Entrepreneurial Spirit - Chapter 2 (Patreon)

I cocked my head as I felt the chime go off.

“What's up?” Jonah asked, catching my movement as he reloaded his rifle before setting it aside and starting on the pair of pistols.

“New customer,” I replied absently, feeling out the presence. “You okay if I leave you here?”

The newly-shaven man nodded, his worn clothing nevertheless clean now. “No problem, Nova. Thanks again for the bath and everything. The four-wheeler will be a huge help out-running the zombies and more ammo is always welcome.”

I shrugged and nodded to the paintings now set up for pricing. “You're welcome anytime, Jonah. Especially when you bring me original Warhols. I'll put the rest on credit, okay?”

He chuckled. “Sure, sure. I know you're good for it. Mind if I bring the wife and kids by next week? Birthday’s coming up and Mary could use some pampering.”

“Whenever you like. You know your way around well enough I don't need to supervise,” I nodded. “I'll see about making a few things complimentary.”

“You're the best, Nova,” Jonah grinned, shaking my hand before returning to his work.

“You aren't so bad yourself, Jonah. Be careful out there, it's a dangerous multiverse,” I answered back, opening the nearby door and leaving one section of the store for another.

The area I emerged into was a long alleyway cast in deep shadows thrown by harsh neon. Stalls set up here and there offered all sorts of magazines, cheap merchandise, comics, food and drinks from multiple worlds... it was a cacophony of random items at affordable prices. All of it rested on the lower-end of what I usually sold, which told me that the person who'd just found their way here wasn't exactly rolling in dough.

Hopefully, Mark would be back soon. Time could be a bit wonky here, though, so it was entirely possible that I'd experience a year before he would wake up the following day, realize everything had actually happened, and decide to pay me another visit.

I hoped not, Mark was fun, but it had happened before.

It was best not to dwell on it, though, and just go with the flow.

Locking eyes on my newest customer, I felt my eyebrows rise as I saw just who had stumbled their way in through the doorway this time. “Hey, there!”

A skittish green-haired boy flinched at my call, his eyes growing wide as he took in my luminescent hair, eyes, and tail. I'd felt like blue today and swapped accordingly.

“Ahhh hi! I'm sorry, it's just there was a door and I opened my closet, but instead of my closetitwasthisalleywayand-” I held up a hand as the rambling predictably began.

He stopped and fell silent, looking at me with obvious trepidation.

“It's nice to meet you, Izuku. My name is Nova Sterling. You've found your way into a magical store between realities where you can buy anything and everything you could ever want or need.” He opened his mouth again, but I didn't let him ask the question I knew he was going to. “No, I'm not crazy. This isn't a quirk, but you can call it one if you feel like it will give you more context to the situation. I just got done selling ammunition and a vehicle to a man who's world is going through a zombie apocalypse. I expect to hear from another man who's stranded on his universe's planet Mars soon.”

I snapped my fingers and a pair of chairs appeared outside one of the alley stalls, one of which I claimed for myself and the other I offered to him. “Now, I'd like it if we could continue the conversation under the pretense that neither of us are insane, this is not a dream, it's really happening, and we both have limited time. Questions?”

Izuku blinked at me for a long moment, then slowly sat down. “Uhh... why my closet? A-and how do you know my name? I-if that isn't rude, Sterling-san.”

I nodded. “It didn't need to be your closet. Just any doorway anywhere when you were feeling the right amount and kind of desire. That's what opens the door to my shop initially. After that, if you want to become a repeat customer, I give you a charm that lets you open the gateway again.”

Izuku nodded, his gaze intent now as he cradled his chin in one fist and began mumbling. “A-and my name?”

I pursed my lips. “Hmm... that's harder to explain, so I'll just go with 'reasons.'” I held up my hand again when he opened his mouth to object. “It's something like an enchantment to tell me who comes into my store, okay? That's the easiest explanation for now.”

Izuku stared at me for another long moment, then nodded slowly, mumbling away to himself.

In the meantime, I grabbed both of us a drink and slid him one before sipping at it.

