Vending Machine - 147 -Enemy Assassin (Patreon)

A figure slowly descended from above us, the charred and blacken Elderwood a looming backdrop against it.

Given the rate it was descending, they must be using magic or have the ability to float or fly in some way, because there was no way an ordinary person could freefall as slowly as that.

Not to mention, the figure was dressed in a rather strange way.

This person certainly gave off a rather unique impression from the glossy black leather dress that wrapped tightly around her body, exposing most of ample and shoulders, with thin silver chains looping around her waist, neck and arms.

How should I say it? She looked very sensational and sexy in her S&M outfit.

She also had black eyeliner around her eyes and black lips, with long black hair that extended way past her waist.

With her black on black outfit, one would think that she would blend in with the charred Elderwood in the background, but for some reason, she seems to be glowing a little.

“Are those boots? Since they are translucent, it doesn't look like they could be removed,” said Hevoy.

Everyone squinted their eyes for a better look at this person and sure enough, she looked all glowy and slightly transparent, like a ghost or a spirit.

Ramis looked intrigued, but everyone else immediately had this guarded look about them.

"Who are you?" asked Director Bear.

The translucent woman suddenly halted in mid-air.

Her disdainful gaze was far from friendly.

“Who the hell are you!!?? It’s your uncle [2], the famous Shrieking Queen Kayorings!””

As if to emphasis her name, she opened her mouth and screamed loudly before sticking out her tongue at us and making a throat-slashing gesture. A woman who refers to herself as ‘your uncle’… looks like yet another intense character has appeared.

Thus far, the only decent individuals we have encountered lately were Kikoyu, Kuroyata and Botan.

Normally, we would be shocked by such a scene. However, the visual impact, though unique, lacked the shocking impression left by the Director of Darkness. Frankly, I was more shocked by her loud voice and foul mouth.

To stand out, she would have to top Hevoy’s unique perversion or Director of Darkness special fondness for telling lame dad jokes.

The tight dress and general appearance gave a rather misleading impression. I’m sure she would actually look good with a more subdued style of dress.

“Famous? Do you know her, Hyurumi?” asked Ramis innocently.

“I’m not into that kind of thing, so no, never heard of her,” said Hyurumi dismissively.

From the way everyone was tilting their heads and whispering to each other, no one seemed to know of this ‘famous’ Shrieking Queen.

To proclaim yourself as ‘famous’ is rather pathetic, isn’t it?

“Fumu, we don’t know who you are, but what are you doing here?” asked Director Bear with a typical backhanded swish [3] with his paw.

“Oi, oi, you really don’t know this uncle? Are you from the boonies?!”

Woah, is this person actually famous for real?

“Ugh, no way, no way, you bunch of cave dwelling idiots don’t know anything about the world at all. Are you all just a bunch of bumbling idiots?”

“Fumu, I’m fine with being called an idiot, but what exactly are you doing here?” Director Bear did not appear disturbed by the insults.

The atmosphere between the two were completely different.

“Ugh, me? This uncle is here to turn this floor into a sea of fire, annihilating fools who dared to interfere with the Left Arm General and everyone else on this floor!”

While I would like to question the need to raise her arms to the sky like that while speaking, the content of her speech was what’s more important right now.

So, it looks like she was the one who set this place on fire. Moreover, she openly stated that she was out to kill everyone on this floor, which included us. However, it looks like she doesn’t really understand us, her targets.

A quick look around showed that almost everyone had taken note of this information and were readying their weapons.

“In other words, is it safe to assume that you are on the side of the King of the Netherworld?”

“That’s abso-lute-ly right! This uncle is one the King of the Netherworld’s most loyal subordinate, Minor General Kayorings!"

A Minor General? If I remember correctly, there are four generals leading the Demon King’s army called the Right Arm General, Left Arm General, Right Leg General and Left Leg General, and then there were twenty Finger Generals.

The King of the Netherworld we are dealing with now is actually the ‘Left Arm General’ with a Minor General, Medical General, Middle General, Special General and Progenitor General.

I guess Minor General is the lowest ranking among the five general ranks?

While he looked like quite formidable, I don’t get the feeling of desperate hopelessness that I did when facing off against the King of the Netherworld.

Moreover, my heart is fluttering at the thought of finally seeing someone who seems to have inside knowledge of what’s going on inside.

If we are able to capture her, things could finally move forward a little easier.

“Oi you, how the heck did you survive, hah?”

“We are facing someone from the undead race, ordinary weapons won’t work, so stay alert.”

Instead of answering her, everyone focussed on their combat readiness.

Is everyone really going to fight her knowing that she’s a subordinate of the King of the Underworld? While I understand my comrades’ strength, she is still a general after all. We should find out what her real strength is first.

“Oi, oi, you seriously wanna fight me? Don’t you know the rules of fighting? This is the mud slinging part where we hurl increasingly harsh insults at each other. Humph, well I don’t mind crushing you hicks with power. Come on, come at me anytime!”

The fight had already started even before she had started goading us.

She appeared quite confident that physical attacks won’t work, because she did not even move her semi-transparent body from the first arrow that was fired at her.

“An arrow, huh? You think this would hurt meeeeeaaaooooouuucchhh!!! Ow!! That hurts, damn it!!”

An arrow had landed perfectly on her semi-transparent shoulder.

"We have prepared many countermeasures. That's an arrow enchanted with magic," said Hevoy. He was standing next to Shui, who was still in position on one knee, bowstrings still vibrating from the shot.

