New Video Tomorrow! (Patreon)

Do you like reading? No, you say? Fat chance, four-eyes. 'Cause far as I can tell, your eyes are ogling this FUNKe blogpost as we speak. That's okay, though, because i've got another upload spinning down the factory line as we speak, and it's chock-full of books.

You read that right. It's not about video games, it's not about TV shows, it's about the very ancestor of those children's play things you call a passtime- it's about BOOKS. Think of them like movies, but with chest-hair and also your eyes are closed the entire time but you're really good at imagining the movie. And while it's true that these books you'll be hearing about are what a publisher would call "picture-books", what's most important is that each of them is made with honest-to-god japanese parchment* paper and a damn steady hand.

*digital mesh substitutes where applicable.

I'm well aware that many of you are not what we in the business would call 'literate'. If you need to re-read that sentence again, that's fine. Some people arent accustomaed to reading and writing and that's oke. But before you go pulling out torches and chanting "Book burening!", consider the following: Pictures aren't words.

It's true. See also: The Pharaonic Era of Ancient Egypt. They invented hyrogliphics after all. It was such a novel invention, they gave it the most inane, unspellable name possible to really bring the point home: That Words Are out, And Pictures are In. In fact, had HTML allowed me to, I would be speaking entirely in heterogliphetcs right now.

All this to say, you're going to love this new video. Because unlike the antiquated word book, these ones remove all the heavy lifting required of your (checks notes) neocortex and thalamus. Hey geniuses, it's a brain. Why make a bigger word for brain? Because some brain scientist was imagining a worse world for the rest of us, that's why. But a picture doesn't have to be imagined, only seen. You know what else doesn't need to be imagined, and only seen?

The New FUNKe Video That's Coming Out Tomorrow, Wednesday the 29th. Because it will be real, and it will be full of many moving pictures.

It's just like the egyptians always said: [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][].

EDIT: Ah, that did not work out at all. Maybe there's a better way to convey this. Oh- i've got just the idea.

It's just like the egyptians always said: ❌👨‍⚖️📖➡️📘.