VOTE FML DIY #8 DEADLINE JUNE 4 2021 (Patreon)

Here is the top 3 FML DIY submissions! She really enjoyed the submissions, but could only choose 3 and these are her favorites. Congratulations to the top 3 and thank you to all who submitted. 

Checking Me Out    By MrViscom78

Today, a regular customer I see everyday, who always attempts to flirt with me, came through my checkout line. He made weird eyes at me as I scanned his um, Eggplant, Cucumbers, and Bananas....I reluctantly smiled back and asked “You want paper or plastic?” he shot me a creepy grin and replied “Wrap it up, baby girl.” I rolled my eyes so hard, I almost passed out and handed him his receipt. “Thank you, come again.” He responded with “I usually do after dinner. Care to join me tonight?” I said “Dude. For the last time. You're my cousin! I'm not sleeping with you! Now, go away. I'm working. I'll see you at the reunion.” ….FML

When The Moon Hits Your Eye   By Tito Mac (patreon)

Today, is a ME day. Between my two full time jobs, this is the first full day off I've had in over a month!  So, I decided to catch up on laundry. I managed to fit all of my clothes into one load. As I walked into my bathroom, I was startled the plumber was here working on my shower! Okay, I guess I'm washing this pair of underwear too. So, I threw on my old pajama pants, which are too big on me now and added my newly soiled undies to the wash, which then decided to break down! I asked the Plumber if he could take a look at it and offered to share a pizza with him. Later, when the pizza arrived, I ran to the front door, holding up my pants and opened it to my PLUMBER holding a pizza! He chuckled and said “Even plumbers have side hustles.” As he handed me the pizza, my pants fell down, which I hadn't noticed until I turned around, and tripped over them...Blinding him with my very white and very full moon...He said “That's amore!”  ….FML

A Dog Walk To Remember  By James Castro

Today, while walking my dog, I spotted my ex-boyfriend walking toward me. Not wanting to talk to him, I wanted to duck out of the way before he spotted me...but my DOG had other plans and PLANTED himself in the ground determined to smell this one stupid spot!! I tugged, dragged and pulled the leash, but he's a big dog and I couldn't get him to budge...So I said hi to my ex, which turned into a long winded one sided conversation... Bad dog!...FML