Looks like Hevoy had enchanted Shui’s arrow.

Could magic work against ghostly entities? The only countermeasure I can think of against ghost back in Japan was purified salt.

"I don't like loud women," the old man was shaking his head disapprovingly, just before he swung his golden fan down as though he was swatting something away.

Suddenly, rain clouds covered the clear skies and a thunderbolt struck Kayorings.

“GYAAAAAA!!!!!!”

The scream was as loud as expected. Well, I guess one can’t help but scream when struck by lighting. The affect was quite apparent, [1] she fell from the sky and hit the ground hard.

Somehow, she still managed to get up, looking all smoky and charred. Her long black hair had frizzed up too. Wow, lightning even works of semi-transparent entities like her?

She was shaking all over and hanging her head. That single blow appeared to have dealt great damage to her person.

“D-don’t you dare underestimate me!”

The chains on her body suddenly began to move on their own like sentient beings and struck at Director Bear who stood the closest to the fallen Kayorings. However, he quickly parried them with claws imbued with red light.

“What da heck?! What da heck is all this?! Who the heck are you guys?! You aren’t small fries, w-wait, Left Arm General warned us about some people. It’s you guys, he’s talking about!!!”

It’s too late to recall such an important detail now.

“It is better for ladies to be more refined,” said Granny Yumite as she flew through the air, still in an elegantly seated position somehow. She had been thrown forward in a low-altitude flight by the shockingly strong Ramis.

Her sword flashed from its concealing cane and silver light seemed to coil around the woman’s body and she collapsed to the ground without given the opportunity to scream out her protest.

Granny looked like she could fly forward into the ether, but partway after she had slashed at Kayorings, Kuroyata descended from the sky to grab Granny by the shoulder [1] and gently guided her to the ground. Kuroyata is certainly a most capable and reliable bird.

[1] As for the woman, she was still rolling about. She looked a little more transparent, but still haven’t ‘died’.

I wonder how Kayorings would feel about being so quickly subdued without even the chance to do anything significant aside some big hot air… once she wakes up, that is.

Even though I know that she’s the arsonist who started the forest fire that nearly killed us, I felt a bit sorry for her having to fight all of us alone.

I know that my comrades are strong, but I had not expected this kind of one-sided victory against an actual general from the Demon Army. Although we do have the numerical advantage, this victory was all thanks to the abilities of Director Bear, Grandpa Shimerai, and Grandma Yumite.

"The old lady had taken away the best part,” Grandpa grumbled.

While his lightning magic had been very effective, he seemed a bit miffed about not being the one to land the decisive blow.

Isn’t it fine, though? It’s not like I did anything either.

There was no time for me to act at all in this fight. Everything happened too quickly.

Even though I did my best to come up with countermeasures, like bouncing off the herbicide with my <Barrier> or thinking up new functions to enhance Ramis’ fighting skills.

Since there was no way of knowing what kind of enemy was waiting for us, I had prepared a lot of lube in a barrel during the middle of the night, but what should I do with it now…

“It’s great that we have one of the generals in our custody. Hopefully, we can get some detailed information out of this,” said Director Bear as he hefted the half-transparent Kayorings, now tied up with some kind of special rope.

It was thanks to this line-up of people in our group that we are able to win so easily, to the point that most of us did not even have the opportunity to show off our skills. However, if Grandpa and Granny were not here, it could have been a hard won fight.

Things would be so much easier if we have these two with us all the time, but since they were so elderly, we can’t just keep dragging them around in the dungeon all the time. Getting their help this time round was already quite major.

It was great relief to have someone reliable on your back in such a critical time, being able to feel that your back is protected really makes a great difference.

The remaining floors in this dungeon was slowly decreasing. If we could resolve the abnormalities on the rest of the floors as smoothly as this, it would not be long before we encounter Leader Keyroil and the rest.

I feel like it is our duty to stop them from committing atrocities, but what exactly should we do once we meet? Although no conclusion has been reached yet, both sides must meet and negotiate.

Even if we do end up clashing once more, resulting in the worse possible outcome.

“Haahhhh--- I’m hungry now that the tension’s all gone! Hakkon, food!” cried Shui.

"Ah, me too!" Ramis stuck up her hand.

"I want a drink!"

The rest started crowding around me with Shui and Ramis at the forefront.

Well, let’s stop thinking about difficult things here. For now, I shall do my part as a vending machine that provides food and drinks for everyone.

[Gumihou: Woah, kind of anticlimactic, lol]

[1] Add details

[2] The actual term is ‘ore-sama’, which is a very crude and male-dominant way of referring to yourself. In Japanese culture, people tended to avoid using the word ‘I’ when referring to themselves, so to use ‘ore’ which is already very in-your-face, calling yourself ‘ore-sama’ is super obnoxious. The closest equivalent in English is probably a ‘your mom’, or ‘your uncle’ in Chinese.

[3] It’s a ‘What da heck!’ gesture that goes with a backhanded swipe at chest level rather than a high backhanded face-slap. Presumably it’s to smack someone in the chest to stop them speaking. Usually the two comedians ‘boke’ and ‘tsukkomi’ would be standing together while facing the audience, and the backhanded smack on the chest was something the ‘tsukkomi’ would do to physically call out the ‘boke’ for saying something stupid.

https://www.japanesewithanime.com/2021/07/tsukkomi-gesture.html