My analysis after two months staying low (Patreon)

The last two months were completely shitty for my life. COVID-19, teleworking, depression and stress, including a DA journal at 5AM during a depressive trigger. I took that time to stay totally low, offsite, just uploading previous arts so my page doesn't die.

And I came to a conclusion: I ain't a failure at all, but I'm guilty of all shitty things that happened to me, like wishing to be others than myself. I kept looking at other artists and forgot to maintain my own brand (I took a long time to realize I "already built" a brand) but:

• I take a long time to finished what I've started;
• I ain't drawing what's trend today;
• I rarely do other than Sonic and furry;

And you can say "I told you hundreads of times", but just today I'm strong enough to finally get it.

I have a comic page to finish:

... an entire comic to finish:

... and animation I must finish:

... a Jerk-Off-Instruction comic to start...

... a Marceline and Princess Bubblegum to start...
... Patreon rewards to start...
... comics for the PepperFly page (my sneeze alt)...
... more pics to the Foot/Paw Growth Gallery, and so on.

I wasn't simply away: I've been facing my traumas last month; it's painful, but I'm getting stronger every day. My life isn't going where I want because I avoided it, and I blamed my traumas without taking action to overcome it.

Probably I'll never be able to look at those artists again, and I allowed it to punch myself to the ground every day. It's because I'm going wrong; I shouldn't be fucking crazy for other's pageviews, I must've been working to build mine's. Instead of shitting in my own head by not being who they are, I couldn't rationalize that I'll never be able to be them - they're successful because they made themselves better and better, while I destroyed myself every week.

So... even tho I don't know where I start, I now have clear goals for July and the second part of 2020:

• Finish that CMC page
• Do at least three commissions from DeviantArt (mostly the point commission ones)
• Do at least three commissions from FurAffinity
• Do a Jessie comic - it's one of the rewards here
• Do at least more 6 characters for the Foot/Paw Growth gallery
• Slightly update older comics and upload on DA and FA while I work on the commissions
• Finish the Blaze and Rouge Animation.... and maybe start another

My next post here will be the finished CMC comic (the fifth page), and then I'll start working on the Patreon rewards, or anything I wanted to draw but I never had the courage to do so. If I owe you a reward, please send me a DM. If you already did it, don't need to send again, because I have it in the Patreon message log (unless you wanna change ideas).

I won't go "let's fucking do it" anymore, like the previous posts. I know I can't keep that (in fact, I was only fooling myself).

I can't promise I'll finish everything in time this month, or I won't get another depressive trigger and being forced to stay low for a period again, but one thing I can promise you: I'm more aware and strong than I were six months ago.

I can promise I'll do at least 3 posts per week here. I can promise I'll increase activity here with polls. I can promise I'll finally do livestreaming and take live requests, when teleworking allows me to do it.

I'm humbly honored to have you guys as my patron. Thanks for your support during all those years.