Bad News + Goodbye Upfront (Patreon)

(If you cannot be bothered to read I'm asking you all to UNPLEDGE and then FOLLOW my page)

Hi everyone.

There comes a time in everyone life when we receive bad events, we've all had it. What I've found is how you respond to these things which ultimately affect you and your standing as a person.

As some of you may know the computer upgrade I got in January has been bringing me a lot of problems. In the first week alone it gave me BSOD errors. After uninstaling Zonealarm security the errors stopped for bout 1-2 weeks. Then it happened again with the automatic instillation of the old October creators update for Windows 10, I rolled back to an earlier restore point and disabled automatic updates via editing the services.msc files.

For both the PC Emily and Happy Honeymoon vids I was close...very close as you will see from the release dates to being delayed. But my brand, my professionalism IS my reputation. The errors have started to happen again. I'm writing this in safe mode with networking to get this out in case it blue screens me again. I ran SFC /Scannow command, I ran chkdsk F/ R/, I've rolled back to earlier restores points and then I ran Windows Memory Diagnostic, according to that I have issues with the memory hardware. I've soldiered on for the last few months but now I have no option and have sent an email to cyberpower (the guys I got the PC off) to request it be repaired, replaced or refunded.

Obviously this means that for the first time in 2 YEARS & 1 MONTH I may not be able to meet a deadline I set. It would be easy to bury my head in the sand, to do a SIMBRO and take your money and give nothing back. I REFUSE to do that. So I'm giving you this upfront.

My previous laptop is gone, and this PC is wonderful when it works. I've learned so much about errors and computer DOS commands than I thought I would (always positive right?). But with the computer BSOD every 20 minutes or so and me being unable to access software and sound in safe mode. I'm basically stuffed...for now anyway.

In short my video creating is currently paused, my account is paused. I will keep this Patreon open in case I can fix it and to be able to keep the name. But I'm not sure if I can meet the deadline for the Kyra video if I cannot edit, hear anything, access animation or even upload with a fast enough connection.

But i will always be professional. So what I wan't you ALL to do is this:

UNPLEDGE from my page, How many creators, being greedy would tell you to do that? I WON'T take money for nothing. End of.

After you have UNPLEDGED, go back onto my patreon page and click FOLLOW. I don't know when I can return to making videos, or if I can, it may be many months before I can get something that can produce videos to a decent standard. But if and when, you'll be the first to know if you are following me.

I've posted this now 01:51 23/04/2019 so you have many days before Patreon starts charging you on the 1st of the month.

You know...it's been a hell of a journey. I never thought it would end this way, I thought I'd be able to decide when and where and truthfully, I was hoping to carry on doing this for years. I imagined Blacksheep OVCA and Terrible Fairy retiring way before I stopped. I don't want to of course but....you know the circumstances, no computer no videos.

I started on Patreon many years ago, first creating an account so I could support an upcoming game called SIMBRO, at the time it only had about $3000-$4000 in support. I was wary as hell signing up to this site and being asked for my financial details! But I did. I spent many month on that page, exploring other creators (Random Crow for example) and one day I found software that was easy to use and you could make videos with. It scared me to take that plunge in March 2017. My first month was $16, my first patron? A guy or girl called Mira. That's what I remember.

That grew over time, as did my skills and my upgrades. I saw other people start their creating or if they were before me, go through their growing pains (Terebonkoff, Deepsleep games, Vrelnir, Kravenar Games, Wild life, Breeders of the Nephelym etc etc). Now i'm out of the game. And not through my own choice.

I've met some wonderful people over the years...and some not so (I told one overbearing patron I wanted nothing to do with them, refund was their if they wanted it, money gives no control except what we allow). You've all been along on my journey, whether you supported or followed me. One guy has been there since my first month: Kalishnikow1987 I think the name is. Never said a word or left a comment, but always like every public post of mine. Some came over from SIMBRO like Imperator, Dragonfire, ZaTsu, loucifer. Friendships forged through a keyboard, you could be anywhere in the world and we gelled. Later my circle included Jpostel, Ari_Lolwut, Shas, Quickpawmaud and others who would say something.

I never expected to be having to say this, not now. But there it is. I don't know if I'll get this sorted and be able to come back, so let this me my monument, my tombstone if I can't. Because in the end, I always told you all it wasn't about the money, I wanted to do something MORE, more than what most people do. So I could leave a lasting memory long after me. That's what my videos are, my own thoughts and personality manifested. They'll be there long after me, and some hint of me, my thoughts, my soul will touch future generations.

Also the fact people wank themselves silly over my thoughts is rather fun isn't it? Oops spoiled the mood there?

See you space cowboys,

- Icarus (Formerly Apocrypha)