Kinks & Quirks #3 Script! Rough Draft of First Half! (Patreon)

Hello, all!

I'm happy to say I was able to finally put some good time in to script Kinks & Quirks #3! I was able to determine that the comic will be at least 12 pages, but could be 13 or 14. The script for the first half is below for you to read--but first, here's some of my thinking on the progress so far:

The first half is very focused on only a few characters, but I'm trying to make the second half more group-oriented. It's always shocking just how quick you burn through panels and pages when trying to tell a story in comic form--you think a sequence will be short and sweet and then it takes up several pages! Plus, I'm trying to work with 6 characters, so that makes it especially hard to give all the girls decent screen time.

Another thing I was pretty happy about was that a lot of your suggestions for what I should do in this comic perfectly aligned with what I already wanted to do! Momo making outfits for the girls was definitely part of it, as well as Ochako's floating quirk coming into play. Other suggestions I got are 100% going to be in the comic too... you just have to wait for the second half to see! 

But yeah, enough pre-amble--here's the rough draft for the first 6 pages of K&Q #3! I'd love to hear your input on this, btw!

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PAGE BREAKDOWN

PAGE 1 – Exposition, grabbed & stripped

a) Shot of kinky implements on wall. "Alright, we’ve been over rules, safe signals, our roles, our kinks... anything I’m forgetting?" / "Relax Yao-Momo, I think they get it!"

b) Shot of some BDSM furniture or other kinky things, with girl's shadows (or lower legs) in frame. "Are you girls sure you don’t wanna just watch us ‘til you’re more used to our play style? You are new, after all--" / "Oh come on, we didn’t get dragged all the way here just to sit by and let you have all the fun!"

c) (Shot showing all girls standing together, Momo in the center.) "Alright then, if you insist..."

d) (close up shot of mouth): "Grab em!"

e) Mina and Uraraka grabbed “wh—hey!” “Woah!”

f) Momo, ripping off clothes and revealing a domme suit underneath: “I want these two newbies stripped naked in thirty seconds, got it?” / Yes, mistress!

g) stripping

h) stripping

i) stripping

2 – Cuffing, measuring

a) Momo, creating handcuffs: “Don’t forget these!” “Thanks!” Hands grabbing a pair

b) Handcuffs going on Mina’s hands, her butt in frame. Mina: “Hey, not so tight!” Ochako in backbround, struggling.

c) Nude Ochako and Mina facing Momo (backs to viewer, Momo facing viewer) with other girls holding them in place. “What do you think, Mistress?” “Hm...”

d) tall panel of nude Mina and Ochako, cuffed and struggling: “They’re perfect.”

e) Momo pulls out measuring tape, stretching it out: “But even perfection can be measured!” “Um, what!?” (we see Momo in background, Mina/Ochako from shoulders up in midground, and girls with measuring tapes in foreground.)

f) Mina and Ochako measured by the girls who are calling out their measurements/making comments as they go. “Mina’s a 37 around the bust!” “So big!” “Ochako’s a 26 from crotch to neck!” Girls blushing, looking flustered.

3 – Separated

a) “45 body measurements later...” Mina and Ochako on their knees, surrounded by the girls in various positions. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Girl pinching Ochako’s cheek: “Aww, you to aren’t used to other girls being so familiar with your bodies, are you?” Momo making sketches on a piece of paper, with written down measurements next to her.

b) Close up of girls pressing in on Mina/Ochako, two of the girls holding Mina/Ochako’s faces. “Well, now that we’ve really gotten to know our new friends, it’s our turn to show you a bit about ourselves...”

c) Faces pushed together into a kiss. “But before we take you for ourselves, show us how a cute couple says their goodbyes!”

d) Making out, Mina leaning back/Ochako on top.

e) Mina whispering in Ochako’s ear: “You doing okay?” Ochako: “Yeah, I feel like I’m...”

f) Uraraka floating in the air. “Floating?” “Ooops! Sorry...” Other girls laughing

4 – Separation

a) Tongue wraps around Ochako’s neck.

b) Ochako yanked down so she’s floating level with Tsu. Tsu: “Don’t want you to float off/where do you think you’re going/Going somewhere?” “Ochako: “Uh...”

c) Panel of Tsu walking towards black door, dragging the floating Ochako behind her like a balloon. “I call dibs on Ochako!/You’re coming with me, Ochako!/I can’t wait to taste you, Ochako!” Ochako: WHAT!?” Mina’s head in forefround. Mina: “Hey, bring my girlfriend back, frog girl!”

d) Voice behind Mina: “Don’t you think you’ve got bigger things to worry about?”

e) Tooru, Jirou and Momo standing over Mina, behind her. Momo creating something, Jirou dangling a leash/collar, Tooru getting undressed. “Seems someone needs to teach you some discipline!” We can see a vent in the background.

f) Zooming in on vent in background. Dialgoue: “Come along, Ms. Ashido! We want you to try something on...” “Oh, and you’re not gonna burn us if we put anything in you, right?” “Hey! I happen to have excellent control of my quirk, thank you very much!”

g) Zoomed in even more on the vent. Voice coming from the vent: “heheheh...”

5 – Ochako & Tsu: tongue kiss, Ochako tied with tongue, Tsu climbs on her floating body

a) Tsu: “I’ve been looking forward to getting you all to myself, Ochako. Are you nervous?” “A bit...” “Well, don’t worry, cutie. I know how to please any woman...” “I-I’m ready...”

b) Tsu and Ochako kiss. Closed eyes.

c) Ochako’s eyes go wide, gagging sounds. Tsu looking mischevious.

d) Their mouths open, we see the tongue deep in Uraraka’s mouth, her eyes rolling.

e) Tongue comes out, Uraraka coughing, drool everywhere. “Good girl! You took that way better than the other girls!”

f) “Now, let’s really get started!” Tongue wrapping around Ochako. She looks down at her body, stupefied.

g) SOME TIME LATER: Ochako in a strict, spread-legged hogtie (tied with Tsu’s tongue, still floating, with Tsu on top of her. Tsu: “You taste delicious, Ochako.

6 – Ochako & Tsu: licking feet, penetration

a) “...And I already know which part tastes best!” Tsu licking Ochako’s feet.

b) “...On the other hand, I haven’t tried every part of you yet...” Tsu with Ochako’s foot in mouth, but her tongue inching towards Ochako’s nethers.

c) Ochako shuddering “It’s so slimy!”

d) “All the better to penetrate you wit, my dear!” tongue insertion

e) full shot of everything happening: full hogtie, Tsu crouched on top, fingering herself, foot in mouth, tongue penetration. Ochako moaning

f) Loud yell from off panel, both girls stop, eyes wide.

g) Ochako: “Was that Mina?”

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Do you guys think I should post the second half of the script when it's done, or just leave it on that cliffhanger and let the remaining pages be a surprise? Please let me know!

Anyway, I have the next several pages worked out already, but those ones are much more likely to be changed around. These first 6 pages are pretty much gonna be how things play out, minus a few tweaks. Hope you like it so far! Would love to know what you think I've got a few things I need to do, but I'll start sketching page 1 as soon as I can! :)

Geknebelt~