Ersatz (Part 4) (Patreon)

Christy

Some people thought in words. Others in pictures. Christy’s, however, didn’t process in either the visual or the auditory sense. Christy felt. Her brain took in all of the stimulus of her body and gave it feedback in the form of tactile sensations and raw unfiltered emotions.

She could express herself in words and pictures, of course.  She was good enough at translating the signals her cerebral cortex sent her into words that were understandable to others-it was part of the reason why she often knew what Tyler was saying when his speech skipped a few lines of dialogue down his own internal script- but it was like being bilingual. Just because she spoke multiple languages, didn’t mean she naturally thought in them.

At present, Christy felt incredibly, perhaps indescribably overwhelmed.  The skin between her legs itched and crawled uncomfortably, part because of the cooled urine that had soaked through and dribbled down to her socks, part because of the shame and embarrassment.  

Tyler had been diapered by a crazy giant. She’d needed one of those diapers without any provocation; before it had fully registered that they were in this strange land.  What did that say about her?  Would she have pissed on the motel floor?  The weak link? The liability? Forever the kid playing catch up, even well into their thirties?

That bit of circumstantial and over the top shame failed to’ compare to what had followed. A giant planet? People thinking they were babies? Diapers that couldn’t be removed? Baby furniture big enough to accommodate them and packs of off-brand Huggies with adult looking models on the front?

Too much new data! Way too much! Everything was too familiar and too alien all at the same time.  

Then the old woman let that bomb drop.  

“Welcome to Earth.”

“Earth?!” Christy’s husband yelped from the carpet. “What do you mean ‘Earth’?”

“That’s the name of this planet,” the giant, Gloria, had explained. “Earth.  Why? What’s yours?”

No. This couldn’t be Earth.  It couldn’t possibly be. They were from Earth. That’s where they’d come from.  Such a stupid thing to have to argue. People didn’t have to specify that they were from Earth. Outside of science fiction, Earth was the only place they could be from.

Christy thought she knew everything, but now was being told completely contradictory evidence by someone as though it were common knowledge and common sense.  That and the wet pants and the room full of baby toys made her feel small in a way that she hadn’t felt since kindergarten at the latest.

“That’s impossible,” Brittney said. “There’s no way!”

“What do you mean?” The white haired giantess asked. “Does Earth mean something special where you come from?”  Something was off.  Her voice lilted in subtle ways that the others didn’t seem to pick up on. There was something simple and condescending about it.  Not quite humoring them, but rather playing along.

Christy twitched and shook her head, nervously.  No. Not true. Not quite.

“We’re from Earth.” Drew said plainly. “That’s our home.”

“Hmmm…” the giantess frowned. “Curious. Coincidence?” She opened her mouth just a tad and snapped it shut. A monster trying not to lick its chops? An adult thinking better of saying something?. Or just someone searching for the right words; a thought half formed and let go?  “If we’re from different worlds, why are we speaking the same language? Are you little people from a particularly advanced society?”

Her suspicion didn’t reach her eyes. Getting into character. Playing pretend. Christy’s fingers clenched and her teeth grinded. She was back in school. Elementary school. Back when the teachers knew all the answers and wanted to gently lead you to the right one

“We…” Brittney corrected herself. “I…hadn’t thought of that. So you’re speaking English? Not translating?”

“English?” the big Granny repeated. If Christy had said something like that, the word would have tasted of unfamiliar medicine. But not too unfamiliar. “Is that your language? I like it. It sounds exotic.

“Dimensional travel?” Tyler thought aloud. “Kodos and Kang maybe?”  

Their friends looked at him and then to Christy.  Christy twitched again.  She was having a hard enough time translating her own neural networks, to hell with Tyler right now.

“Sorry,” Tyler corrected himself. “Simpsons joke. I’m nervous.” His otherwise naked body flushed pink. “Any chance you could help me get this diaper off, ma’am?  It’s…stuck”

Drew cut in. “What year is it? Who’s president? What country is this?”

Gloria’s eyes dimmed at the sound of Tyler’s voice and sparkled at Drew’s. Her face, however sank in concern. “You poor things. I’m so sorry. To be so far away from home. I can only imagine how I’d react.”

“We’re fucked.” Christy said. “We’re never getting home.”  And deep down she knew it to be true.

The old giantess looked like her heart was breaking.That much was true, too, deep down. “We don’t know that honey,” she said. Brittney looked like her hackles were about to raise up again but she was politely interrupted.  “Sorry! I know you’re not  babies. You’ve already convinced me.” That too was true, Christy could tell.  “I just call everyone honey. It’s just how I talk.  It’s an old people thing.”

