Vote Vote Vote! (Patreon)

Nah, this isn't a political post. The Sep/Oct season is over, and it's time to vote on the 1st This is it, everyone!  Time to help Applejack pick a mystery bachelorette based on their answers!  We had a lot of fun questions, and I'm picking what I felt were the highlights and posting them here.  Still, there are many intriguing ones not included for briefness's sake, so I definitely encourage you to check the following links for the full question lineup.

https://www.deviantart.com/toonbat/art/The-Mating-Game-853834585

https://derpibooru.org/images/2435950

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38016320/

Walt46 asks:

"Bachelorette Number 3! How do you feel about . . . BANANA?"

BACHELORETTE 3: "I'm no monkey! Um... not that there's anything wrong with monkeys. Some of my best enemies are monkeys!"

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AzureJay asks:

"Bachelorette Number 2: stockings or no stockings?"

BACHELORETTE 2: "Ooh! I love stalking! Stalking's great! I mean, I might have stalked you a little earlier. Oh gosh, I'm being weird again, aren't I? I'm sorry! No stalking! Stalking's bad!"

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marmelmm asks:

Bachelorette #1: What are you wearing?

BACHELORETTE 1: "Your resistance, slowly, away. Soon you will be our mindless minion. It will be great, trust us!"

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rabbi-top asks:

Bachelorette #2...Wanna Buck?

BACHELORETTE 2: "Well, I'm not that hungry right now. How about a doe instead?"

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Doodles asks:

Bachlorette #3: If I were an apple blossom, would you pick me or pollinate me?

BACHELORETTE 3: "I would pick... a fight with you! And win! My girlfriend would probably pollinate you, though. And win!"

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Charonib asks:

Bachelorettes, what do you all think of giant monster movies?

BACHELORETTE 1: "We don't follow them much. But we agree Razorback was very cute!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "Oh dear. I don't know them too well. Although Night of the Lepus always gets me excited!"

BACHELORETTE 3: "Okay, so King Ghidorah's a good guy in Giant Monsters All-Out Attack? The fuck? The fuck is that? Oh, I have an idea for a stupid movie! Let's make Gigan a pacifist! And Hedorah an environmentalist! And Gyaos kosher! And the Giant Claw a sex symbol! Because that makes sense!"

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Starswirl asks:

What will you do to Applejack first?

BACHELORETTE 1: "Clad her in armor, to be our fearsome lieutenant! Then unclad her, because she's hot."

BACHELORETTE 2: "N-nothing. I swear, I'll be good! Oh gosh. Is this 'the dad talk'? Are you her dad? Mr, Jack, I promise my intentions with your daughter are purely… um… pure."

BACHELORETTE 3: "Well, I was thinking something tasteful for starters, maybe a tussle in waist-high freezing sea water. That always gets me in a romantic mood."

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EmilBorg asks:

Ask if they like apples

BACHELORETTE 1: "Apples are the worst Halloween treat! Oh wait, I forgot that there are candy apples. Apples are the best!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "Is 'apples' slang for anything? Because if so, then 'yes'!"

BACHELORETTE 3: "Oh, I fucking loves apples. I just scarf them with both hands!"

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radpanic asks:

"What's your favorite book?"

BACHELORETTE 1: "The bible. Funniest thing we've ever read!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "I like… s-stamp books. Is that weird? It is, isn't it. OH NO I'M MAKING A BOTCH OF THIS KILL ME NOW!!"

BACHELORETTE 3: "What's a book? It sounds stupid. If I ever met one, I'd win, I'm sure."

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Supermark asks:

Ask if they're ticklish

BACHELORETTE 1: "I'm not, but my sister is! What? No! Don't listen to her! She's crazy! And ticklish! Crazy ticklish!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "YES! I'm super ticklish! Being tickled is the best! Oh god, please someone tickle me now!"

BACHELORETTE 3: "Eh. I dunno. I mean, i got blasted by some dweebs with a laser once or twice. I mean, that kinda tickled, I guess."

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Tangent-Rambles asks:

Applejack: "Somethin'  goes wrong right before we're s'posed to meet up for our big date, an' y' have a choice of dealin' with it then an' there but being late or maybe even not showin' up at all, or puttin' it off an hopin' th' situation resolves itself while we're out havin' a good time. What do you do?"

