of escaping in the first place because if Esdeath wanted me found, then I could be halfway across the world -- she'd still find me. Not to mention, Ashley could end up summoning me back with another demonic ritual. 

I imagine that they would be less than forgiving if they caught me. I imagine I'd get tortured then have my soul sacrificed to a demon to summon the next Andy. 

Yet, staying was unsustainable. I couldn't trick Ashley forever. Sooner or later, I'd slip. She'd ask me a question I wouldn't have the answer to and the jig would be up. Not to mention, I didn't possess any robust skills or strengths that Esdeath would value. I was literally just a random ass dude and apparently, the only special thing about me was I looked like Ashley’s brother. 

No- that wasn’t entirely true. I did seem to have one advantage. 

Metaknowledge. If this place was full of characters from various fiction, then I knew who to look for. Maybe Wonder Woman was on this planet, and she could kill Esdeath and save me. It let me know the weaknesses of certain characters and how to deal with them, like Esdeath. 

Her ‘weakness’ was that she wanted to fall in love. Her type was something like a boy from the boonies, the potential to become a General, and an innocent boyish smile. I didn't fit the criteria, I don't think, but I could move in that direction. It probably wouldn't save me, but it could make her a little less gung ho about killing me if the need ever arose. And I knew that Esdeath treated her subordinates well by letting them do whatever they wanted. 

“What I'm hearing is that this place is incredibly dangerous,” I began, my lips thinning. “So, it's them or us. I choose us,” I said, deliberately wording it for max approval points from Esdeath. As a by product, Ashley seemed impressed. 

“Whoa, that's surprisingly manly of you, Andy! I didn't think you had it in you!” She said patting me on the back and I gave a dull look in response. 

“You're the one that told me not to be a wimp, you know?” I replied playfully. A plan was sort of forming in the back of my mind. Calling it a plan gave it too much credit, if I was being perfectly honest. It was more of an idea, a blind hope, and a desperate gamble all rolled into one. 

If I bought enough time to find enough characters that could counter Esdeath, counter Ashley, and whoever the fuck else was a part of this madness, then maybe we could break away. It was the definition of a hail mary, the longest of longshots, but I genuinely didn’t see any other alternatives. If my goal was to live, then I needed to start taking action and, never before in my life had I realized just how badly I wanted to live. 

“You are as your sister described,” Esdeath said approvingly. “You will join us on the attack, then. It would be good for you to see the nature of this world -- Ashley has informed me that your own was quite different.” She said, standing up and stepping on the corpse of the man. “Our current prey will be quite interesting.”

Well, that filled me with nothing but dread but I swallowed it down. 

Esdeath left the building and Ashley poked me in the ribs, “Good job, Andy. I was worried she was going to make you one of the slaves!” Horror must have shown on my face because she smiled warmly, “Don’t worry. You would have been my personal slave!”

That wasn’t nearly as reassuring as she thought it was. 

Only it wasn’t the time to get caught up on that. I had just volunteered to go fight and commit copious amounts of war crimes. When I had literally no idea how to fight, much less kill someone. As fucked up as it was, I needed a good showing. An excellent showing. Something that may protect me if Ashley figured out I wasn’t Andy sooner than I hoped. 

What did I have?

Jack and Shit, I swiftly concluded as we made to follow Esdeath out of the building to see who would be joining the attack. There was a convoy of trucks that were lined up near the gate to the village, and I saw a spattering of other familiar faces. Muscular, from My Hero Acedamia. Didn’t know much about him beyond he was a prick that had super strength. Rose Wilson, Ravanger from DC comics. Also didn’t know too much about her beyond the fact that she had daddy issues and she could sometimes see the future. And she was DC’s version of ‘Peak Human’ which was basically superhuman with extra steps. 

And was that Kuze Daisaku from Yakuza? Hardcore Yakuza gang boss that just wanted to do cool Yakuza gang boss shit. 

“Stick with me, Andy,” Ashley instructed, leading me to a truck that had Spandam in the back seat before he scrambled out to open the door for us. 

He greeted me with a bow and a strained smile, “Greetings to you, Andy! Please, let me know if you need anything! I’m at your service!” He said, and I think I saw how he managed to escape slavery. My gaze flickered to Ashley, who just smiled away. 

“Shotgun!” She said, getting in the passenger seat while I was forced to get into the back. Spandam was our chauffeur, gripping the wheels with white knuckles and clear nervousness. “Buddy, you’ll be sticking close to my brother, got it? He’s just going to see the sights and see what I can do!” She sent a beaming smile at me, and I couldn’t live at this girl’s mercy. I needed something to give me an edge. Something that would let me stand on my own two feet. 

But I wasn’t seeing it when I was surrounded by experienced fighters, people that were practically superhuman, and people that were outright super human. 

