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I hope you guys enjoy today's patron-exclusive upload, the continuation of the high narration of the worst story ever put to print, Moon People, written by Paddington Essay.*  Sit back, listen, and suffer with me, won't you?  Misery loves company, after all.



*Name changed to protect the barely literate.

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Anonymous

I hope you get well soon Dangerous

Anonymous

Sick, Drunk and Dangerous sounds like a name for a rock band

Anonymous

Even though you’re sick, you won’t stop reading this masterpiece, thats commitment! (Hope you feel beter soon DA)

MUZaKM4K3R

You should use your sickness to your advantage, we need a caring for your stick Domme girlfriend audio

Anonymous

Feel better DA! Also, ready to suffer through some more of David's bologna sandwiches and red lobster dates. 🦞

Lily

*falls on knees dramatically* Damn you David!!!!

Anonymous

I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous

Damn it David! You got her sick through your stupidity and boringness you fucking hedgepig! Get well Dangerous. 👍💙

Anonymous

And maybe one where the Domme girlfriend takes care of a sick listener

Anonymous

Dangerous, we truly appreciate what you do for us. I mean even though you’re currently feeling sick, you still choose to venture through this realm of bologna sandwiches and Red Lobster 🦞 shenanigans! You’ve got some courage! 😂 I hope you’re doing better Dangerous, thank you for the audio. 🙂

Anonymous

Hearing this has really made me appreciate a lot of mediocre fan-fiction, let alone actually published stories/shows, even those that we call "bad." It's like this guy watched a lot of Star Trek and thought that what all of the storylines and action wasn't worth following, but why don't they have more detail about whether people have to buckle-up during Yellow Alert? Why bother imagining different aliens or commenting on social structures in a sci-fi setting, when we could detail the type of eggs they eat and compliment and cheer when we launch? As I think you said in an earlier installment ... this should encourage us all as writers; it's a bar below which we're all unlikely to fall. But honestly, the real pleasure in this is just how tortured you are in reading it. I hope there is enough masochist in you to really enjoy this. I can't think of a better or more original form of torture than to force you to read this. Over and over and over again.

Anonymous

I read a review for this series that stated its: 'pioneering writing style shines through from the very first page'. I think that Dangerous would strongly disagree. We all do.

Anonymous

I hope we get "Taking care of your sick girlfriend Pt 2" because sick Dangerous sounds adorable

Jeremy Knight

I can forgive this one for being short since you're sick. Nothing happened other than them taking off.

Anonymous

Mach 5?!? XD That is ridiculously slow for space travel. Orbital speeds are closer to twice that or more. Mach 5 is 3,800 mph. You need around Mach 9.5 for a stable earth orbit XD

Anonymous

Hope you feel better soon. I can't quite believe he went on to write not one, but two sequels to this.

Ipdar teldar

Mach speed is only relevant to the speed of sound. In space there is no sound, therefore you cannot go faster than the speed of sound in space.

Ipdar teldar

You want to talk about scientific inaccuracies in this this story? How about the part where they are observing something traveling faster than the speed of light at all. Even between jumps, in the time it would take the light from the object to reach them, it should already be riding on their collective butts before they could observe it. Light-years away, its observed position would be where it was several years ago. In fact it should look like it's traveling away from them every time it jumps.

Anonymous

Yes, But in the connotation that many people employ, they don't think about that