BACHELORETTE 1: "Awww, what could go wrong? Some dorky little Chosen One hero showed up, sword in hand, thinking they can challenge us, no doubt?  We believe we'll head off to meet up with our date, thank you very much.  Let the little pest enjoy his ass a little longer before we come back to trounce it!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "Trouble? Why? W-what have you heard?  Because if it's about earier today, that was just an accident! The guy said he hadn't had a bite in days, and... well, I knew what he meant, but I was nervous, and I figure it would lighten the mood if I..."

BACHELORETTE 3: "Bah!  Whatever the trouble is, it's nothing a good stomping can't fix.  I'll be a little fashionaby late at the most, and my mood will be better for it. Everyone wins.  And by everyone, I mean me. Always!"

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Flynn 567 asks:

AJ: I can work long hours in the summer heat. How would you help me "relieve tension" *giggle* at the end of the day 

BACHELORETTE 1: "Did you hear that, sister?  She can work long hours in the summer heat!  We have clearly chosen well!  Indeed we have, sister!  I look forward to her captivity!"

BACHELORETTE 2: "Ooh! We can stay up all night and go out to hit all the bars, and the dance clubs, and the movies, and the restaurants, and go camping, and go hiking..."

BACHELORETTE 3: "Well, if you have absorbed too much solar radiation, we can always go destroy something, or blast an enemy.  That usually gets rid of the pent-up energy.  Or we can fuck.  That's fun too, I guess."

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Caroos-Dungeon asks:

Applejack: "How long can you keep going in a tickle fight?" :3

BACHELORETTE 1: "I don't really know. I've only tried that with my sister, and she crumbles like a pringles chip in an instant, so I never get to test my own limits.  Shut up!  I do not!  You do too!  She does too."

BACHELORETTE 2: "Oh, I love being tickled!  Wait... people have tickle fights?  Is that like... fighting for the right to get tickled?  Oh, I'd massacre everyone I know for that! Um... metaphorically... ish."

BACHELORETTE 3: "Is that a challenge, you little #$%??  You challenging me??? I'm gonna tickle you into a goddamn coma, you hear??  You're gonna be laughing your lungs into withered raisins!  YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG.... Wait, it was just a hypothetical scenario?  Ah, well.  I'd win."

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Gutovi declares:

Have Applejack ask... "How often do you exercise?" She's gonna want someone with stamina and a good work ethic!

BACHELORETTE 1: "Oh, we love exercising... our will upon others! Isn't that right sister?  Why yes sister. That's quite right."

BACHELORETTE 2: "Oh, I love running!  Well, chasing, rather. Chasing's fun.  Is that weird? But don't worry!  I'll give you a running start!"

BACHELORETTE 3: "Bah! I don't need to exercise! I'm already the strongest! Wanna arm wrestle?"

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Chris 107

1) Which do you focus more when working out in the gym, cardio or muscle building?

2) If taken out for a romantic dinner, what would be the perfect setting and meal?

3) In a hot and steamy love tryst, would you take the lead, or do you like to be led?

BACHELORETTE 1:

1) "We mostly focus on the abs...olute dominion of our minions"

2) "A moonlit night, the cool desert breeze in our hair as we soar above the sand, and the bugs we catch in our open mouths.

3) "We usually stay on top, thank you very much... but if you're good, we might arrange a nice sandwich arrangement.  That would place you technically in the middle, but really, you'll still be our bitch."

BACHELORETTE 2:

1) "Well, in the gym I mostly work on... my restraint.  So many people running... I just wanna chase them down and..."

2) "I like outdoor meals best.  Maybe a barbecue?  We could share some babyback ribs, and lick each other clean afterwards?"

3) "I'm not big on leads.  I prefer to run free!"

BACHELORETTE 3:

1) "Trust me. If I ever hit the gym.. the gym would lose!"

2) "Going for a swim together would be nice. We can just eat whatever tries to eat us first. I'm not picky."

3) "That's a very personal question!!"

So there you go.  Select a candidate based on her answers, and send  a message my way to let me know your pick. If you think you can guess the identity of any of the candidates, let me know as well. If you're right on any of them, you will get an extra 10 votes in addition to the ones from your donation.  I'll announce the winner a week from now, and release the identities of the candidates.  After that, be on the lookout for a drawing of Applejack with the winner! Patrons will have two-month early access!