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Beyond The Black Void - Watchbait

Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans have returned again to the black void. Their reason today? To talk about a new huge summer blockbuster movie? No. Quite the opposite. They was gonna talk about Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning 2: Dead Reckoning 1, BUT they thought… how many times can one see Tom Cruise do stints? No, this day Mike, Jay, and Rich have returned to the black void to talk about “Watchbait” the movie version of “Clickbait”. Trash that has overrun a once great institution like Tubi. And before you ask, no we wasn’t compensated by Tubi to promote these films. We were just browsing about and saw a trend. A trend of using certain words or phrases in a title to get one to click on their junk film to watch it, only to realize after a few minutes they made the worst mistake of their lives. This particular video wasn’t a Half in the Bag. Nor was it a re:View. Nor was it a Best of the Worst. I guess it could have been a “Talks About” video, but nah. We made a new show called “Beyond the Black Void” and if you ever see one of these again, it’s just Mike, Jay and Rich Evens talking about something of interest. In solidarity with the WGA and SAG/AFTRA strike we decided to talk about movies that in no way whatsoever could have possibly been made under any conceivable union agreement. In fact, I’d be shocked if one of these pictures weren’t some kind of nudie snuff film. Maybe that’s why Jay “downloaded all of them on his dark web server” whatever that means. And yes, it’s 100% true, we did just spring this whole thing on Rich Evans. I rang him up on my landline to tell him to come to the studio. Well, actually I left a message on his answering machine. He showed up coming from the gym where’s he’s done many power squats and asked me “What we shootin’ Mike?” and I tell him to sit down and shut up you shit-for-brains. He sits down, but there is an immediate squish sound. It would appear that Rich had soiled his large diaper. He claimed he didn’t know. He insisted he ONLY wears a diaper when he does power squats at the gym. 1. it helps stifle the sound of any accidental fart release, but also for… you know what. An accidental Hershey squirt. This is apparently what happened. Luckily a very large toddler had died outside our building and I was able to provide Rich Evans with replacement clothing. A lot went into this video. So please, enjoy.

Comments

Manuel Johnen

I have to say, for me, the original "The Amityville Horror" is still one of the WORST movies I've seen that got ripped off a million times.. you know, one of those cinematic landmarks like "Jaws", "Halloween", "Death Wish" or "Die Hard"... there is nothing to that movie, it's a terribly boring haunted house flick, an almost two hour snoozefest. I must attribute its popularity really to the house with the creepy windows that stare at you, because there is literally NOTHING else to it. Maybe Stephen King's recommendation in "Danse Macabre"... again proving that his taste in movies must be shitty beyond belief. Honestly, ANY single one of the sequels is better than the 1979 original, even if they're not great... I might actually recommend the Damiano Damiani directed "Amityville II: The Possession" (which ironically turns into a sort of "Exorcist" rip off in its second half), "Amityville: It's About Time" (directed by Tony Randel, who did "Hellbound: Hellraiser II" and "Ticks") and - surprisingly - the remake starring Ryan Reynolds, which tells exactly the same story as the original in 30 minutes less... demonstrating what a bore that movie was...

Anonymous

Mike's stream-of-consciousness video descriptions are always a fun little bonus.

Anonymous

I know it doesn't meet your criteria but the most insulting watchbait title I have ever seen was for a zombie movie called Retardead. It kept showing up on my Google play recommended list all through October and made me sad thinking about what I did to make the algorithm recommend this to me multiple times.

Brian E. Lindstrand

Is this a case of art imitating life imitating life and art? https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/2023/07/20/cocaine-sharks-discovery-channel-movie-drugs-florida-shark-week-episode/70439632007/