C276 Spider-Man (Patreon)

After explaining the plan to Lily, Peter sent her off to the bathroom to get ready for the day and went to entertain his bald guest.

Peter could already hear the rest of the house waking up, so he didn’t bother them.

After all, the grandmas have work and MJ has school.

‘Technically, I have school too...’ Peter thought as he contemplated skipping out on school once again.

...

“So, how has the new and improved Shield been holding up?” Peter asked as he sat across from Fury with his own plate of food.

“Good, we’re just barely functional again.” Fury answered tiredly.

“Have you figured out which of the World Security Council was Hydra?” Peter asked as he hadn’t checked up on them.

“No, I’ve been too busy with Shield and chasing after the remnants of Hydra to even think about visiting my old employers.” Fury says with a smirk.

He seemed to almost enjoy the fact that the group that once bossed him around and made his life difficult was still held in captivity.

“I’m guessing Steve and Peggy are the ones chasing Hydra stragglers down?” Peter receives a nod from his father-in-law.

“Though they were reluctant to leave Mr. Barnes behind...” Fury says.

“How has Bucky been?” Peter asks curiously. “The last time I saw him, he was suicidal and begging Tony to kill him.”

“He’s still in his cell. The same psychologist that worked on Blonsky sees him twice a week. You’ll have to ask Steve or Peggy for more information. I’ve been too busy to look further into it.” Fury explains with shrug. “Now are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing in space?”

“It’s a long story.” Peter was reluctant to get into it.

“Simplify it.” Fury insists.

“Hmm... I turned a group of alien criminals into a functioning crew of heroes for pay and fought Thanos, who might be dead.” Peter explained simply, surprising Fury with the second bit of information.

“Did he have the Tesseract?” He asks hopefully.

Of course, Thanos wouldn’t have the tesseract as Peter was the one that stole it, but he wouldn’t be admitting to anything.

“Not that I saw, but he’s probably still alive so we’ll have another chance to find it soon enough.” Peter technically wasn’t lying.

Just as Fury was about to ask more questions, MJ came strolling into the kitchen in one of Peter’s old shirts, like a short dress.

Since the majority of the house is women, leaving Peter as the only man around, they tended not to care about exposing themselves a little bit.

For instance, MJ is currently wearing nothing but underwear and a shirt.

Although this is normal for her in the morning, MJ instantly froze as she caught sight of her father, who was currently looking at her with a disapproving eye.

“Morning, Beautiful.” Peter says with a smirk as Fury turns to glare at him. “Your dad came to visit.”

“!” His words seemed to unfreeze MJ, who rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find some clothes.

“...” Fury sighs in frustration as he heard Peter chuckle to himself.

...

Once MJ returned, she brought the grannies with her, who were thankfully fully dressed.

‘She must have warned them...’ Peter thought as MJ glared at him while chewing on a piece of bacon.

Due to the surprise visit, everyone but Peter seemed to forget that Fury didn’t know about Lily.

Though that worked perfectly for his plans...

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.” Peter smirks as he enjoys MJ’s glare.

“Shut up.” MJ spat as she rolled her eyes.

“So, how has school been?” Fury started asking the normal absent dad questions.

And while they were all talking, Peter could hear the pitter-patter of little feet rushing down the stairs.

‘It’s show time.’ Peter smirked inwardly as he eyed the door.

Seconds later, the kitchen door swung open and a three-year-old version of Lily came rushing in.

“Mommy!” Lily exclaimed as she rushed up to MJ and jumped into her lap.

“?!” Fury and everyone else were confused and shocked by her appearance.

Even MJ had no idea what was happening.

Though one thing was for sure...

This little girl looked exactly like MJ when she was this age, solidifying the fact that Lily is MJ’s daughter in Fury’s chaotic mind.

“Good morning, Daddy.” Lily separated from her mother for a moment and smiled at Peter.

“Morning, Princess.” Peter smiled back as he peeked over at Fury, who looked like a deer in headlights.

“W-What is...” Fury almost lost it at that moment. ‘This motherf*cker got my daughter pregnant!’

His hands gripped tightly as he glared at Peter with enough killing intent to shake a weaker man.

Thankfully, a child was in the room so he quickly reined himself in.