I didn’t say anything, simply gripping the handrail to the door tightly as the convoy began moving. The metal gate slid open, letting the first of three trucks pass through. Banking to the left, I saw a dirt path where the trucks had come and gone a number of times through the dense forest. Looking out the window, I watched it all go by for the better part of an hour before I saw working crews cutting down trees. Making a branching path, I think. 

“How big is this… tribe?” I asked, not sure what to call it. I didn’t see that many people at the village, but it was a good thirty to fifty people if I had to guess. 

It was Spandam that spoke, “The capital has a thousand people in total, but there are many satellite settlements that are under development. The village that we were in is the largest, but there are a dozen more that have around ten to twenty citizens and twice that in slaves.” He answered, and that was a startling thought. 

“And the collars work? They stop rebellions?” I asked, still searching for a silver bullet. I could lead a slave rebellion if I deactivated the collars. Or, at the very least, I could slip away in the ensuing chaos. Maybe fake my death or something. 

Spandam reached up to touch his neck, and I got the impression that his rise to ‘citizen’ was a recent development. “The bomb collars of my own design,” he said, and I knew that was a lie when I heard the word ‘bomb.’ “Any tampering will set them off, but not just them. It’ll explode any collars that are on the same wavelength. So, it’s in the slaves’ interest to keep an eye on each other.” Inspiring distrust to prevent a mutiny. Made sense, I suppose. Also made it difficult to pull off what I hoped. 

The ride was hardly silent. When I wasn’t asking questions, Ashley was talking. I paid attention to it, but it was mostly idle conversation or telling me a bit about the characters I already saw. It went on for a few hours before we left the forest behind, and it was another three hours before I saw our destination. 

A city. There were no skyscrapers of any kind, but it was undeniably a city. It sat at the top of a hill with farmland covering large swathes of land between us. A stone wall marked the border of the city, and I’m pretty sure that I saw a castle peeking up somewhere near the heart of it. A medieval city, I realized, the vehicles speeding ahead and the distance began to rapidly shrink. 

“You’re going to want to hold on, Andy,” Ashley said, and her smile was all teeth as Spandam began to drive through a field of wheat. I did as she said, and a moment later, I saw why. 

Before us, the ground exploded. At first, I thought it was a mortar or something, but when fire washed over the windshield, I realized it was a fireball. Gripping the crash bar, I braced myself as I kept my eyes glued to what was before us. Streaks of fire began to rain down from the city, forcing the vehicles to swerve out of the way. The city had been prepared for us, I realized. Waiting. 

Esdeath stepped out of her vehicle, riding upon the hood. I couldn’t see her face, just her blue hair whipping in the wind, and with a single gesture I saw her power in action. From thin air, icicles formed -- they were the size of the truck she stood on. A dozen of them in total, and I knew that the action was easy for her. As easy as the the flick of a finger that she used to send the icicles towards the walls of the town at speeds just shy of the speed needed to break the sound barrier. 

In a flash, they crossed the distance and smashed through the stone wall, sending massive chunks of rubble and ice flying into the town. I could see building shuddering as they were struck, dust and smoke going up. Esdeath’s vehicle led the pack, and didn’t slow down even as Esdeath created an ice path to clear the rubble of the wall. 

It was a blessing, I tried to think, that by the time we pulled up, the killing in the immediate area seemed to be done. Devastation filled the area around the walls -- buildings collapsed, people laid dead on the ground, with craters forming where the rubble had skipped before settling wherever it landed. I could smell blood in the air. Hear screaming in the distance. 

“Now, Andy, watch this,” Ashley said, completely unbothered by the carnage before raising a hand. From her skin, a gray mist seemed to emerge, lurching forward to sweep over the field-

I flinched back when I saw the corpses begin to stir. Missing limbs, guts spilling out, even crushed heads -- the corpses seemed to drink in the gray mist and to become zombies. Ashley glanced back me, all smiles. “Perks of going last! These guys will tear into everyone the others leave behind, and we can corral them up into one location. Pretty great, huh?” She said, beaming pride and joy. 

“It’s…” My voice nearly failed me, but I swallowed my revulsion down. “It’s something else, Ashley.”

“Maybe we can get a few sacrifices! If I found you, we could get mom and dad back!” She asked, laughing at the mere thought. It was a rather sinister sound considering how she had sacrificed her parents’ souls to a demon, then cooked and ate their corpses immediately afterward. “Go and search around -- there might be stragglers, but they probably have stuff worth taking!” Ashley urged and glanced at Spandam. 

Another test, I knew it in my bones. To see if I ran. 

As if. There was no way I could get away. 

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I nodded and turned to one of the buildings that were still standing as I tried in vain to blot out everything around me. The house looked like what I imagined a medieval house would look like -- tall, white wash walls, with visible wood supports. It was two stories tall with open spaces for windows. Grabbing hold of the heavy oak door, I pushed it open to see that it had wood floors, decent furniture, and… 

A family of three on the ground, dead. I’m not sure who killed them, but it had been relatively clean. Surgical. If it wasn’t for the blood, I wouldn’t know that they were dead. 