The explanation seemed to satisfy her friends. Christy was trying not to pace like a caged animal.  This felt…off.  Wrong.  And it had almost nothing to do with her wet pants.  Almost.

“Where do we go from here?” Tyler asked. “I’m…I’m…” he let out a quiet yawn. He was tired. The adrenaline from their close encounter was wearing off and the fatigue from their mundane travels previously was setting in.

The giant seemed to ponder carefully.  Every muscle in Chrissy’s body tensed. Fear. Betrayal. Suspicion.  “I think…you should…stay here…?”

Drew asked what Chrissy couldn’t.  “Why?”

Gloria shrugged. “Because I’m not sure what else to do…?”  She shrugged again and rose from the sofa and started slowly pacing.  “Do I call someone? The press? The cops? Some kind of scientist?  No.  I don’t think so.”  

“Why not?” Chrissy voiced. Someone more qualified than a random Granny would be qualified to help. Confusion. Worry. Curiosity.

Tyler scowled. “Do you wanna be on the wrong side of the glass at Area 51? Seriously, hon?”  Despite being diapered, her husband’s rebuke felt even harsher than if it came from Brittney or Drew.  He looked like a big baby. What did that make her if she hadn’t thought that far?

Stupid. Insecure. Silly.  Baby.

Still pacing, Gloria looked down at her sneakers instead of the group. “Who would believe me?” she asked. “Thirty something’s from another world that look like babies? I’d get laughed at before they hung up.”

“How about the mail lady?”  Drew nodded..  “Christy attacked her and bit her face. Do babies do that here?”

Shame. Fear of reprisal. Shyness.  Christy hadn’t thought through her actions. She’d just acted on instinct. Her mouth still tasted vaguely of pennies but only when she thought about it.

Granny giant stopped. “That’s how she got that mark on her face?!.”  She covered her mouth and cursed quietly. Her voice went soft, but the group could still hear every word. “I told her I was looking after you all.  What if she calls child protection services on me? You don’t have parents. I don’t have records like I do for my other children. What would happen to me?”

Guilt. Blood pumping. Christy had done a bad thing. Hurt someone maybe.  Not sure.

“How would she prove it was us?” Christy asked, seeking a solution.

Gloria looked at Christy. Really looked at her.. “Good point.  It’s still my word against hers if it came to that.”  A beat. Christy didn’t like the beat. Didn’t know why. Felt planned. “It’s not like they would ask you to testi…” The giant’s eyes lit up.  She smiled. Beamed.  “I think I might have an idea!”

“What kind of idea?” Brittney asked.  She was already positioning herself in front of everyone, instinctively protective.  The big sister Christy never had.  

Gloria raised her hands up slowly and defensively; a gentle grandma trying not to startle some stray kittens.  The mammoth woman stepped quietly back over to her couch and lowered her back down.  “Hear me out.”.

Four sets of mouths closed.

“Stay here. With me.  You can hide here and disguise yourselves as regular children while we work together to get you home.”  She patted the top of the bag of diapers just in case her meaning was lost.

Hope. Too good to be true. Caution.  The inside of her legs stung and itched looking at the bag..  She hadn’t even worn maxi pads since middle school. The thing around Tyler’s hips looked much thicker than a pad.

Ever practical, Drew was the first to question it. “Why would we need to disguise ourselves?”

The giantess blinked as if the answer was obvious.  She snapped her fingers several times, jogging her memory. “Drew? Right?  This is a daycare. During the week I have children and their parents in and out all day. In before dawn, out after dusk, and everywhere in between.  Do you want to be hiding all the time and have them asking why kids barely old enough to be toddlers are dressed like that?”  She sniffed. “And no offense. I don’t think I have anything else here in your size.  Do you really want to spend the next few days or weeks wearing only…that?”  She levied a finger right at Christy..  “You do change clothes on your Earth, right?”

There was logic. Certainty. Conviction.

Timidly, Tyler raised his hand. “Do we have to u…” he stopped and self-corrected. “These are hard for us to remove.”

Gloria’s smile was gentle.  “If you need help getting to the po….” now it was Gloria’s turn to stop herself. “If you need help making it to the toilet, just tell me and I’ll take you.” A slight rosiness rimmed her cheeks as she realized whom she was talking to.  “And it’s okay if you don’t make it. I have a feeling your bladders are a teensy bit smaller than mine.” She pinched her thumb and forefinger together. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.  I’ll uh…turn on the shower and pop you in if you need it.”

Thoughts were getting harder to translate into words. So tired.  The foam padded floor was looking comfortable. Getting woozy. Adrenaline crash.  “What do we do?” she asked the group, looking at a positively mortified Tyler.
Brittney made the call. She always did.  “We need sleep,” she said, looking fairly haggard herself.

