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August Monthly Painting - WIP (Patreon)

Published:
2020-08-25 02:28:51
Edited:
2020-08-25 02:29:42
Imported:
2021-01

Content

Looks like we've got a pretty clear winner in the votes, y'all wanted to see " A femboy, already caught on a guy's knot, is rewarded with an orgasm from his mistress. "

So here's what I came up with! I thought it would be fun if she was just barely touching him, letting the knot do most of the work but just giving him that tiniest push over the edge with a single finger.

Patreon can be a bit iffy when it comes to posting bondagey stuff, but I'm hoping the very very mild nature of the bondage and the text prevent this from seeming too close to NC. Just a mistress rewarding a sub for a job well done!

Actually, that's one of the reasons I'm taking the risk on posting this one- I could use some help refining the text. I'm not a writer, and I can't really get quite the feeling I want here. I'm aiming for that sort of kind but slightly condescending tone a dom might use when speaking to their sub, and I think I'm getting that effect, but the "enjoy your reward' bubble falls a bit flat in my opinion. I need some way of saying the same thing but with better... words? I don't have the best words. D:

Open for opinions on improving both bubbles, I'm all ears! Or, maybe you think the picture would be better without any text at all? Let me know! Failing that, I'd also just love to hear what you think of the picture! I'm pretty excited, I think this is gonna be a good one, and I hope y'all feel the same way. :D

Files

Comments

Eddie SanHusky

Maybe something like "You actually managed to take that big knot? How can we reward such a good boy?"

ruaidri
>>42791736

This is one of the things I struggled with- the language has to be very present tense. She can't ask how she's going to reward him because she -is- rewarding him, right in the picture. His reward is splashing all over her leg. x3

Anonymous

Nice. ... Is that a sergal behind him? Anyhow, if you want to go for the maximum 'barely touching but still getting him off' approach, she could her tail. Or the curve of her stomach/thigh/butt. Look at that, letting him cum *on* her, so kind! Dialogue is fine. I just noticed she's in what looks like only a big shirt. Hfff, you spoil us.

ruaidri
>>42791863

Cinnamon is a kind mistress. :P Naw, the guy behind him just a wolf. Needed something with a knot, after all! As for the action, I'm personally pretty happy with it- I wanted it to very clearly visually get the idea across that she's barely touching him, and I think the single finger gets that across. I feel like using other parts of the body it could potentially making it a little harder to tell what's happening. I think, anyway! I couldn't resist the bottomless. I did it on the wolf first, wasn't going to put it on the bunny initially but after fiddling with it it just looked so good I couldn't resist. x3 And I kind of like how having both doms partially dressed makes the bird boy feel even more naked somehow.

Xianyu

'Oh, such a good boy! Taking the knot for me, just like I wanted.' | 'Here's your reward, as promised. Though with how easy you finished I'm wondering if you even needed me~'

Eddie SanHusky
>>42791736

Hmm, true. My head tends to go into the past for things like these. How about "So much! You must love your Mistress for making you take that big knot"

Anonymous
>>42791863

Makes sense. I didn't notice she was a rabbit till I replied, would make using her tail a little tougher. ;) Also didn't notice even the implication of clothes on the wolf. Guess we know where my attention was.

Anonymous

I think the text is great! Not too simple, not to florid.

Bloudin Ruo

Not gonna lie, even though I submitted my own idea, I was very much wanting this one to win. I'm glad to see it made it through and you've given it an awesome scene! As for dialogue, I think the first bubble is perfect. Maybe experiment with a more direct word for 'asked' like 'commanded' or 'ordered', but otherwise I think you nailed that one! The second bubble, I can understand you fishing for something more... Pet-like, if that makes sense? Maybe something like "Here's a little reward," or "Just one small touch...", trying to highlight the fact that all she's doing is giving him the smallest amount of stimulation as a reward for it. Could also go a different route for the second bubble: "Oh! Popped from one stroke..." so that the actual touch is inferred as the reward without it being said, and moving the focus directly to the fact that the little guy got off so easily. Another option is "Oh! That's all it took... Cute"/"Oh! One touch is all it took... Cute" or any variation thereof! I'm happy you're excited about this one, because I know I certainly am! You're gonna kill it, Ru!