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Sketch4753 (Patreon)

Published:
2022-08-10 23:51:35
Edited:
2022-08-10 23:52:09
Imported:
2022-08

Content

I'm not doing too hot.
I'm really lonely
I know it's not true but I feel like I'm going to be alone forever
I found out how to survive alone, to thrive alone, and I go to bed with food, beautiful things, and accomplishments. But it's alone, and without someone to love.

The lifestyle I live doesn't allow me to chance upon a relationship
There is zero chance a woman is going to bust through my door into my room and ask to be my girlfriend. I work alone in my room, and I relax alone and play games alone in my room.
I go outside to the gym 5 times a week, then I go to the mall after each session, I sweat, then I eat.
I think maybe I could meet someone there, but it's hard for me to reach out, I'm not built like a social butterfly, all my life I was taught to be invisible and avoid all contact. I have to work against everything natural to me to reach out and just talk to someone. I'm not even rewarded for it. rejection, being ignored, fake smiles, things not going right, it hurts like a bitch.
If I could, I would not talk to anyone at all, but then the lonliness comes back and gnaws at me.
So I'm surrounded on all fronts by pain and discomfort.
I either try and suffer for it, or don't try and suffer for it.

I dunno... I don't see life going very well for me on the romantic side.

Hey, if you read all this, thanks for being here.


Files

Comments

Anonymous

You are not alone. I've been there too. Then I started to learn how to communicate with others ( from channels on YT like Psych2g0 or charisma on command).It was super useful, because 90% of human language is non-verbal. Now I really improved my social skills. II know this is an old discussion, but I wanted to add a little experience of mine. Keep it up the good work!!

I.E

I know that feeling all too well... I really hope things will work out somehow, my friend told me that I just need to put myself out there and meet people. Easier said than done for some

Anonymous

Although I have no advice to offer I’d like to say thank you for reaching out and pouring your heart out to us fans, trusting us with this vulnerability and honesty. I’m sure one of us has a very good advice but until then, you’re very strong! You’ve got this!

ButteredPancakes

Stay strong, man. This might be a bit late of me to reply, but I know what that’s like. You’ll make it alright. There’s someone out there for you :)

Anonymous

i just wanted to let you know... you are one of my favorite artists. you have been since i first saw your art. i hope things get better for you.

Anonymous

I feel you brother, I feel the same way

Planetary Gearbox

Hey tele, I’m not really all that great at making people feel better cause I’m generally not good with emotions, so I’ll make this semi-short. If this is something that really concerns you and is causing you emotional pain, then you should really take a break and try to put yourself out there more. Not like one of the breaks I’d do where you’d just relax and game for a couple of weeks, but actively try to make friends or even get a girlfriend if you’re lucky. If you can make some time for social interaction each day it’s always helpful for ur mental state, and if u wanna work you can talk to people while you do so. Honestly idc if you don’t post in a couple months, hell, even a year. It’s not like you posting or not posting art is gonna kill me, I’ll still pay cause I appreciate your work. So anyway, I know I kinda suck at this but generally try to be more social even if it’s out of your comfort zone.

Anonymous

I'm awful at it too. I tried. Social events are really not my thing unless I know people really well. I met who I'm with through dating sites though. And she met me through that. BOTH of us are huge introverts to the point where just our company is enough most of the time. Try online, but don't make it a full time job, I made it one and it was a mistake. Have it on the side and see who's on there. You might find women as introverted as you, I did! (Don't get discouraged by fake bots on sites, they go for anyone and everyone)

Anonymous

Also eharmony sucks don't use that

Anonymous

Life sucks, you either play the game or lose automatically. I'm bad too for personal reasons so I just give it up. I learn to love myself so that when I look at mirror I see a lovable human being deserving of love. Cheers!