Soon enough, Izuku snapped out of his fit and I raised an eyebrow expectantly. He blushed, grinning. “Ah, s-sorry, I do that sometimes. I know it's c-creepy.”

“There are worse habits to have,” I waved him off. “But if you want to do something about it, I might be able to fix your mumbling for you.”

His eyes shot wide. “You c-can!? No, wait, if you're being honest and this is really some kind of magical shop or weird quirk you might really be able to-” He cut himself off, his expression firming with a fragile hope. “D-does that mean you can sell me a quirk?”

I took a deep breath, having known this question was coming, and said-

…

“No.”

Izuku felt his heart sink and his eyes water even as he began mentally and emotionally kicking himself. He'd known it was too much to hope for. All Might had tried his best to be gentle when he'd told the young man that his dream was just that, a dream. The fact that the greatest hero in Japan had taken the time to both save him and then answer his question was testament to how much weight Izuku ought to give that same answer.

Just as he opened his mouth to thank the... man? Spirit? He was about to thank Nova for his time, but the older person interrupted him.

In the back of his mind, Izuku wondered if that was a habit of his.

“I can't sell you a quirk, but I can sell you something else,” Nova replied.

Izuku's breath caught in his throat. “S-something else?”

Maybe Nova could do something about his stutter, as well?

“I can sell you... let's see...” Nova paused thoughtfully, cocking his head and taking a sip of his soda. Belatedly, Izuku uncapped and sipped his own. The unfamiliar flavor of vanilla and chocolate hit his tongue and he almost choked out of surprise, but... Swallowing, a pleasantly light aftertaste hit him and he looked at the label. Chocolate soda? Huh.

“The kind of high-end cybernetics you would need would require maintenance and repair, although she could do something about that.” Nova commented, seemingly to himself, though Izuku wondered who 'she' was. “The real hurdle is the expense.”

“Cybernetics?” Izuku asked, frowning. “Doesn't that mean you'd need to, um... put things inside me?” If it meant he could be a hero, he'd be willing to try anything, but the thought made him queasy.

One neon blue eyebrow arched. “Not a fan?”

In response to the resulting headshake, Nova frowned further. “Non-invasive, then. That's rather limiting for my current stock. I have a few C and B-class X-genes I extracted, but those come with heavy mutations.”

Izuku felt himself make another face and Nova, obviously picking up on it, sighed. Izuku winced. Here this guy was trying to help him and Izuku was complaining. Still, the image in his mind... the perfect ideal of All Might... It wasn't as though he had anything against mutant quirks. Some of them were interesting. It's just that it was hard to rank on the hero charts with a mutant quirk if it wasn't visually appealing and relatively minor. Mirko came to mind as the prime example. The newcomer, Hawks, was another go-to proving the point.

Nova clapped his hands and Izuku blushed as he realized he'd been mumbling again. Darn.

“Alright,” the fox-man stated, pausing to punctuate the exclamation. “I think it's better to ask about what you actually want, kid, rather than me throwing ideas out. So, Izuku, you want a superpower. Will just any old power do or does it need to be something specific?”

The hero fanboy nibbled on his bottom lip. “I, uh... I want to be strong. Like All Might-I mean, not like All Might! No one could be like All Might, but just-strength. A strength quirk would be more than enough.”

Nova hummed loudly. “And you're how old? I forgot to ask. Some of the options don't play well with developing bodies.”

“Fourteen,” Izuku replied instantly.

Nova leaned back, his eyes canted skyward slightly in thought. “Yeah, probably best we don't do cybernetics, then. Especially Cyberpunk's versions. Discounting everything else, installing too heavily can stunt your growth. So... moving away from that angle, how about magic? I could use that stock of re'em blood, though that has a high fatality chance-” Izuku steeled himself at the mention of possible death. If it was for his dream... “-but I also have pheonix tears, too... but that boost is usually long-term temporary and very expensive. Hmm.”

Neon blue eyes snapped to Izuku. “Budget?”

