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Gumihou: Hmm… starting word count 1581. Basically streamlined the chapter and reduce the extra words.

The transfer stone took us back to the 40th Floor.

From the teleportation room onwards, it took us two days to move through the dense forest to reach the Zlatorog’s territory. We had to abandon some Drop items on the way, but it really can’t be helped.

When Dora-chan saw the Zlatorog, he immediately zoomed forward with a cheer and slammed several Ice Spears into the deer-like creature. The Zlatorog screamed and lightning crackled between its antlers.

Unfortunately for it, Dora-chan’s speciality was evasion and not a single one of the powerful attacks managed to even graze the little dragon. In fact, one could say that Dora-chan was the worst kind of enemy it could have faced.

Eventually, the Pixie Dragon wreathed itself with Fire Magic and plunged through the Zlatorog several times, creating holes in its body until it collapsed to the ground.

“”Waahoo! Take that! Now then, let’s see what I got…””

There’s that scratch card-like anticipation again…

“”Fur, hoof and some magic stones? Why can’t we get meat?!””

“… …”

“”Aruji~ I’m going to collect the delicious fruit~””

“Ah, sure…” the bushes that we had picked clean last time were heavy with fruit again. I guess they… respawned too? Is that the correct term?

[5a] “”What a hassle, I guess I’ll help too,”” declared Dora-chan.

Umu, I’ll stay here and watch your backs. Another Zlatorog might appear.”

I did not argue with that, although I suspect that Fer just wanted to fight the Zlatorog or just wanted an excuse to not collect berries with us.

Fine by me though.

We collected five sacks worth of the Violet Berries, just like last time. After that, we went to the area guarded by the Zlatorog and found stairs to the next floor.

After climbing down the stairs, we found ourselves in a wide open space.

“…so, after a dense forest, we get this.”

““Fuhahahah, dungeons are really fun!!””

Umu, it looks interesting.”

“”Uwaahh~~ Aruji~~ Sui can’t see anything~~””

Indeed, the space before us is basically the Wild West Frontier. I half expected to see a tumbleweed rolling by…

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It was our second day traversing through the 41st Floor of seemingly endless and featureless wilderness.

“”Woah, there really is nothing around, huh… not even other monsters,”” Dora-chan commented through telepathy as Fer rushed through the empty wilderness with me and Sui-chan on his back. It had been like this yesterday and most of today.

We spent a very cold night in the middle of nowhere and continued to travel in a straight line. [8] It was times like this that I am especially grateful for Fer’s confidence in his magic senses.

Still, the area was not completely free of monsters.

[9a] ““Incoming.””

Fer’s voice echoed in our minds and we looked up.

[9] At first, there was nothing to see but a dull cloudy sky. Then, a vaguely ominous purple cloud seemed to appear. The next thing we saw were huge black wingspans and a bird with a hooked beak, oddly bald head and neck was seen. It was a Poison Vulture.

Like the vultures on earth, it preyed on rotting corpses. According to [Appraisal], it would kill its prey with poison before transporting the body to a hidden location, and let the meat rot before eating it.

The hairs on my skin stood up when I read about this, but Fer merely said, “”Just take it down from a distance with magic. There are too few of them to be interesting anyway.”"

[5b] ““True, and the only thing they Drop are magic stones. Useless.””

[8] I think only our party would dare to say that magic stones were useless… “”Ahem, so, there aren’t anything else aside from these Poison Vultures.””

“”Umu, not as far as my senses could tell. This place is also pointlessly big. Bigger than the previous floor.””

“”Seriously…”” I was too exhausted to even be outraged. I mean, sure I haven’t been doing any running or fighting, but the boredom and the featureless landscape were starting to get to me.

““Wait.”” [10] I suddenly sat up. I looked around the dull landscape that was swiftly passing us by. Fer had been travelling all day for two days now. We’re moving at a very swift pace but still haven’t seen the end of this weird hell. Aside from a handful of those Poison Vultures, there was nothing else that challenged us.

