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Yes, it is time for some Trade Chat!


Prologue – Trade Chat

(Magical World Disharmony Server, General Chat)

UsualSuspect, manoutoftime, muon, MewTwo, Avariel, Chummer, Golddigger, CrazyCelt, Blaze, DoYouEvenLyft?, MarcoPolo, MightMakesRight, MacD, Inquisitor, OrangeQueen, Lizard, RedFox, SemiSolidSnake, BabyShark, Not_the_Face!, Scholar, Salty, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, Anonymous7, Anonymous9, TheLichQueen, WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot, DigDug, Backlog, DarkAvariel, Knocker, GrimDark, BloodForTheBloodGod, BackDat@55Up and DarkAngel are in the chat.

OrangeQueen: They’re saying the dragon was the size of a World War II battleship!

Scholar: Some tourists managed to get pictures when it teleported into the Ellipse. The Ellipse is 322m long, and 275m wide at its widest. The dragon fit in both dimensions. Barely, but it did fit. Looking at video from Channel 4’s traffic helicopter, which was able to film the dragon as it circled over the National Cathedral, which has known dimensions, we can estimate that the dragon was approximately 250m long, and had a wingspan that was a little wider.

TheLichQueen: 256m long, and 260m wingspan, actually. But you did good work getting that close from that brief video.

UsualSuspect: LQ! How are you not in jail? I mean, glad you’re here and all, but how are you not in jail? Just blasting the windows of the White House would be enough to have Uncle Sam after you. But blasting CIA headquarters?

TheLichQueen: And how, exactly, are they going to put me in jail? Send the police, or the FBI, to my home?

UsualSuspect: Well, uh, yeah. That’s what they normally do.

TheLichQueen: That would only work if I decided to ‘go quietly’. And I would only be in jail for as long as it took me to get bored. There is no prison in this world that could hold me, unless I allowed it to. And there is no force that could take me into custody, unless I let them.

DarkAngel: You’re not worried about them sending some SEAL team or the like after you?

TheLichQueen: They can try. However, from how easily I defeated their so-called ‘elite’ MAGIC group, I doubt that would end well for them.

Backlog: Just how powerful ARE you?

TheLichQueen: Well, the largest single attack spell I used was near the end of the War. The Fortress Town of Doldara was located in the Ydarine Pass. The Demon King spent years setting up wards, ensuring that you could not pass over the mountains, save through that pass, for that was the last stronghold before one entered the land of Haerth, where he reigned.

TheLichQueen: The Battle of Ydarine Pass took six days and nights of constant fighting, but, at last, my legions destroyed the fort at the base of the pass, opening the way to the fortress town.

TheLichQueen: However, it was guarded by a mighty shield, with its roots sunk into the very mountain itself. It was designed to withstand an entire army’s worth of magical bombardment. And trying to attack the city itself through that shield was pure folly.

Scholar: Well, obviously you won, since you’re here, so how did you do it?

TheLichQueen: I concentrated roughly eighty-five percent of my full power into a single, cataclysmic spell. Even the simplest spell can be terrifying, with enough force behind it. I took the simple Explosion spell, one of the first spells any mage learns, and poured my power into it, overpowering it to a degree that none had ever dared try before, even with ritual magic.

TheLichQueen: My army, gathered at the base of the pass, watched as I launched that spell at the shield. And they saw as the Fortress Town simply ceased to be, along with much of the mountain. Thankfully, the angle made it so that most of the debris fell into Haerth.

TheLichQueen: At any rate, the resulting canyon was five kilometers in width, and my army had to descend into it, rather than climbing up the pass.

Backlog: Holy shit.

Scholar: That makes the bombs used on Hiroshima and Nagasaki look like firecrackers!

Knocker: So, um, what did the CIA do to deserve that kind of visit? So I know what NOT to do!

TheLichQueen: They have been trying to steal my secrets. First, by pressuring those I have business with. Then, by attempting to place tracking devices on the vehicles my employees at Athelian Arms use. And they even had the gall to send a team to try and steal materials from the home base of the SAS in the UK. So, I went over there, made a bit of a mess to ensure that I had their attention, and politely asked to speak to the manager.

muon: You’re kidding. You didn’t seriously Karen them?

TheLichQueen: I admit, the looks on the faces of the people at the security desk were priceless.

Anonymous3: What then?

TheLichQueen: Then? I had a nice little chat with the CIA director, where I made sure that he knew I was quite upset with him, and that, if I had to come back, I would make what I did to the New Soviets look like child’s play.

Anonymous7: Is this about that gas leak at the KGB headquarters?

TheLichQueen: Oh, is that the story they’re giving? How amusing.

Anonymous7: What really happened, then?

TheLichQueen: The Russian government attempted to kidnap my sister, to use as leverage against me. The team that did it is alive, because they had the sense to not harm her, even if they had to follow orders, and because they told me everything they knew. I then proceeded to get a bit angry with the Russians.

Blaze: They’re saying that Uladimov Base caught fire, as well.

TheLichQueen: More like one of my legions marched on the base, slaughtered all they found, and burned the entire place to the ground, before I raised all the fallen as undead, and cursed the land, so that it will be a century before even grass will grow on that land, and it will be even longer before it is safe for humans.

TheLichQueen: While this was going on, I had some of my forces go to Moscow, in two teams. One team eliminated KGB headquarters, killing all they found, and destroying all records and documents they could, including both digital and hard copies. The other team paid a visit to the Premier, and informed him, in no uncertain terms, that I would be watching him from now on, and anything he did that I disapproved of would be most unhealthy for him.

GrimDark: Damn. So, you just went up to two major powers, and publicly threatened them? Forget brass, or even steel, you’ve got TITANIUM balls, LQ!

Backlog: And you’re not worried about retaliation?

TheLichQueen: No. A nuke would only make my army stronger. And as for economic pressure? With the products Phantomline is rolling out, and Athelian Arms, not to mention the training I’ve given to those who have asked politely and been willing to trade for it, they will only make themselves weaker, as countries like Japan, China, Germany, and the UK grow stronger. I spoke with my father, and he has already agreed to halt all sales of Phantomline’s new products in the US and Russia, and focus on demand in Europe and Asia instead.

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot: Fuck. The whole damn world just changed, hasn’t it?

Comments

Demian Buckle

Thank you for another great Trade Chat.

Neruz

The world changed awhile back, you're only just noticing now. But that's normal; most people are slow to notice that sort of thing.