Chapter 293: Just a hairy guy (Patreon)

Using my tendrils, I drag the glittery, white crystalline spiritform of Yog through the interstitial space, until we pop out in Herman’s Haven.

And I do mean drag, as he’s not exactly done struggling, and keeps conjuring more pure-white blades to hack at my glowing purple appendages.

“You shan’t get away with this!” he yells, disturbing the serenity on the idyllic beach. “Your little rebellion is doomed to—”

“Do you ever shut up?” I snap at him, hitting him with another wave of Devouring Flames.

“Oh, my apologies,” he replies after it finishes washing over him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “How rude of me not take into account my captor’s lack of basic oratory comprehension. Please, allow me to bring my speech down to your level: Bad human! Let Yog go now, or very extra bad things happen to human and friends!”

I roll my eyes, aware that I can’t reasonably expect him to be less of an asshole under the circumstances, but somehow still annoyed.

“Woah, what’s all this commotion, man?” Herman says, coming over wearing a hot pink button-up shirt with a pineapple print.

“Get Trisha to call over, Goddess, will you?” I tell him, grunting as I yank Yog back down in the sand again. “Got a package for her.”

For a split second, Yog stops thrashing about. Then he suddenly tries to fly off again, forcing me to actually take a few steps on the pristine white beach before I slow him down again.

At least his renewed panic at the mention of Goddess seems to have shut him up.

“And get someone to come help me hold this clown down!” I yell at Herman’s back as he hurries off.

By the time Goddess arrives, Yog is firmly under control. Metallic quills—courtesy of Spikes—form a crude cage around him in the sand, around which Whiskers prowls menacingly. Sal keeps an eye on him from above, where’s he’s lounging on Woolly, but the real thing holding him in check is Shelly, lying next to the cage in the sand, the flowers and vines on her back delighting in the warm light from above.

Goddess takes the scene in quietly, then glances over at me. “You’ve really outdone yourself, Emma.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I say with a bow.

“Your Highness,” Yog chimes tersely. “I must say I’m disappointed by this act of war. I’d like to state, for the record, that I’ve been a voice for peace on the council for a long time.”

Somehow, I doubt that.

Goddess looks him over coolly. “That would mean something... if your council weren’t a mere puppet show, intended to appease the masses, convince them of the benign nature of their dictator.”

She turns back to me, ignoring Yog’s sputtered protests. “How long do I have to place the Commands?”

“We’re a little pressed for time,” I admit with a sigh. “We can’t have the Peilor grow suspicious of our absence.”

The mess we made of the Fifth Trial is bad enough... we’ll just need to make sure we’re long gone by the time they discover it.

Goddess nods, delicately stretching out her taloned fingers. “The short list then. Worry not, I’ll make it work. But let’s make sure he comes back here soon; I have much to ask him...”

When I return to my friends, dragging Yog along, I find that they’re walking through a stone hallway—some sort of service tunnel between sets, it seems.

So this is how they moved around to prepare stuff and clean up after us...

Dave startles at my arrival, but a smile quickly blooms on his face.

“Hey big guy,” I say fondly. “It’s good to see you. I like the new hair colour; blond suits you.”

“The feeling’s very mutual,” he replies warmly. “Except for the part about my hair, but let’s agree to disagree on that.”

“I think it looks sick!” Alec chimes in. “You give off total ‘main villain’ vibes, like some noble in a D&D campaign who turns out to secretly be a vampire who’s been pulling strings behind the scenes, and then the party has to face him before he can complete the ritual that sacrifices a bunch of orphans and helps him ascend to divinity!”

Well that was... oddly specific.

“I see your point,” Dave replies thoughtfully. “But that’s a bit cliché for my tastes. When I design my villains, I prefer to go for something a little more unique.”

Right. I’d almost forgotten I’m dealing with a bunch of nerds.

Seeing the fondly exasperated expression on my face, Dave clears his throat. “Anyway, speaking of villains...” He glances over at Yog, and his expression sinks a bit.

“Don’t worry, Dave,” Kaitlynn chimes in from Loudmouth’s forehead. “He’s under control, right Emma?”

“He is,” I assure him. “He’ll obey a set of rules to prevent undue attention, and follow your instructions with regards to anything else. Goddess will have to renew his bonds once in a while, but they ought to hold in the meantime.”

“Sudo has been very compliant,” Jacob says, putting a comforting hand on Dave’s shoulder. “She even fetches me drinks.”

Alec starts to guffaw at that, clutching his stomach.