Izuku couldn't help but wince this time, thinking quickly of his savings account, the money in his All Might piggy bank, a few things he could sell... and maybe ask his mom for an extension on his allowance? After a moment's hesitation, Izuku quoted what he secretly felt was a much too-optimistic number for his personal finances. Maybe Nova would let him pay on a plan, though? That was a thing people did for big purchases like cars and houses, right/ Buying a quirk should count.

Nova inhaled through his teeth. “For that price... and a line of credit on a payment plan, I might be able to get you into one of my lower-end power armors.”

There was that sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, again...

He tried to be optimistic, though. He tried hard. There were heroes that used power armor! Just look at Power Loader! It wasn't what he wanted, but he could make it work if necessary.

“Another factor is time,” Nova stated idly, his tone considering. “I'll need a certain amount down for whatever you want, to prove you're good for it, but does this need to be immediate or...?”

Izuku rubbed his chin and narrowed his eyes. “UA exams for next year's class intake is in... um, eleven months, I think? One mon-no, two weeks. I'd need that to practice, but I could save up until then! Or, um, I could work in the store and help out?”

The hopeful question made Nova look him over, up and down. “Hmm... I prefer girls for that.” Izuku blinked. “They pull double duty, see?”

Izuku did not, in fact, see.

“Bedroom duty,” Nova explained with a wry grin.

Izuku blushed nuclear red and sputtered wildly. “Th-bhuw-I-I mean th-that's illegal! Or unethical! Or something!”

Nova snorted and jerked a thumb the way Izuku had come. “The laws of man and gods alike stop at that door, Izuku. You might want to be a hero, but I'm just a generally-nice capitalist willing to accommodate alternative payment methods.”

Izuku chewed on that admission for a long moment, looking up at his host from behind green bangs. “You... can't you just give stuff away? Not like everything, but I can promise to pay you back when I'm an important hero!”

Nova chuckled, smiling. “Ah... the 'I'll pay you back when I make it big' promise. That one was old when Gene Starwind used it.” The fox-man's smile faded. “Sorry, kid. There are big 'M'-magic rules going on here. The goods and services I offer must be exchanged for something at least approaching comparable reimbursement. I'm bending over backwards already trying to find a good way to meet your needs. I mean, outside of a Bargain Bi-”

Nova closed his mouth so abruptly Izuku thought he might have bitten his tongue off for a moment. Slitted blue eyes glowed in the dim alleyway light as the fox-man stared at him.

Izuku whetted his lips. “Barga-”

“Nope!” Nova clapped his hands again, the sound startling Izuku into silence. “Forget I said that! What the fuck, am I channeling Hagrid today? Ugh...”

…

Oh boy, I'd really done it now!

Izuku stared at me, curiosity and suspicion warring on his face. “You said something about bargains?”

I twitched and fought the urge to physically run away from this conversation. “Ahhh... damn it, kid. You really should forget I said that.”

The teen visibly chewed on the advice before speaking. “Is it something that's like a strength quirk?”

I groaned aloud and sat my soda down to rub at my face. Behind, above, and through me the metaphysical weight of The Rules put pressure on me. If I knew something might interest a customer I could usually steer them away from it by simple virtue of not mentioning it, but The Rules grew more insistent the more direct the customer was about the matter. “Ugh... okay, look. There's a bunch of stuff I have in back that I get as part of blind-blind procurement deals. Think of it like those stupid reality television shows where people show up to buy storage units and hope they hit it big.”

The multiversal hypercorps were always looking to offload the assorted crap dead agents happened to have lying around and, when I was feeling especially crazy, I placed a bid on a few.

There were a few diamonds in that rough.

But there was also a great deal of rough.

“I think I understand,” Izuku stated slowly, frowning. “So... the stuff doesn't work?”

I made a stricken face. “If only. No, the stuff works, it just... well, I should say it 'functions' to be precise. The difference being that the first does what it says it will do and the second does something, just not what you'd expect.”

“But... they are qui-er, I mean, powers?” Izuku asked intently. “And... I'd be able to buy them.”

