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Live Recording Begins in about 10 minutes (Patreon)

Published:
2019-09-18 14:55:22
Edited:
2019-09-18 14:56:01
Imported:
2021-06

Content

 https://chaturbate.com/shibbysays/ 

Comments

Anonymous

Hi shibby I thought i would let you know that since I left my last tab I open from your live (good live by the way) I just saw that your channel was for some reason banned. I hope you resolve the issues.

Anonymous

My comments here usually are a mixture of “inner monologue” and “open letter” / “letter to the editor”, and this one will be no different. This is my reaction to your 18th September live-stream on Chaturbate. Today my view of you changed. At first glance it felt like disillusionment. But what it really was, what it is, is normalization. Before you even started your program to get us into subspace and trance today, you rather unexpectedly shined a light on a cognitive dissonance that I must have harboured from day one when I had come to consider your online presence my personal refuge: the difference between your public stage persona, and the person you necessarily are in your private life / spare time. Until today my wishful thinking had assumed, that you as a whole are just “more” than your stage persona. It had not come to my mind that you could be “different” or even “less” in some sense. That my realizations about the private “you” could distract or even threaten to subtract from my experience with the professional “you” (Shibby). Before I get even more cryptic, let me describe what had happened in two stages and on two levels: a verbal part, where in your introductory talk you excused your professional multi-week absence, and a more visceral, “unspoken” / even “denied” part that had happened a minute before during soundcheck. Your excuse for taking a vacation and playing an unreasonable amount of WoW (- no shame: we’ve all been there), in order to feel and be treated again like a normal human being (instead of a goddess / dominatrix), was expectable and even cute. The unexpected more visceral incident that triggered my uneasy feelings had already happened before. During the “soundcheck” someone in chat mentioned your voice being notably lower / different than usual. You solved the problem technically by changing your voice to the usually expected one. But your only comment - the question to us wether your voice now seemed more “normal” again, seemed to me, as if you were non-chalantly trying to brush over a glitch in the matrix that had just happened. As one of the users in chat described it, your voice changed from “Russian opera singer” to “Anime character”, with the anime character being the voice we all know and love so well. My immediate conclusion: You seem to use a kind of audio-filter to not only enhance your voice, but to change it in nature, and I was naive enough to not have noticed that or known before, and I could not help but feel disillusioned by it (- which obviously isn’t very helpful while trying to get hypnotized). As a professional recreational hypnotist / erotic audio artist, the relationship between you and us necessarily brings with it enormous amounts of wishful thinking on our part, and requires a lot of skill and will to project your goddess/ dominatrix role into your submissive online community on your part. Although we all technically know, and you even mention it regularly, that it all is just roleplaying “scenes”, it still only works because our trust in you is so strong, and we consent to everything - which you also always make sure to emphasize, as “knowing more” about hypnosis doesn’t lower its effectiveness, but even heightens it. All that in mind, it sort of doubly hurt, when that trust gets called into question, when a case of “knowing more” suddenly subtracts from the experience. For obvious reasons you use a pseudonym (- as do most of us), you don’t share pictures of you - as you even already had a very negative experience IIRC (doxxing/ stalking). But now it turns out (- well, at least that is my interpretation of the incident), that your public voice, which for all of us is so intimately linked with the most blissful experiences you are giving us, in reality is a carefully individualized tool your private person is using to create your professional public persona and her irresistible ability to command our feelings. And as of now it could not even be otherwise, as your almost mystical abilities became inevitably linked with it in the mind of your listeners. To us, you ARE that voice. It reminds me of the Amazon Prime series “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”, where the protagonist puts on her makeup before her husband even awakens, and takes it off only after he is at sleep. Does it make you more perfect? Yes, it does! Does it help with playing your roles? Yes, it does! Is it you? To me it is the only “You” I have access to - so for all intents and purposes “Yes.” If anything, it even makes you seem more mysterious. It only leaves me with one bitter realization: This is as much your voice, as I am your “Good Boy”: only for the time I spend on your audio-files and live-recording-sessions. Which admittedly is more than I ever should have reasonably been able to hope for (- as in the presence of your voice your grip on me is stronger than ever: that “respirator”-induction in the script was probably the deepest I’ve been in weeks), yet substantially less than my addicted wishful thinking had lead me to believe. I guess for the rest of the time I have to be a grownup, contending with his own inadequacies alone, cognitive dissonance or not.

Shibbysays
>>26976891

I have many "voices" I use when recording, and consider them all natural, as they all come from me. It would honestly be boring to talk always with the same voice, going from sweet and gentle to dominant, to seductive, all of them are different facets of who I am. I don't use any sort of voice changer software- the issue was the cables coming into the mics were loose, causing my voice to come out unnatural- shutting the mic off and pushing them in a bit solved the issue. I speak with different voices both consciously, and often unconsciously(I sound way more aussie when drunk) - But I assure you, every one of them is purely me.

