Not a Mob: Psycho 12 (Patreon)

"How long are you going to keep pretending?" asked Yoruichi, staring at Ohta slumped on the ground from atop a large boulder.

"A few more hours," replied Ohta. "I didn't get much sleep last night, and I'll probably be asked to go on patrol later..."

"Nah, even that Kuchiki girl needs to sleep every now and then," attested Yoruichi. "Before knocking on your door, she was up all night writing down everything you wanted to know. Unless there's a major attack, she'll likely ignore it. If any spirits end up being devoured in the process, it's their own fault for clinging to a world that no longer has anything to do with them."

Rising to a seated position, Ohta looked up at Yoruichi and asked, "Is that the prevailing mentality among Shinigami, or have you just become jaded with old age?"

Though she smiled in response to Ohta's words, Yoruichi was unable to prevent her brow from twitching 'near' imperceptibly as she stated, "Are those eyes of yours for decoration? Irrespective of my age, I'm as supple and fit as they come."

"Maybe," replied Ohta, adopting a mischievous smile as he asserted, "But you could be using some sort of illusion or transformation technique to try and fool me. Without checking for myself, I can't know for certain if you're as 'supple' as you claim..."

Exhaling a scoffing laugh, Yoruichi remarked, "Arrogant and brazen. You'd think getting your ass kicked by a woman would humble you a bit."

"That's an antiquated point of view," contended Ohta. "Besides, practiced humility is self-sabotaging. You may have kicked my ass, but that doesn't mean you'll 'always' be able to kick my ass. Believing you have achieved something by defeating me when there's a clear power gap between us is a sign that 'you' need to be humbled..."

Blinking in surprise, Yoruichi remarked, "You're amazingly impertinent. If your attacks were half as forceful as your tongue is sharp, I'd be riddled with holes by now..."

"I can think of better uses for my tongue," retorted Ohta, earning a lazy eye-roll from the buxom Shinigami. At the very least, he assumed she was one.

"Tell you what, kid. If you can master the basics of Hoho, learn Shunpo, and beat me in a foot race, I'll show you what 'my' tongue can do. Until then, you simply aren't good enough," asserted Yoruichi, eyes narrowed and a smug grin on her face.

"Eh, that sounds like a lot of trouble just for some tongue action," replied Ohta. "Besides, I learn and master techniques for myself, not to chase tail. If you later reneged on your promise, I'd end up looking like a damned fool for trying so hard."

Before Yoruichi could compliment him for his ethics, a sly grin developed across Ohta's face as he added, "If you reward me in advance, however, I imagine it would do wonders for my motivation..."

Unable to contain herself, Yourichi burst out laughing, falling back atop the boulder she was seated upon and cradling her stomach. Ohta was one of the most insufferable people she had ever had the displeasure of dealing with, but the 'most' insufferable was her best friend. She initially intended to half-ass her assignment, but now it was starting to look like she could genuinely have some fun...

Though he was tempted to uproot the boulder that Yoruichi was seated on, taking advantage of her apparent lapse of awareness, Ohta ultimately chose to lay back down and close his eyes. At times like this, it was best to force the other party to act than take action himself.

Noticing Ohta's actions, Yoruichi ceased laughing and sat up, adopting a posture where the heels of her feet were touching as she looked down at him and asked, "Do you not want to learn Shinigami techniques and how to counter them?"

"If I'm going to get hot and heavy with a woman, I'd rather do it once the Sun goes down," replied Ohta. "If you were right, and Rukia does choose to sleep in, we can always train this evening."

As there was an inherent truth to Ohta's words, Yoruichi felt herself at a slight loss. She 'knew' he was trying to pull her into his pace, but unless she intended to force the matter by beating him into shape, her options were frustratingly limited...

("This is why I'm not cut out to teach people...") thought Yoruichi, her brow twitching when she sensed that Ohta had actually fallen asleep. It wasn't a particularly deep slumber but it showed he didn't view her as a threat. He knew she could kill him, but was supremely confident that she wouldn't...

("He's a lot like Kisuke was when we were younger...") thought Yoruichi, recalling a time when things were arguably more complicated but much simpler. Back then, her path was set for her from birth, so all she had to do was go through the motions, and everything would simply work out as if ordained by some greater power...

Exhaling an inaudible sigh, Yoruichi's expression gained an undertone of melancholy as she muttered, "I really am getting old..."

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Waking around three and a half hours after falling asleep, Ohta rose to a seated position and looked around. Yoruichi was nowhere to be seen, so after a moment of silent deliberation, he rose to his feet, took to the sky, and headed in the direction he believed was Karakura Town. Yoruichi had dropped him off in a mountainous forest, and it was the only heading with notable light pollution.

Having guessed correctly, Ohta quickly flew to his apartment, moderately surprised that Yoruichi hadn't ambushed him along the way. That surprise quickly turned to mild annoyance, however, when he opened the door and found a black cat sleeping in his bed.

"Oh? Finally awake...?" asked Yoruichi, stirring awake and stretching her body like a cat in response to Ohta's arrival.

"I don't sense Rukia in her room," remarked Ohta. "Shouldn't she have returned by now?"

