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"Surely Superman feels like a lizard?"

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CONVENIENT WRITING IS THE BACKBONE OF THE COMIC INDUSTRY

Sorry, sorry, it's just... You can't take away our convenient writing. You just can't. How else are we going to keep everyone guessing who might secretly be sisters with someone else? There's no other way.

We just... We need it, okay? Okay.

I'm glad we had this talk.

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Comments

M.

I like where this looks to be going. :) Speculation about this stuff is always interesting to me, and knowing that Tedd could find ways to actually test this? Oh, this could be fun.

Some Ed

Bulletproof superheroes have non-Newtonian blood and fatty tissues. It *feels* normal if you're just touching them, but if you slap them or punch them, they're hard as a rock... made of really hard stuff.

IvyReed

I hope hijinks involving Elliot, Tedd's magical eyes, and whatever Nanase says is a safe equivalent to getting shot by a gun, (perhaps a tennis ball cannon? I'd be happy with just a nerf gun), ensue.

egscomics

Once again, a term I'm familiar with only because of Mythbusters :D (Specifically the ninja "walk on water" myth (pretty sure. Point is, Adam walked on "water" with some trickery))

Viktor

NOPE. Do not shoot your buddies with a tennis ball cannon. Yes, people can in theory take hits from tennis balls pretty well(Wimbledon Men’s Doubles Final says hello) but I’ve also seen someone get concussed by one hit in the wrong place, and that ball was hit by a 50 year old woman. An actual launcher can do a lot more damage than that.

IvyReed

You make a good point, especially considering Nanase's history for responsible behavior.

Anonymous

Some characters might use some form of reflexive telekinesis to effectively make a force field around them. That's kind of the go-to explanation in the Wild Cards universe anyway. In it, most superpowers are psionic to some degree. So while you get a lot of physiological changes. (As a result of biokinesis) most of the "classical" superpowers are really just applications of certain psychic powers that have been limited to only work in certain forms. (So a super strong guy and a flyer are both just telekinetic. But the strong guy is limited to a tactile range while the flyer is limited to only being able to levitate himself). Honestly, though superman's invulnerability is somewhat unclear in its mechanics. Like it's most commonly portrayed as a physiological trait, why are Kryptonians only invulnerable under a yellow sun? What is in the chemical properties of kyptonite that change that fact? The biological properties of cells that can effectively become bulletproof while exposed to certain forms of solar radiation and then subsequently lose those properties and start to die under kryptonite radiation would be confusing at best.

Anthony Wilson

There's one rather dark comic out there called "Irredeemable" - basically a Superman-expy finally snapping and going off the deep end. Some of the dialogue at various points mentioned that one couldn't run their hand through his hair without getting said hand ripped apart (since the hair wouldn't bend for them). Later revelations about the nature of his powers further explain why nobody would notice this stuff while in his secret identity but it's too long an explanation for a Patreon comment and is major spoilers. (That and the textbox keeps scrolling up a bit so I can never see the line I'm actually typing out).

Adama

I remember a John Byrne Superman issue where he revealed that to shave in the morning he bounced his laser vision off a handheld mirror, because a razor just wouldn't work.

Some Ed

Trick to deal with Patreon's doofy input box: Press shift-return to add a couple blank lines, and then cursor back to where you were. You'll now need to cursor around to get the cursor to display itself again, but the window won't scroll the moment you type something. You can delete these added newlines after you've finished your update. Or use them for a really short closing paragraph.

Andrew Pam

And then there's this legendary 1969 Larry Niven essay: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex

ijuinkun

It's easy to walk on water if you just chill the water a bit.

ZekeStaright

I liked that they showed Superman shaving with his heat vision in the cartoon since a razor shouldn't do shit, but it also got me wondering, how hot did he have to make it in order to fry his hair? On a separate note, I love how cute current Tedd looks.

Idran

The go-to explanation for Superman is also tactile telekinesis, for what it's worth. Superboy ran with that pretty strongly in Teen Titans, expanded it beyond his personal invulnerability/flight field and was able to, for example, manipulate objects he was holding by extending it along their surface in more conscious ways than Superman using it to subconsciously hold something together while lifting it at impossible angles.

Stephen Gilberg

In one version, Superman has some telepathy, which explains why his Clark Kent disguise is so effective. Maybe it extends to tactile illusions.

Anonymous

The "current" explanation for superman's thing is that kryptonian cells generate a sort of gravity based field of force at the cellular level, depending on absorption of certain emissions received from a 'yellow' sun. The cumulative effect results in a tactile projected field over the surface of his body. It feels like skin, but only has so much give to force applied.