ENDHAWKS virgin!Hawks silly thread fic (Patreon)

NOTE: LOOK, I know I'm bordering obsession BUT
1) I've been unable to enjoy this ship for so long and now I have to catch on all the time I lost (and it's also very therapeutic 😂)
2) SASHA (@spacenipnops) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, I SWEAR
3) I'm pretty damn worried that Hori is going to K word one of them soon, so Iet me live the dream till it lasts 🙈 And please enjoy this silly fic if that's your thing!!

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Somewhere along the lines, Enji convinces himself Hawks is a bit of a whore who's sleeping around with every pro hero that as much as glances his way. He has his reasons to believe so, after all Hawks is an incorrigible flirt and everyone seems eager to fall his prey.

Everyone except Enji himself, of course. He has no time to play this little game of his (though Hawks tries, god knows how he tries), and despite the fact that he has learned to respect and even admire his fellow number two, this is a side of him that Enji struggles not to judge harshly.

It’s not that he’s a bigot. But damn it, work is work, and being a hero, the best possible hero, is something so ingrained in Enji that he can hardly digest such a lack of professionalism. Isn't Hawks worried that his fleeting affairs could ruin his working relationship?

How can he be so shallow? And why, god why, does Enji have to witness apparently every single attempt Hawks makes to seduce someone? Isn't his own utterly depressing sexual life hard enough on him already, for heaven’s sake?

Deep down, he knows the unseemly sight of Hawk’s bedroom eyes shouldn’t be so aggravating to him, especially when they’re directed to someone else, and still. It stirs a whole baggage worth of emotions he’s nowhere near ready to unpack, yet.

And so he silently seethes, welcoming irritation over self-awareness, because despite how much he’s trying to better himself, that’s always been his way, his only way. If only Enji knew how far from the truth his clouded judgment has taken him.

It gets to the point that one day, during a joint patrol, Keigo feels like the time has come to correct him, because though funny at first, the old man is seriously starting to become a little too cranky and uptight every time the both of them happen on the path of another colleague.

Sure, Keigo could tone down the playful attitude a bit, and maybe bat his eyes a little less at Edgeshot who's standing before them, but c’mon, that’s his only way to vent the frustration that’s kind of literally eating him alive! It’s spring, for fuck’s sake. Endeavor-san could cut him a break.

But he has no idea of what that means for Keigo, obviously. Keigo knows as much. He’s been exceptionally cautious to not let anything slip, but it’s becoming hard. Especially when the very man who has his stupid bird heart in a chokehold looks at him in such a reproachful way.

As soon as Edgeshot ends their chat and bids his goodbye, Endeavor scoffs and huffs at Keigo, and Keigo is pretty sure the old man is on the verge of calling him out here and there and telling him he’s a hopeless fucking slut (which, welp, fine, he wouldn’t hate that much).

So, to save the situation before it truly creates a rift between them, Keigo sighs, dropping his head and placing his hands on his hips in frustration. 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵, he thinks, as his wings bat their discomfort.

"Huh, Enji-san. Not that it’s any of your business but… Well. I dunno what got into your head, but the fact that I flirt around a bit doesn't mean I'm fucking the whole hero department".

Keigo doesn’t glance up to see the disbelieving look the other is surely gracing him with. All he can do is add more quietly, as he clears his throat in a fist and scrunches his nose, like he’s actually embarrassed to admit that, in all honesty: "Hawks mate for life, you know".

Enji’s eyes widen. His nostrils flare. No, he didn’t know that. He had no goddamn idea. He stays silent, though, and Hawks fidgets a little under the weight of his gaze, with his bushy brows furrowed, cheeks flushed and eyes diverted in an uncharacteristically genuine grimace.

Enji’s flames flicker. He blinks through the heat on his face that he’s not entirely sure is coming from his quirk alone.

Hawks has never mentioned having a significant other. Enji is pretty sure he’d know, what with the fact that since Hawks moved to Shizuoka, they’ve been joined at the hip. They’ve been collaborating more often than not, and have even spent some of their off-time together.