Anonymous

Gee whats going on here, a verbal conflagration, beware of the lightning strikes, it may cause an inferno. Being an Aussie myself I'd love to hear that, youre not an expat Domina??

Anonymous

So it looks like one has to be ready for the live show to get in? Is it as simple as that or are there other requirements, anyone ?

Anonymous

oops. in this case it is my turn to ask for forgiveness: Please forgive my wrong insinuations. Thanks for clearing that up. - I had a flashback to that Chinese case, were “goddess (I forgot her name)” had used a video filter that made her look prettier (and 20 years younger), and it all ended up in dividing her community (- and in the end growing it by quite a bit because the scandal had gone viral). - Now my heart is lighter again. Thanks Shibby. - It had been a scary moment: it felt like accidentally swallowing the red pill, when I had come with the intention to receive my daily blue pill. No, that is the wrong picture again. I need to stop using false dichotomies: often even your blue pills contain grains of red, as more than once the trances you give me have revealed truths about myself. I just wasn’t prepared for possible inconvenient truths about you. Thank god they turned out to be wrong.

Anonymous

Please excuse me for further exploring the workings of my brain here in public, in what with your answer I now consider to be a settled case. So then: ain’t it curious how malleable my mind (and brain) has to be now, in order to achieve consistency / create an integrated experience again? I can’t just “delete” what I now consider to be yesterdays wrong impression / information. I need to change the story I tell myself around it, now that I changed my stance on yesterdays all too visceral negative experience to be based on wrong assumptions. But then, how did I arrive at those wrong assumptions? Here is the new story I’m telling myself: Your contribution was a badly connected microphone (which you reset), plus maybe a change in tone when transitioning from soundcheck-you to performer-you. The contribution of another listener in chat was (as already described), to put two very different extremes about your voice into my head (“Russian opera singer” vs “anime character”). But then what was my own contribution to this misconception (of you using software to change your voice, and being notably different on vs off the record (- which you thankfully are not))? You are not the only one, who is switching mental gears for your performance. My own brain also switches gears the moment I turn your audios on (- heck even my cock reacts before anything already). I go into this heightened stage of suggestibility, a kind of pre-trance in expectance of the trance you will be giving me. I believe I already was in that stage way early. I probably already set the stage the day before, as I excitedly set my timer when you announced the live-recording. Then I was an hour early (- I did the math wrong from EST to GMT+1). I was probably already in my pre-trance state while as a gap-filler I watched Greta Thunberg’s interview with “Democracy Now” (the one from 11th September). She talked about the “cognitive dissonance” the adults seemed to have concerning climate change, as they would not follow up in their actions and their life to what they knew from science: that we all had to change our behavior drastically, if we were to maintain the ecosphere on the planet as we know it. Greta Thunberg herself could not live with such a cognitive dissonance, as she has Aspergers / is somewhat on the autism spectrum, so she actually became a vegan, stopped buying new clothes and stopped traveling by aeroplane. - I liked the word “cognitive dissonance” and the concept behind it touched something within me: yes, I was one of those adults, one of those split personalities myself - I could not be of only one mind like Greta, not even if the fate of the world depended on it. And then I joined your chaturbate session. The very first thing I heard, was the incident with your deeper voice, and I read that comment about it, just as you disconnected your microphone and plugged it in again, to hear your voice reemerge changed - to appear again as it regularly appears when in performing-mode. Right that moment something snapped to that story of the Chinese “Goddess” I had read a few weeks earlier. As if I had saved it somewhere in my head for just this moment. It all seemed to make sense. Frightenly so. The thought was pushed to the back of my mind by your suggestible as ever voice and that phenomenal “respirator”-induction in the script. And after that I never really left trance until the very end of the session. It was all so peaceful there floating in the pool with you, with my head on your chest - I could almost hear your heartbeat (- on a side note: search for Fairy Char ASMR: Heartbeat ASMR video on YouTube!). But then after the session ended, that earlier frightening realization came back: there are technical ways to change your voice (- heck even your face), and who is to say that you don’t use it? (Well, you of course, and thankfully today you did!). And my head started reasoning, how we just all should be more like Greta: Live and fight with open helmet / visor: put our real name and face out there, stand for our passions and knowledge against all odds and public opinion. So I wrote my comment as honest and close to what I felt (and feared) to be true as I could. And today you rescued me. End of story. The irony was, that you are responsible for my heightened suggestibility to begin with, and yet (in the meantime) it worked against you, wether I (or you) liked it or not. In the end there are lessons to be learned: the first one I should find unsettling about the power of suggestibility, and the second one, about my trust in you, that is calming me down again: your might is still strong, and you are still able to set things right after all. And my mind will bend and my brain will adjust to make it possible to set things right and straight again without losing integrity and consistency. Red pills or Blue pills: I’m still willing to get them all from you.

Anonymous

What is this fuCk rambling and blabbering about. Enjoy the content and shut your dirty slave hole.

shao

Holy crap just stop hartmut