I smiled in as painful a manner as I could. “Okay, Izuku. This is what I recommend, ready?”

His head bobbed to show he was hearing the words coming out of my mouth, but his eyes were distracted enough to show he wasn't listening to what I was saying. I decided to try anyway. “I can write you up a ten year work contract.” He opened his mouth to object, my opening line startling him out of his brain fog, but I pushed forward. “The whole time-space thing gets kind of wonky, and that's a technical term, with my shop. You'll work a year here, go back for a month to your work, work another year for me and so on. When ten months are over, you'll have ten years experience running errands for me on some moderately dangerous worlds, you'll have worked up enough store credit to buy a really nice suite of powers, and I'll even throw in teaching you a school of magic as a signing bonus.”

The teen hummed, worrying his lip again. His eyes flicked to mine. “What's... the other option?”

My shoulders slumped and I sighed. Scowling at the kid, who flinched, I downed my drink in one smooth motion before chucking it into a nearby bin and stood. “Alright, brat. You asked for it.”

“I-I'm sorry!” Izuku cried, ducking his head. “I just... I should know all my options before I make a choice, right!”

“Normally I would say that's good common sense,” I replied, throwing an irritated look over my shoulder at the boy. “However, you'll soon learn why that doesn't apply in this case.”

The green haired teen followed me through a backdoor and down a long hallway that was completely bare of anything save the stark gray of concrete. Neither of us said anything further as we walked the hundred feet down the corridor before stopping at a heavy metal door, which bore a large wheel-lock like one would find on a naval vessel. Turning it, I once again reflected how I'd made the correct choice in specifically turning off the warped landscape of the shop when it came to this specific region.

I didn't want anyone to accidentally wander in here.

“Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Wish For Bargains.”

I turned towards Izuku with a level stare as we entered the secure area, the interior full of stark white paneling and small displays set behind hardened transparent displays. I'd say 'glass,' but these panes were required to be a bit more durable than that.

“Whoa...” Izuku breathed, looking around at the various pieces of barely-contained esoteric power.

“First up we have a Glitched Gamer System.” I directed his attention to what seemed to be a CD hanging in mid-air behind a barrier. Every few seconds it would twist out of shape in an eye-bleeding shift of form into digital static. “Normally, gamer systems are a specific subset of superpowers that let you treat the world like a video game. This includes, but is not limited to: giving you HP instead of natural bodily wounds and physical trauma, allowing you access to an pocket dimension that serves as an inventory for personal items, keeping track of proficiencies in various skills and ability, dropping loot when you beat an enemy, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Most relevant to your concerns is that it quantifies your physical and mental characteristics in stats. You can earn points to raise those stats. So while the gamer system won't make you immediately stronger, you can eventually get superhumanly strong by just doing basic exercises over and over again and earning points as you level up completing quests.”

Izuku's eyes were wide as he appreciated the utter brokenness that was a gamer.

“Unfortunately,” I stated, busting his bubble. “This version glitches.”

“G-glitches?” Izuku asked, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Think of the worst video game you've ever played,” I replied patiently. “Or seen someone play. Or heard of them playing. Maybe you're walking down the street one day and the Instant Dungeon module of your power malfunctions causing you to partially phase through a wall. Maybe your inventory is broken and, when you remove things from the pocket dimension, instead of just dropping it in your hand, it fires whatever it is out at fifty miles per hour.” I looked at him. “Or kilometers or whatever if you hate freedom.”

“That doesn't sound so bad...” Izuku stated, then grimaced. “Or, at least, it's kind of manageable?”

“Those are the tame glitches,” I stated. “I've heard horror stories about your stats not working properly and doing really weird shit to your body when you try to upgrade them. Or the party system just outright brainwashing people you add to your group and turning them effectively into NPCs. None of that is even touching on all of the other stuff that could instantly kill you if it glitches during combat.”

Izuku shivered. “Are all of these like that?”

