A bit more about me - the human behind Bun in the Oven (Patreon)

I thought I’d tell you all a little bit more about me.

For many of you it’s because I’m more comfortable with you and I am happy to give a bit of backstory and for just a few it’s a reminder that I’m a human being and not to treat me as a pregnant art vending machine! :)

I think the first surprise for those who’ve got to know me a bit better in the pregnant content community is I’m either bit or even a lot older than they were expecting. I’m in my late forties

Pregnancy has been my main kink for decades!

I first drew pregnant art as a teenager in the mid 1980s (not sure of the exact year). I created my first pregnant digital art in 1989/1990. My computer didn’t even have a mouse so I drew with the cursor keys and the art was surprisingly good all things considered. I even did a bit of hyper pregnancy art and dabbled in writing too.

Given that this was a long time before the World Wide Web this was all very personal and secretive so as far as I was concerned no one else felt the way I felt.

I wasn’t aware of pregnant art online until I joined Deviant Art and I was very late to the party on that one as I didn’t join until 2014.

I didn’t share any pregnant art until 2016 when I was commissioned through Deviant Art to paint a pregnant OC. It kind of came about by accident as I’d drawn a few of this commissions OCs and noticed he had a pregnant character but he’d not asked me to draw them as he’d assumed (not unfairly) that I might not be into pregnant art given I hadn’t got any on my gallery page.

So that pretty much kicked off the journey I’m on now with my art. From 2016 I started doing pregnant art commissions, art for my own enjoyment and entering competitions then in May 2018 I launched the Bun in the Oven Patreon.

Being in my late 40s means I’m far enough down the road of life to have a lot of commitments in terms of family, financial, and career. So adding Patreon into the mix can get very challenging and to be honest at times I’m so obsessive over it that it’s impacted on those other parts of life and indeed my health (two shoulder ops to date).

Being obsessive isn’t always a bad thing when it comes to being a content creator on Patreon as creating new content each and every month for years on end isn’t easy.

This does lead me into a potential rant... With my Patreon patrons there’s always going to be a churn - patrons leaving for a host of reasons and with that sometimes I get exit surveys from patrons. Some are written as if being sent to Patreon rather than me and others are very much directly at me.

I’ve learnt I need to have a thick skin but to be honest I’m terrible at that at it starts feels a bit personal when you feel there’s a theme running through a series of separate pieces of feedback/complaints as some of it might ring true. Recent surveys have started with a compliment of “you’re talented” or “the art is beautiful” before launching into “it’s not as good as it use to be”, “it’s same-y” , “cookie cutter”, “same stuff over and over”.

I’ve thought about this a lot recently and have decided some of criticism is fair but also I think some of the harshness is perhaps due to the world we’ve lived in for the last few years particular through the pandemic when our lives have become restrictive and increasingly repetitive. I’ve noticed it in my life and seen other creators comment on it too.

For some people having consistency in content has given them comfort during uncertain times. It’s been something you feel you can still rely on. For others though the consistency has felt like repetitiveness and has just amplified the already high levels of repetitiveness they feel in their lives - at times this has been me too so it’s understandable.

I’ll try to not sound too defensive but Patreon is taking between 50 and 60 hours a month on top of 160 to 180 hours a month day job. I’m doing Patreon work when I first wake up on a week day - admin mostly, sometimes lunchtime too, art in the evenings and throughout the weekend. Some month’s I’ll nail the reward art early in the month and have it done in 4 full days of work and other months I will (despite the pressure of deadlines) abandon sketches, poses or ideas to then have to start over again because I know I’m not living up to the standards I work to.

If some month’s the work doesn’t seem as adventurous as it could be it’s meant sadly I had to play it safe to guarantee I deliver the rewards before month's end.

I think that’s most of the rant over! :)

What’s keeping me going beside the love of making art is that I desperately want (or is it need?) to become the artist/illustrator that the 19 year old me imagined I could be. Lots of well-meaning advice and a fear of letting people down set me on a path that‘a not an exact match to that - a designer.

So 25 years+ deep into that career I really want out from but in a way that means I honour the family and financial commitments that I’ve built up in that time. It’s a far harder challenge than if I were a young artist when risks aren’t high and you can live off a lot less income. I’m still determined to succeed and thank you for your support - past, present and future.

Nick