Did he always laugh a bit too hard at Jacob’s jokes, or is that a new thing? My mind can’t help but slip back to that kiss we all witnessed earlier...

Kaitlynn, on the other hand, sounds a bit disapproving. “You’re not taking it too far, right Jacob? She’s still a sentient being, who deserves some measure of dignity. Let’s not stoop to their level and start treating them like tools and slaves, please.”

“I won’t, Kait, don’t worry,” Jacob replies with a small smile. “Just enjoying a little well-deserved, mild payback. And to be honest, it’s... comforting to check if the Commands still work, once in a while.”

“I can see how that would make you feel better,” Kait allows. “Just don’t, like, overdo it; that’s all I’m asking.”

“All right,” I state, turning to Dave. “Is it okay if I send him back into his crystal then?”

Dave takes a deep breath. “Might as well get it over with, I suppose.”

I nod, and let go of Yog with a gentle shove towards the crystal that’s been returned to Dave’s forehead, most likely by Suri. The Peilor complies, disappearing inside without a peep.

Dave watches him enter apprehensively, but soon relaxes when nothing happens. “So... now what?”

“We’ll put some Commands on you to help you stay in character,” I tell Dave. “Then, when I say the word, Yog’s going to take the wheel and pretend all is well. You’ll need to stay at the reunion for a bit longer at least, to avoid suspicion—we all will—but we’ll see you soon. He’s under orders to take you to the Realm of Imagination so you can meet with us at the earliest convenience.”

Dave nods. “Thank you, Emma. Thank all of you. I can’t believe you pulled this off...”

“I know right!” Alec exclaims. “We actually did it, we actually got the whole gang back together! Blue Dragons forever, baby!”

Suri quickly shushes him “Need I remind you that we’re still in enemy territory? If you really must celebrate, you can do so later.”

In response, Alec very maturely blows a raspberry at her.

Dave hesitates, then speaks up. “Suri’s right. I suppose we should cut this short, shouldn’t we?”

I smile ruefully. “We’ll see each other again soon, I promise. But yeah, we’ve been away from the party for too long already, and I do not want to be anywhere near this place when the producers of the show find out how much damage we caused. So, if you’re all right with it...”

Dave sighs, then draws himself up a little. “Command away, Emma.”

As far as I can tell, the rest of the reunion goes off without a hitch. There’s a little commotion from time to time, but it all seems to be about who’s been seen talking to whom wearing what, and nothing about the destruction of a carefully constructed set.

There are a lot of people here—like Steve, Calyx, Miss Nakamura, and Rebecca—that I’d wish I could talk to, encourage to hang in there, but alas... With pain in my heart, I avoid them as best I can.

By the time our party leaves, Yog is still entertaining some sycophants who thankfully seem blissfully unaware that he’s been compromised by enemy forces.

To avoid suspicion, Sudo and Jacob make their way home. Me and Alec, however, return to Lyrack’s place with the rest, as we still need Suri to help bring him to the Realm of Imagination, since I can’t use the Blank Space Technique.

The hours seem to crawl by until the agreed upon time rolls around.

Kaitlynn and I appear on the beach in Herman’s Haven first, followed shortly by Suri, who brings along Alec and Loudmouth. Trisha's drone takes over providing Blank Espir to the latter, as Suri’s Blank Space doesn’t have the necessary size to provide enough to sustain both of them indefinitely.

Jacob shows up next, escorted and supported by Sudo.

We quickly gravitate towards a small white obelisk—Yog’s anchor—and end up standing around it, chatting. We’re all a bit early, so I’m totally not worried why it’s taking so long.

Seriously, shouldn’t they have shown up by now?!

Soon enough, however, Dave and Yog pop out of thin air, and we let out a collective cheer.

Almost at the same time, a couple more of Trisha’s drones arrive as requested, to take over providing Espir to Jacob and Dave, and escort Sudo and Yog away for questioning.

“So, who’s ready to beach-party!” Alec exclaims once they’ve left.

I hold up a hand. “Not so fast, blondie! We’re still waiting for one last, rather critical guest.”

“What, who?” he asks with a frown, before gesturing at the gathering. “We’re all here, aren’t we?”

I point over my shoulder with a shit-eating grin, right before Akir passes through the entrance of the pocket dimension, pushing a mobile bar full of clinking bottles of glasses.

“Somebody ordered a bartender?” he grunts, but the crinkling of his eye-slits gives away his happiness at being here.

“Now we’re ready to party,” I state with confidence.

And party we do.

Author's note:

Thanks for reading! ^^