I turned to him with a deadpan stare. “Oh no,” I denied, letting hope blossom for a moment before ruthlessly killing it. “The next ones are much worse.”

Izuku squeaked in dismay.

Then a teddy bear leaped at the next display and he screamed like a little girl.

“SCP 1048, the Builder Bear,” I replied venomously, glaring at the damned thing as my two tails swished angrily behind me. “It's a sentient teddy bear that dismembers human bodies and builds duplicates of itself that then attempt to attack and consume other humans.”

Izuku stared at me, horrified. “Why do you keep that around!?”

“Because I haven't found anything that can kill it yet,” I replied, my eyes narrowed at it. “It played dumb when I bought the lot it was in, then escaped into the store. I spent months tracking that little asshole down. I'm still waiting for someone fighting a suitably evil tyrannical regime or an infestation of xenomorphs so I can unload it on them.”

“What's a xeno-” Izuku began, but I shook my head and dragged him over to the next display, which held two glass cylinders with metal caps on either end safely encased in an energy field even behind the hardened starship-window material. Within each of the cylinders was a double-helix of blue liquid.

“The T-Virus,” I stated unceremoniously. “An extremely powerful mutagen that can, when properly applied to a receptive host, grant the individual superhuman strength, speed, regeneration, senses, and low-level psychic powers.” I paused for effect. “If it doesn't kill you, which it almost certainly will. And if it kills you, you'll almost certainly rise from the grave as an animate corpse ready to infect others and turn them into animate corpses as well.”

“Anim-is this what started that zombie apocalypse you told me about?!” Izuku asked in horror, backing away from the cylinders.

“Oh no, that was probably voodoo,” I waved him off. “This stuff is much worse. Used carelessly it'll cause a total global ecological collapse.”

“A-anything else?” Izuku asked, torn between hope and despair.

I sighed and we continued walking through the Bargain Bin. There were a few cursed weapons, most of which didn't really fit his criteria, although an epic vampiric sword with the soul of a greater demon bound to it would do the job if he was desperate enough. I also had a copy of the Necronomicon secured down here, which had rituals that would bestow bodily enhancements... at the cost of various parts of your mind, body, and soul. Again, that would fit the textual definition of what Izuku wanted, but in a very Monkey's Paw kind of way.

“Last on the list,” I gestured to the final object sitting on a pedestal behind its secure containment barrier.

“Another book?” Izuku asked timidly, likely traumatized by this point. Still, he couldn't say I hadn't warned him. “I-is this one bound in hu-human skin, too?”

“No,” I admitted, and he relaxed slightly. Good, he was learning. I looked back to the perfectly white binding of the book in question, a simple small 'W' in basic black font on the front. “This is a power called 'Wiki Warrior.' It's... well, it's somewhat like the Gamer System, but it plugs into the Akashic Record instead of reality. Essentially, it will manifest anything that's been recorded by human knowledge from any world at any time.”

Izuku was silent, staring at the book with me. “W-what... what's the catch?”

“It's completely random.”

He blinked, turning to stare at me now. “What?”

I shrugged. “You could give yourself super strength or you could summon a T-Rex. Maybe call up a famous astronomer from a few centuries ago or get a set of media that's your favorite series except from a reality where pornography is the highest form of art imaginable. Maybe a sentient alien life form that wants to destroy human civilization or a disease that was last seen when humans hunted wooly mammoths. Turn the interior of your apartment into the Valles Marineris or get really lucky and turn yourself into a literal capital-g 'God.'”

“Oh,” Izuku nodded, slowly understanding the scope of what I was suggesting.

“But that was just today,” I stared at him, driving the point home. “Tomorrow? That'll probably be really interesting.”

The green-haired teen twitched.

Now he understood the true horrors of the Bargain Bin.

~
Ugh.  This week has just been a mess.  Slight illness, bad weather, extremely busy, power outage... just not conducive to writing at all.

That said, I've almost got The New Ron done as well and hope to have it out in a day or two, but it needs to be more carefully plotted than this random bullshit.  So I hope it holds you over.

Stay warm, everybody.