“Okay,” Gloria nodded.  “I have a guest bed in the back of the house. It’ll fit all four of you. It’s Queen size.  What a world where a queen size would fit all four of them.  Good thing she didn’t say ‘crib’.

Silently they conferred and agreed.  “Okay,” Brittney said for them.

Gloria stood up with the package of diapers.  “Let’s go get you changed into your disguise.” She eyed them expectantly, though cautiously.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Brittney started.

The giant’s head pivoted towards Christy. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I know an accident when I see and smell one.”

Caught! Exposed! Tears threatening!  “I…”

“It’s okay honey,” the older woman towering above them said.  “It happens.”

Tyler was wrapping his arms around her in a blink.  “It’s okay,” he whispered in her ear. “It’ll be okay.”

Trying to control herself, Christy hugged him back and looked over his shoulder. Drew raised his hand. “I’ll go first,” he volunteered.  Brittney said nothing but she nodded.  They were getting babied together.  “Just hand me one and I’ll figure out how to put it on and-”

“Me first,” Christy said clearly. “I’ll go first.”  She didn’t want the others to pity her.  Out of all of them, she was the one that literally needed the change.  “Please.”

The giantess took a knee. “Okay honey. Let’s go.” She opened her arm and scooped the woman up.

Panic! Heart beating. High! Too high!  She clung to Gloria. One leg after the other, legs closer to tree trunks hiked over the baby gate.

Alone! Vulnerable!

“Where are we going?” Christy asked. “I thought there was a changing table over there.”

“I thought you’d want some privacy,” Gloria replied.  “Do you want me to change you in front of your little friends?”

Heat. Blushing. Silly. Little. She should have realized that.  “No thank you.”

They said nothing for the approximately ten seconds it took to traverse to the back of the house.  Just odd awkward swallows and a trembling that wouldn’t completely leave Christy’s body.  The powder blue room they stopped by had another baby gate.  Mercifully, it was only so that the big woman could awkwardly lean in and snatch a package of baby wipes.  The beige room across the hall had hardwood floors and a bed with a floral print comforter.  Bed was an understatement. Closer to a bounce house that was high enough off the ground where if she fell off she might break her arm.  A nightstand she could have tap danced on already had a bottle of baby powder the size of a two liter.

Worry. Exhaustion. Paranoia.

“Nothing to worry about,” the woman said as she laid Christy down on her back.  “Nothing at all.”
Christy couldn’t translate her own words quickly enough to prevent what came.  The shirts she’d borrowed from the boys as a makeshift skirt came off along with her soaked pants and panties.

“I’m sorry!” Christy said. “I’m really sorry!”  She buried her hands in her face.

“Nothing to worry about,” Gloria shushed her.  “I’m a Granny and a Nanny. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”  

Cold of an air conditioner.  Goose pimples. The smell of stale urine! Cold! Wet!

“Shower?!” Christy said. “Please?”  Shower! There was supposed to be a shower!

The giantess did not stop.  Every wipe was like a freezing towel being dragged across her privates.  “Maybe after you sleep,” Gloria said.  “You need to get cleaned up and rested.”

Old, long forgotten memories bubbled while the top corner of the diaper package was torn open, her ankles crossed and the biggest diaper she’d ever seen was slipped under her bottom. Tiny, squeaking noises, like a gerbil, came out of Christy while sweet smelling but cold powder snowed across her bottom and on top of her mound.  “Do we have to use the powder?” Christy asked, peeking out from behind her hands.

“Honey,” the granny said. “You’ve been standing in wet panties.  The wipes help, but powder gets rid of the smell.”

Christy’s face felt like it was melting. She turned her head away so she wouldn’t have to look the stranger in the eye. “Hm?!”  Her eyes glimpsed the pack of diapers.  The word ‘Monkeez’ scrawled in colorful bubble letters. A crawling baby smiling back at her from the package.  “Baby?”

Two firm presses just below her abdomen. almost knocked the wind out of her.  Christy looked down.  Just like Tyler, she was now thickly diapered, with bright primary colored baby monkeys tumbling and crawling around beneath her belly button.  “Oh honey,” Gloria shushed her. “You’re not a baby. I know that.  I’m just dressing you up so you look like one.”  Truth. Certainty.  “And I want you to be comfortable.”

In a diaper. Wearing a diaper.  But she was comfortable.  It was a little like wearing a pillow on her butt.. Different. Not inherently bad. But different.

What was familiar and bad was how Christy’s shirt and bra quickly followed her discarded panties next to her on the bed. The woman who had diapered her finished stripping her down to nothing else without a second thought.  Out of reflex and lingering modesty, Christy hid her breasts as best as she could.