"She came by earlier," revealed Yoruichi, arching her back and holding the pose for several seconds before easing out of it and adding, "I gave her one of the duffle bags you had stowed away, so she went shopping for clothes and other indispensables. You'll have to invite her out some other time if you want to see her try on some new clothes."

Understanding that Yoruichi was attempting to get a rise out of him, Ohta responded with a curt "Pass" before removing his blazer and changing out of his school uniform. Yoruichi observed him as he did so, but Ohta wasn't shy. One of his many takeaways from war was that decency and decorum were just complacency and posturing. When your identity was stripped away, and the only things that mattered were survival and ensuring your enemy didn't, you either learned quickly how little such things mattered or died even quicker...

Seeing the faint traces of scars covering Ohta's body, including a bullet wound above his right hip, various thoughts crossed Yoruichi's mind. She had only started observing him on and off once he turned twelve, so she wasn't around when Ohta was at his most reckless. Now that she saw his scars in person, she was somewhat curious to learn the story behind each of them...

"You don't fear death, do you?" asked Yoruichi.

"Death walks beside us from the moment we are born," replied Ohta, adopting a faint smile as he added, "And, more recently, I learned that those who preside over it aren't much different from humans. It's difficult to fear something that comes packaged in the form of an impressionable girl that barely reaches my chest and a talking cat..."

"Just wait until you meet the Kenpachi from Zaraki," remarked Yoruichi, narrowing her eyes as she mused, "That'll put the fear of death back into you."

Shrugging his shoulders, Ohta responded with a lax, "Maybe. We'll see when the time comes."

"Ah, yes, you only find value in the things you've experienced..." muttered Yoruichi. However, instead of continuing, she let her words trail off. After all, before the events of a hundred years ago, she wasn't all that different from Ohta. Others had called her reckless and irresponsible, especially for the successor to one of the Five Great Noble Houses, but she had always called it 'living.'

Realizing something, Yoruichi furrowed her feline brows as she internally remarked, ("I'm starting to understand why Kisuke had me keep an eye on him. That manipulative bastard...")

Noticing Yoruichi's reaction, Ohta raised his brows and asked, "Do I need to go out and buy you a litter box? The bathroom is over-"

Interrupting Ohta's words, Yoruichi transformed into her human form and hurled a pillow into his face, impacting it with a muffled 'thump.' Then, no longer feeling sentimental, she sauntered past him, saying, "Finish getting changed and meet me back at the forest..." in an icy monotone.

"Sure," replied Ohta. However, instead of immediately following after the ostensibly upset cat girl, he took a moment to write and leave a note for Rukia. He might fuck Yoruichi if the opportunity presented itself, but she wasn't the type of woman that could be reined in or trusted. She was the textbook definition of a femme fatale, so if he was serious about investing in his future within the Soul Society, a door–an impressionable woman like Rukia was the safer option. If he decided to assist in her rescue, securing her favor would almost be too easy...

"I really am a bastard..." mused Ohta, his smile briefly gaining a faint undertone of self-deprecation before he slipped on a sweater, placed the note in Rukia's room, and took off in the direction Yoruichi had departed a few minutes prior...

...

..

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As Ohta wouldn't have been able to locate her amid the forest and foliage, Yoruichi awaited him in the sky, arms crossed and brows slightly furrowed as she asked, "Just to be sure, are you ready to take things seriously?"

"So long as you don't try and use me as a punching bag to relieve your stress," replied Ohta. "I'm willing to throw down whenever, but I have no patience for people who use training as an excuse to fuck with people..."

"Then first things, first," said Yoruichi. "Vest me with some of your power, and I'll demonstrate the basics of Hoho using it. I was originally going to use that Kuchiki brat to demonstrate things, but I'm guessing you don't want to flaunt your powers in front of Ichigo, right?"

"I also don't want to vest people with my power will nilly," replied Ohta. "But I'll make an exception in this case since it means I'll be able to fuck you over if you try anything..."

"You can try, but you better kill me if you do," said Yoruichi. "Because the moment I free myself, I'll be making a ditch from here to your apartment using your face..."

"Fair enough," replied Ohta, fearlessly extending his hand to pat the top of Yoruichi's head. Her right eye subtly twitched as he did so, but she didn't say anything as she felt an energy similar to spirit energy but less 'cloudy' begin to permeate and encompass her body. If she had to compare it to something, she would correlate spirit energy to mineral water and Ohta's psychic power to purified tap. It wasn't without purities, but it felt clearer somehow...

Without waiting for Ohta to finish, Yoruichi's body flickered, disappearing before reappearing a few meters away without a change in posture. She also maintained a neutral expression, but within her mind, she remarked, ("This kid is a monster in the making...). She was among the most skilled manipulators of spirit energy in the entirety of Soul Society, so she knew from the moment she used Ohta's power to execute her trademark Hoho technique, Shunpo, that its versatility was on another level. It barely even took conscious effort to achieve the result she desired. It just 'happened' as she envisioned it...

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(A/N: You know what they say, Yoruichi-san. Curiosity killed the cat...)