Well, that’s not quite true, the days were still alright but the nights were incredibly cold. So cold that I ended up making us Kimchi Hotpot for dinner last night. Also…

“”How long would it take an ordinary Adventurer to cross this place?”” [5]

“”Umu, two months, maybe three? Longer if they got lost.””

[9a] “”We haven’t encountered any edible beasts and there is no water sources either.””

[10]

“”I see what you mean. Umu, if that is the case, we may be going through a dungeon challenge now.””

“”A challenge?””

“”That’s right, a challenge of stamina, resources and mental fortitude.””

“”Oh? Oh! That’s right, without meat Drops or water fountain, an Adventurer is stuck with whatever they can carry on their person. Not to mention the sudden drop in temperature at night.””

“”The long travel and being hounded by Poison Vultures, a good challenge,”” said Dora-chan begrudgingly. [5c] [5c]

“”It’s boring,”” muttered Fer.

“”Oh, yeah. That, definitely…””

Privately, I thought: You have the luxury to think that this is all very boring because I have nearly endless supply of food via [Net Super], as well as access to futons and heating pads.

[10] With the issue of hunger, thirst, and cold taken off the table, we have the luxury to be more annoyed than frightened by the seemingly endless travelling. As for being hounded by Poison Vultures, my familiars were all too glad to see one, if only to take potshots at them.

It took us a total of six days before we even see the end of this wretched place. A cave suddenly yawned open in front of us, with stairs leading down to the next floor. There wasn’t even a dungeon boss. It was truly a challenge for a person’s mental fortitude, resources and stamina.

On the way down, Dora-chan discovered a small treasure chest.

It spewed poisonous gas, but we already knew that thanks to [Appraisal]. Sadly, the only thing inside it was a single gold coin.

Regardless, we were all glad to see the end of that endless wilderness.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Umu,”

“”Yeah…””

“”Aruji~ would there be lots of monsters on the next floor?””

“Maybe, who knows, eh?”

We stepped off the last stair and onto the 42nd Floor.

Whooooshh…

Flat, empty wilderness greeted us.

“… …”

“Grrrrrrrr”

“”What the-“”

““Mu, why is it nothing…””

“Graahh!! You! Get on my back quickly!”

“Eh?”

“Now! I’m going to run through this wretched place at my fastest speed!”

“Hah?! No way.”

“The fastest speed you can manage, I’ll be careful, just get on quick now!”

I hesitated for a second more, but then held out my leather bag. “Sui!”

Sui hopped into the bag, I secured it tightly across my chest and jumped onto Fer’s back, laying myself flat on his back with Sui squished between us.

“Dora-chan, what about you?”

“”Oh, don’t worry about me! Let’s goo!!!!””

Off we went.


[Gumihou: Yeah, deleted the ‘noooo…’ ending. Word count closer to 1200]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Deleted pointless and boring dialogue about why they should pick the delicious fruit

[b] Deleted pointless and boring dialogue about Poison Vultures

[c] Deleted mentions of this dungeon being a ‘mental’ challenge, because, hello? Starvation? Cold? Thirst? You can’t imagine these challenges away!

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence – some extra details that seemed prudent

[9] Switched Mukouda’s telepathy to Fer, because the likelihood of it being Fer is higher.

[a] Switched Fer’s telepathy to Mukouda, because… Fer worrying about food and drink? Excuse me?

[10] Adjusted dialogue about the vastness of the place in a more logical and interesting way.

Comments

Anonymous

That's likely the nastiest set of floors I've seen in novels that involve dungeons. Multiple floors of basically nothing, each with a width of a small continent, and no landmarks or anything to indicate where the next floor is. Probably nothing to indicate where the previous floor was either. I'd rather deal with some of the other, generally more insta death or humiliation traps than this.

Gumihou

Oh yeah, I agree. I think that's what the 17th or 18th level of hell is like according to Chinese lore. Nothingness. The second worse thing is relieving your worst memory over and over again.