“Oh ho,” the woman laughed.  “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Like I said, you don’t have anything I don’t see everyday!” True. The baby on the package looked like a grown woman.  And in comparison, Christy’s petite but perky breasts might as well have been flat next to the big woman.  Her new host took the diapers off the bed, and peeled back the comforter.  “Go ahead. Climb in. I’ll bring the others in one at a time.”

Eyes burning.  Tired. Weary.  Confused.  Christy looked at where the package had been at the foot of the bed; wondering if she’d seen what she’d thought she’d saw.  “Okay…”

Gloria took the baby supplies and Christy’s adult clothes with her.  “Be back in a minute.”

Quiet.  Still. Muscles ache.  Mattress soft. Sleep needed. Only anticipation and the fact that every time she moved a thin crinkling invaded her eardrums kept her awake.

Three minutes.  The granny returned with a blushing Brittney, naked save for her own diaper.  Brittney crawled in beside her beneath the tremendous comforter..  “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” Christy whispered softly, feeling a bit more comfy.

“Didn’t want you to be alone like this.”

“Thanks.”

Gloria remembered to pick up Christy’s wet clothes the second time around.  “Would it really be that insulting to keep the boys in a crib?” she asked. “I don’t want them getting any ideas…”  She sounded like Christy’s mother when her and Tyler started dating.

“They’re our husbands,” Britney said.  “We’re married.”

Pee stained pants balled up in the crook of her arm, Gloria cocked an eyebrow. “All together?”

“Kind of.” Christy yawned. “But not really.”

“We’re two couples,” Brittney clarified. “But we’re all old friends.”

““Oh that’s right,” the old woman smacked her forehead lightly. “You and Drew had the same last name. Sorry. Used to siblings.”  That seemed to settle that. She was on her way out before either girl could interject.  “Back in a second.”

Christy let out a yawn. “Where’d she change you?”  Safer. With family. Relax.

“Bathroom,” Brittney sighed.  “Did she lay you down, too?”

“Yup.”

“Same.” Brittney pulled the comforter up to her neck. “That toilet is huge. We’d have to stand on the rim and squat to use it.”

Footsteps signaled another approach.  Drew was wearing nothing but a Monkeez.  He kind of pulled it off, considering he was still in fairly good shape.  The diaper was just a puffy speedo on him.  Tyler looked the most like a baby out of any of them, proportionately.

Things were quiet until her husband was brought back. He didn’t need changing, but Gloria slipped two fingers into the leg holes of his diaper. “Still dry…” the giantess said.

Exhaustion was winning to attrition.  Brittney remained silent and Tyler only managed a disgruntled ‘Heeeeeeey…”

Gloria was out again as soon as he was tucked.  “One last thing,” was all she said.

“Are we gonna be okay?” Christy asked.

For two eternal seconds there was no answer.  “Yeah.” Brittney said. Lying to herself. She was lying.  “This is weird.  But we’ll get some sleep. Get our clothes washed. Go from there.”

Christy was too tired to argue.

Whisper-talking and half-tip toeing, Gloria came in with four very large bottles filled with something white sloshing inside..  “I thought you’d like some milk,” she said. “ Help you sleep. Keep you hydrated.”

She handed them out.  Four pairs of tired hands accepted them.  Drew fidgeted with the cap to no success.  Christy shook the bottle and saw the bubbles float up to the top.  She popped the rubber nipple in her mouth and suckled.

Warm. Creamy. Filling.  Flavored. Just shy of a pumpkin spice latte. Delicious!

“Sorry about the baby bottles,” Gloria apologized.  “You all looked exhausted, and these are all I have. I have some sippy cups but they don’t hold as much and you can’t drink them lying down.”

“Mmm-mmm-mmm…” Christy said in hum talk, roughly translating to “It’s okay.”  The others took Christy’s enthusiasm to mean it’s safe.

“Okay. I’ll see you all in a few hours.  Get some rest,” Gloria backed out of the room, slowly closing the door with her. “I’ll go online and figure something out.  Call if you need me.”  

Lights out. Quiet. Peace at last save for the rhythm sucking and the odd rustling.  Memories.

“Hey,” she murmured just before nodding out.  “Does this count?”  

No one replied.  Tyler was already snoring.  Brittney was snuggling up next to her but her breathing had slowed.  First in bed. Last in sleep.

No. This didn’t count. Probably not.  They were all diapered, but not all naked.  Diapers had never factored into her silly little fantasy before.  Why should they now?

Christy felt her eyes getting heavy.  She was still suckling down the sweet dessert when she passed out from fullness of belly and a seventeen hour day.  Little did she know that this would be the last time she ever went to sleep, certain that her diaper would be in the same state it started in when she woke up…