“I’ll… take the downstairs. You take the upstairs,” I said, looking down at the corpses. I didn’t feel guilty. I couldn’t. This shit was so fucking far out of my hands, I couldn’t even pretend that this was my fault. Still, my mind raced, reeling from it all. A man, a woman, and what seemed to be a brother to one of them. 

“Of course, sir,” Spandam said, eyeing me less than subtly. He made his way up the stairs, and I could guess what his orders were when it came to me. 

It was pure desperation, I thought, grabbing a rag that was on a dinner table that had food on it. It never would have occurred to me under any other circumstances. I was grasping at straws because I knew that I needed something. Anything. And I was willing to pay whatever price I had to if it meant living. 

I dipped the rag in the blood of the dead family before I began to draw on the floorboards. A pentagram. A large one with five smaller ones in the spaces between the points. I grabbed candles, already lit, and placed them at the points. Looks didn’t matter, I thought to myself. In Coffin of Andy and Leyley, they had been drawn sloppily. In the cave, it has been the same. There hadn’t even been music to summon the demon. 

Set dressing, I figured. Bait to catch the interest of a demon. 

“Please fucking help me,” I implored the summoning circle drawn in blood. I had no real expectations that it would work. Ashley was called a tar soul, marking her as pure evil as you could get. It marked her as a special interest to demons. Respectable. 

Yet, despite my expectations, the pentagram began to stir. The black smoke from the candles began to drift toward a central point until a black ball formed. I didn’t hear it. Not in so many words. Instead, it was more of… a feeling. A feeling that conveyed a message. 

Contract: Randy Marsh the Testical Devil

In exchange for the testicles of the contractor or that of a sacrifice, he can control the testicles of others or his own. 

… I think I’d rather sell it my soul rather than my balls, I thought, and it was then that I realized exactly what kind of bastard I was in my heart of hearts. “Spandam!” I shouted, and he had been waiting. Ready to spring into action the moment that I left or trouble came our way to protect me. Because he knew he wouldn’t survive Ashley’s wrath. He stumbled down the stairs when he saw the pentagram with me pointing a finger at him. “Take his as payment.”

Two things happened instantaneously. First, Spandam made a strangled noise, his hands going to his groin, while his legs gave out and he fell down the rest of the stairs. I barely noticed that as the second thing took hold. It was a strange thing, I decided, to suddenly gain awareness of your soul. I could feel the deal mark it. A piece of me that I’ve always had, but never noticed. 

Knowledge of the pact, and how to use it, filled my mind. I was so distracted that I almost failed to notice that the door swung open to reveal a man. His face was panic-stricken. He was familiar, I think. Hughie Campbell, from the Boys. There was a pistol in his hand and he simply stared at me, frozen in indecision. Hesitation. 

I didn’t hesitate. Because more than anything, I was a coward who would do whatever it took to survive. 

“I cast Testicular Torsion.”

…

This story is something of a special case for me. There are no scheduled updates or advanced chapters. It’s not really a story that I’m putting in the Idea Pile, simply because I know there’s no chance this story would ever win the vote. However, it’s a story that I’ve been playing around with for the better part of five years now and I want to get it out of my head. So, updates will be sporadic and whenever I get some time to work on this story.

I tried it out as a Quest about a year ago, but it fizzled out. Partly because my schedule doesn’t really lend well to a Quest, but mostly because I like knowing where I’m going for the narrative and plot. 

For those that are unaware, Rimworld is a colony management simulator where you try to survive on a planet on the galactic rim. It’s a harsh environment filled with raiders, slavers, drug runners, demonic cultists, genocidal machines, magical monsters, genetic abominations, bloodthirsty ludites, brutal feudulists, and much, much, much more! If you can think of a way to die horrifically, then Rimworld has it. 

For that reason, it’s no-holds-barred when it comes to survival. Drug farms? Organ harvesting operations? Inhumane experimentation? Slavery? Demonic deals? All are fair game on the Rim. 

This world, in particular, has been populated by all manners of fictional characters. Some lead their own factions -- noble kingdoms trying to bring law and order to a chaotic land, bandit tribes that attack any other without mercy or remorse, lone cities trying to remain independent despite constant pressure all around them, or empires trying to rise from the ashes where others have fallen. Others will be part of factions, some will wander the land as a band of traders, and mercenaries, or strike out as lone hermits. 

While this isn’t really a WC fic, I did use the Interactive WC to help drum up some ideas, because it is way too useful to not use for a story like this. To that end, the limitation on who could theoretically show up in the story would probably cap at Tier 8, with Tier 9 exceptions on a case by case basis. Does that sound absolutely busted? Yes. Yes, it does. So, if you have any ideas for some characters, what they might be doing, and who they might encounter on the rimworld, let me know! If I like the idea, I’ll probably shamelessly steal it. 

Without further ado, welcome to the Rimworld.