Anonymous

Going to a class might help. Doing a camping etc. might also help. Or just go to a night club or a bar frequently just to enjoy the music and drink. Nice women will find you. You need to be seen as a high self esteemed, strong person. But remember that regardless of what you do, things will always go better. For example, I am also an introvert but at the same time I am a college student, so, I make friends there. I widen my social sphere. The main reason I was able to make so many friends is because I went to study Japanese language teaching, so that means that there are people just like me and share the same interests. There are lots of funny and lovable people out there. Build up a nice instagram account. Seek for professional help for social anxiety. Love u from Turkey <====3

Drath

Reading this feels eerie, like me from another timeline wrote this. I'm extremely introverted, I was never popular, I'm used to being ignored, people being fake nice to me, having a conversation always took a conscious effort. I never really seeked out romance during my youth and of course, I never found it. I pretty much gave up trying to find romance and started how to live without it. One day I joined a discord server owned by a twitter artist without any intention of meeting anyone, I just wanted to see more of their art in case they posted there as well. I was mostly just lurking, never really talked to anyone. One day I saw a discussion on a topic I was passionate about, joined in, started talking more, befriended some like-minded people, and now I can proudly call one of them my girlfriend. We've been together for 2 years and we're excited to move in together as soon as we can. I know this might sound like the generic "lmao just go meet people" type advice, but to be honest, I think that's pretty much all there is to it. Sure, some people you might meet might not click with you, some might reject you, but all of that is part of socializing. Eventually you'll meet someone who will find you to be the perfect partner for them, you just need to give them a chance to meet you, even if it's on a discord server or whatever. Take care man, I hope for the best for you. Much love.

Emanon

What you said about rejection, fake smiles and the like hit pretty close to home for me. I'm sorry you're going through such a thing. All I can say is that you aren't alone, no matter how much you think you are. We're here, and there are others out there in the same boat...myself included. But giving up only ensures you'll lose out on happiness later. Most if not all of us are here for you because we love you and your presence. Much love to you. P.S. Just out of curiosity, but if Nila were a real person then what would you say her height and weight would be? Or at least her height? o.o I'd want to know if I'd have to look up or down at her if we hypothetically met, for example.

Anonymous

We're all here. Not all of us are social butterflies, and it's perfectly normal. There's someone on YT I follow who does "rejection therapy" and it's pretty neat.... He goes to absurd lengths to put himself in social situations where it's obvious that he will get rejected, told 'no' or otherwise shut down. The surprising thing is that often people are super nice with him and then he's surprised too. Wanting relationships with deep emotional attachment requires having done the many, many prior steps required. At one point in my life I was in a similar situation where work was mostly isolated, family was far away, all activities individual, no friends etc. At that point I couldn't even make a phone call for a pizza delivery. Needless to say if I can't talk to someone in a customer/employee setting, there's no way to have a circle of friends or a relationship. So I kicked myself in the butt and started with small increments : like grocery shopping in person and not delivered. Looking at the cashier in the eyes instead of the floor. Saying thank you to bus drivers and other service people. Going back to the everyday, obviously normal interactions that we forgot. I think you're on the right track with the gym, however the activity itself while you may be surrounded by people, is still isolated. You listen to your music and you grind, then eat, then go home. I'd suggest also starting in small increments. And it has to be a conscious choice to do something else than working or playing at your place. You have to figure out something small and new, to "wedge" between the moments of rest-work-workout-eat-sleep. because these five are all part of the same individual loop currently. Go back to the basic interactions we should be having with humans in general and we currently miss. And go from there.

TheDoogray

Have you tried meeting anyone online, I mean honestly even some youtubers and what not have ended up with a person who was previously a fan. My friend recently met someone at a party his friends threw, that could also be an option, I know exactly how you feel, I felt the same, I didn't think I'd find anyone. I almost missed my opportunity when I was about to finish uni, long story. But as hard as it can be dude and as uncomfortable as it can feel, you have great opportunities to try meet someone, don't give up, work up that courage and wait for that opportunity to arrive, we'll all be here to support you!