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Nutrition (Patreon)

Published:
2023-01-31 02:40:03
Imported:
2023-01

Content

do not eat the bears

Files

Comments

Czarzhan

Saw a Quora answer to a question of what you should do if you were in the Arctic and saw a polar bear on the ice and you had a gun but no quick way to escape (like, by air). The answer was basically, if you want to avoid being dismembered alive, since polar bears don't bother to kill you before they start eating you, is to use the gun. But not on the bear, that'd just piss it off.

Thomas Halpin
>>100785933

Yeah, I can't imagine hiking in bear country, including the arctic, without a proper BEAR gun. Only because I like being alive and I don't think I can run faster than anyone else I might be with.

wargrunt42

Despite over a century's worth of medical advancements, there's still no known cure for Eaten By Bears Disease.

Ursus Ridens

Fudd's disorder: awtic wabbit syndwome.

Magic Chopstick Games

So I Google “bear gun” and the first “people also ask” question is “What kind of gun do bears use?” 😶

PixelThis

I don't know that I'd classify getting eaten by polar bears as a "disorder"

Simon Green

Ha! Joke's on Bubbles, there won't BE any polar bears in 10 years.

Leak

So who'd win in a fight (no weapons) - Bubbles or the polar bear?

Sleepy John
>>100792950

I don't think the bears are dumb enough to pick a fight with someone their own size, and Bubbles certainly wouldn't.

Anonymous
>>100785933

~Without a Paddle Dan: What are you doing? Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes. Dan: Why? Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes. Dan: You can't outrun that bear. Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.

Sehrys
>>100792950

polar bears do occasionally fight/hunt walruses and other creatures their own size (or even bigger/heavier than them), so who knows! maybe Bubbles smells like prey 👀

Chewbacca

[Exit FAYE, pursued by a bear]

Stephen Wells
>>100792950

Bubbles can lift a tank. I think a polar bear would not be a threat to her.

Miyaa
>>100792950

They wouldn’t fight. Bubbles would find fresh seals for the polar bear and the bear would accept boops on the snoot. Meanwhile another polar bear is accepting belly rubs from Emmitt while their mom is worried how bad of an influence the bears are to them.

Anonymous

She's gonna get beriberickettscurvy

Anonymous

I know two people who were mauled by polar bears. The thing that stays with me is one of them saying the worst part was the sound of the bear's teeth on his skull. That's an uncomfortably concrete description for an auditory thinker like me...

Anonymous

Someone already made the Beriberi joke. But if we're talking polar bears and arctic explorer diseases - the thing to worry about is either trichinosis or Vitamin A toxicity - both most likely coming from eating polar bear. So sounds like we should stay away from them regardless of who has the gun...

Leak
>>100801283

[Exit stage, trashed by epic Bubbles vs. bear fracas]

Thomas A. Dennis
>>100809684

In that case, absolutely do not go to YouTube and look up "polar bear plexiglass box". No fang-on-skull action, I promise! The plexiglass box is tough. But you do get a very good look at Mx. Bear's dentition from inside the box.

Anonymous
>>100809684

Oh, I've seen the dentition rather close up on a number of occasions. Among other things, my family used to own the head-mounted skin of a good-sized bear. It took some months before my little brother would go anywhere near it, but he would have been around four, so kind of understandable.

Mad Marie
>>100810361

Seems like the easiest way to avoid trickynoses is to stay away from the top end of the bear?

ValdVin
>>100810361

Someone already made the trichinosis joke (me) but I appreciate any effort to raise awareness of this disease which is the scourge of Arctic exploration (well, except for scurvy).

Clifton Royston
>>100789060

Well the standard DSM criterion for disorder is along the lines of "Does it interfere with your ability to function daily?" Even though I haven't experienced the case of being eaten by polar bears, for myself I would have to guess probably yes.

PixelThis
>>100789060

Though, generally, I would think a disorder is something you have the possibility of recovering from or living with. Death by polar bear seems a trifle out of scope 😆

Anonymous

Do you know how horrible scurvy is?

Mad Marie
>>100810361

Didn’t see it, ValdVin! Congrats on acquiring trichinosis first!

William Cole
>>100883465

Yes! I read about it in Ryan North's, How to Invent Everything (which is great, btw). The crazy thing is that humanity figured out how to prevent scurvy multiple times, but kept forgetting about it or changing to methods that didn't actually work, because we didn't really understand the underlying mechanisms.