“Who’s this?” Fury projected a false calmness as he turned to his daughter, who was almost as confused as him.

“This is...” MJ went to explain and froze for a second time that morning.

Explaining Lily’s origins was easy as a 10-year-old because she couldn’t have possibly given birth to her at that age.

But as a 3-year-old the line begins to blur, which is why Peter used the Reality Stone to revert her to this form.

“This is our daughter, Lily.” Peter finishes her sentence, enjoying the moment. “Lily, why don’t you go and give your grandpa a big hug.”

“Okay!” Lily jumps down from her mother's lap and rushes over to stand in front of Fury.

She held her arms up, waiting for him to lift her into his lap.

“...” Fury matched his daughter and froze in place.

“Grandpa?” Lily mutters as her eyes started to tear up. “Do you not like Lily?”

Peter was filled with pride when he saw how great of an actress his princess was.

“N-No!” Fury practically shouted as he scrambled to pick her up. “Grandpa would never... I like... how could I not...”

He sounded so awkward and forced as he tried to pacify the poor girl that Peter and Lily couldn’t contain themselves anymore.

“”Hahaha!”” Peter and Lily broke out into a fit of laughter.

“?” Everyone looked at them in confusion.

Although it took them a moment, the women of the house were the first to understand what was happening.

Peter was f*cking with Fury, again.

“What the f*ck is happening!?” Fury shouted in exasperation.

“Language!” Grace reprimanded him as she reached over to cover Lily’s ears.

“Dad, you can turn me back now.” Lily said as she pecked her grandpa on the cheek and hopped out of his lap. “Being small was fun, but I want to go back to normal.”

“Sure.” Peter snaps his fingers and the 10-year-old Lily returned in an instant.

“That’s better.” Lily nodded as she turned to Fury. “Hello, grandpa. I’m Lily Parker.”

“...” Fury had no idea what was happening, but he knew one thing for certain.

Peter was behind this...

...

After explaining Lily’s origins, Fury’s confusion was instantly cleared up, though that didn’t mean he was happy.

“You stole my daughter's DNA and made a child with it?” Fury glared at Peter, ready to pull his gun at any moment.

“Would you rather I put a bun in her oven?” Peter asks jokingly. “I wouldn’t mind, but the kids at school might say something...”

Hearing his words, Fury couldn’t take it and pulled his dessert eagle from the holster.

“No guns at the table!” Grace glared as she swiftly plucked the gun from his hand before turning to Peter. “And you, stop antagonizing him!”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Peter throws his hands in the air as Grace unintentionally waved the gun in his direction.

“I’ll take that...” May carefully took the gun from her for safety reasons.

“Seriously though, yes I took her DNA without permission and we’ve already talked about it.” Peter says as he looks toward MJ to back him up.

“Yes, and he won’t be taking my DNA again unless I agree, right?” She says pointedly and receives a quick nod. “And although I didn’t know Lily would be entering my life so suddenly, I most certainly don’t regret it.”

MJ reaches over and combed her fingers through Lily’s hair with a fond smile on her face.

“Besides, you’re a grandpa now. You should be happy.” Peter says as Lily smiles adorably in Fury's direction.

“I never said I wasn’t happy...” Fury couldn’t help but be swayed by his granddaughter's cuteness. “She looks just like MJ...”

“I know it’s crazy, isn’t it?” Grace nodded in agreement. “She might as well be a clone.”

“She looks like me too, right?” Peter turns to May for some assistance, though she simply looks away. “Look, she has my ears...”

“...” May refused to speak. ‘If I speak, I am in big trouble...’

(A/N: I like that meme)

“Whatever, I have to head into the tower for some business.” Peter changes the subject with a huff. “Lily, why don’t you have your Grandpa drive you to school today?”

“She goes to school?” Fury asks incredulously.

“Yup, and she kissed a boy yesterday!” Grace exclaimed like an excited schoolgirl.

“!” Fury didn’t look happy about that either...

“Mom, why would you tell him that...” MJ sighed as she saw her father react the same way as Peter.

She wasn’t the only one to notice this either...

‘Maybe an anti-Miles alliance can be formed between us?’ Peter pondered thoughtfully.

After all, they can’t let that kid get away with it...

A/N: 1600 words :)