The OP Lich is a Returnee, Book 9 Prologue (Patreon)

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Magical World Disharmony Server, General Chat)

UsualSuspect, manoutoftime, muon, MewTwo, Avariel, Chummer, Golddigger, CrazyCelt, Blaze, DoYouEvenLyft?, MarcoPolo, MightMakesRight, MacD, Inquisitor, OrangeQueen, Lizard, RedFox, SemiSolidSnake, BabyShark, Lichwatcher, Not_the_Face!, Scholar, Salty, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, Anonymous7, Anonymous9, TheLichQueen, WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot, DigDug, Backlog, DarkAvariel, Knocker, GrimDark, BloodForTheBloodGod, BackDat@55Up and DarkAngel are in the chat.

DigDug: Damn! Did you guys see the reports out of Salem?

Lizard: What, the specs on the new line of custom-designed CADs by MagiTech? Yeah, they’re all right.

DigDug: All right? All right?!? The ZR13s are showing a ten percent increase in cast speed and a five percent increase in efficiency over the old ZR-12 models! That’s huge!

Lizard: Is it, though? I mean, sure, it is probably good for the Americans, but I’m more interested in the testing supplies coming out of Phantomline.

Scholar: Yes, the testing supplies, along with ‘mana cultivation guides’. This sounds like LQ’s doing.

TheLichQueen: That’s because it is. I’ve started spreading the teachings of the other world. Starting with Japan, China, and the United Kingdom, but testing supplies are making their way around the world, now, giving people a chance to jump-start their cultivation.

RedFox: How much good will that do them without some form of formal training?

TheLichQueen: Oh, about as much as giving high school students a chemistry lab with no directions on what to do and no supervision. Something good could come of it, or someone may do something stupid.

BackDat@55Up: Sounds dangerous.

TheLichQueen: Eh, there’s no real danger in growing your mana pool, or in using the testing supplies. The only danger comes from people who then try to experiment without any training or guidelines. A bicycle is not inherently dangerous, but someone deciding to start doing downhill racing or tricks on a BMX bike without training is going to find themselves in a world of hurt.

Not_the_Face!: True enough. So, what do these testing supplies do?

TheLichQueen: Well, once you have begun cultivating your mana pool, the supplies will tell you your element, and the style of magic use that best suits you, whether it be the Mage’s Path or the Warrior’s Way.

Scholar: And after finding that out, how would they train?

TheLichQueen: Well, there are books with the basics of both Warrior and Mage cultivation available through Phantomline. It won’t be as effective as having a dedicated teacher, but one can at least rise to Novice level through self-training. After that point, you really ought to find someone to train you, to keep bad habits from forming. A dedicated trainer would also know what to look for to keep people from doing anything too dangerous.

DigDug: And how would one get a trainer?

TheLichQueen: For an American? They’d first need to renounce their US citizenship and move abroad. For people in countries that haven’t pissed me off? Ask your governments to get in touch with me, and we may be able to work out a trade deal, similar to the one I have with the UK.

OrangeQueen: Impressive sales technique.

TheLichQueen: Well, one should always be on the lookout for opportunities, no?

Lichwatcher: Speaking of on the lookout, our favorite lich was spotted in China! There are pictures of her with the Emperor himself! They spent almost four whole days together, in the museum with all those clay warriors!

Salty: Ooh, international intrigue? Or perhaps this is the start of something spicier?

BabyShark: The Lich Queen and the Emperor? Oh, yeah, I ship it! Quick, someone get to work on some doujinshi!

MacD: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there is already some Rule 34 of that. In both LQ’s ‘human’ and ‘lich’ forms. And not just of her and the Emperor!

Inquisitor: Oh, who else?

MacD: There’s also ones of her and the King of England, one where she goes full dominatrix on the Russian President, and a harem story with her and her apprentices.

TheLichQueen: Yes, the authors certainly have interesting imaginations. However, some of the ones were in very poor taste, and those artists can be expecting ‘visits’ soon.

Inquisitor: So, if the harem story about you and your apprentices wasn’t over the line, what was?

TheLichQueen: The ones involving me and my family. Suffice to say, I was not a fan.

Inquisitor: Ah, yes. That’ll do it.

TheLichQueen: So, once I find the artists, I’ll have a little chat with them about good taste.

MacD: And if they don’t listen?

TheLichQueen: Then the ghouls will see how good they taste.

GrimDark: Note to self: do not mess with the Lich Queen’s family. It can be bad for your health.

Lichwatcher: So, if you weren’t on a romantic rendezvous with the Emperor, what were you doing with all those clay warriors?

TheLichQueen: Well, I don’t suppose there’s any harm in telling you bits and pieces. On a recent business trip, I found out some interesting information. One thing led to another, and I went and asked for permission to take a private tour through the necropolis where the Terracotta Warriors were buried. The Emperor, for reasons of his own, decided to join me on the excursion.

Scholar: Yes, but as fascinating as Chinese history is, four days is a little long for taking in the sights of the Terracotta Warriors.

TheLichQueen: Of course. But it was a relatively short time for dealing with what we found, beyond all the defenses that had been dormant for so long.

DarkAvariel: I am almost scared to ask, but what was it that was down there?

TheLichQueen: A secret hidden since the time magic left our world.

Scholar: Wait, ‘LEFT’ our world? You mean, magic was real in the past, before the Awakening?

TheLichQueen: Did you think it was a coincidence that every culture around the world had some record of magic or mysticism in its earliest days? Or that some of those mystic rites, when done today, produce results? Oh, and don’t forget the stories of creatures like dragons, which transcend cultures.

Scholar: So, all of that was real, and then… what, disappeared? What happened?

TheLichQueen: Hmm, I think I’ll keep that a secret for a while longer.

Scholar: AAARGH!

OrangeQueen: You’re evil, LQ. Winding up the poor scholar and then leaving him hanging. I love it!

Lichwatcher: We’ll keep track of the LichQueen’s movements as best we can, Scholar! But she doesn’t like paparazzi getting too close.

UsualSuspect: I can’t imagine why. </sarcasm>