Hawks is the closest thing to a friend he’s ever had, and surely by now, Hawks would have told him all about his life partner, if he had one. Enji also figures Hawks wouldn't be so eager to waste his evenings drinking with him if he were in a committed relationship with a 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦.

So, Enji concludes, he doesn’t have one. And if he doesn’t have one…
The realization downs on him like a guillotine.
Hawks is a flirt, he’s a player and a maddening naughty brat… but he’s also a virgin. And Enji is so, so fucking stupid.  

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Enji wants to apologize. Of course, he doesn't actually do that. He resorts to begrudgingly suggesting they end the patrol at an izakaya, which surely counts as something, given the way Hawks hurls a fist to the sky in a ridiculous imitation of All Might (or himself, he's not sure).

They end up slightly drunk on shochu and umeshu, sitting on the floor of a private room, but that’s hardly anything new. Hawks is the one who usually invites him, though, and the fact that this time was the other way around seems to have put the bird in a weird high spirit.

He’s slouching, contently sipping his plum liquor whereas Enji is trying to maintain a proper seiza without swinging too much. Hawks giggles and slaps his arm with the back of a hand.

“Look at us! Ain’t it funny, the top two heroes of Japan sexually frustrated like a pair of squirming salmons”.
Enji grouches. What kind of comparison is that, even?
“I’m not frustrated, Hawks”.

“Sure you’re not, big guy. The last time you got laid was probably when ma boy Shoto was conceived, but ya ain’t frustrated, no sir”. Enji simply shifts in his seat. Hawks nearly loses his. “Oh my god, for real Enji-san?”.
“Mind your fucking business”, he hisses through his teeth.

Hawks recovers enough to gawk at him.
“You’re unbelievable! You could at least do something about your situation! You could literally have anyone you wanted!”, he stresses.
Enji highly doubts that.
“You could as well”, he replies just to steer the conversation from himself.

Then he pours himself another glass of shochu, feeling like this talk strongly requires one.
“Have you even tried to search for a suitable…mate?”, he tries to ask.
Hawks bursts out laughing.
“What’s so funny?!”, Enji fumes. Here’s what he gets for trying to be considerate!

Hawks is literally on the point of rolling on the tatami floor.
“I already found my mate, old man!”, he wheezes, trying his best to recompose himself, going as far as drying a tear from a crinkled eye.
“Then why–...?”, Enji starts, confused.

Hawks’ smile widens. Enji knows better.
“He doesn’t want me”.

Enji’s brows set into a deep frown. He places the glass back on the table without taking a sip.
“He must not be the right person, then”.
“You don’t understand”, Hawks chuckles, uncharacteristically softly. “He is. He is everything to me. I can’t imagine ever loving someone else”.



Enji's throat burns, though the liquor stays untouched on the table.
“Have you… tried conveying these feelings?”, he can’t help but ask.
Hawks snorts.
“Have you?”, Enji insists with a glower.

“It’s complicated”, Hawks sighs, stretching his arms over the low table. “He’s not exactly emotionally available. And aside from that, he’s probably straight. Just my luck! Guess I’ll die a virgin, after all”.

Enji’s jaw juts out.
“You really sure it’s him?”.
“Yep”, Hawks replies, popping the P. Then he twirls a finger near his temple. “My birdbrain knows. It doesn’t want anyone else”.

Enji takes some time to study his own hands clasped over his kneeling legs.
“If you’re so sure he’s your mate, you should try to pursue him”, he finally concludes.
“No way! I’d rather die a virgin for real than to be rejected by him!”.

Enji can’t wrap his (admittedly buzzed) head around the whole thing.
“Why on Earth are you so adamant you’d be rejected? It’s not like you to be so hesitant. What happened to the brat who said that when he wants something, he can’t help but take it?”.

Hawks gapes at him like 𝘩𝘦 is being the unreasonable one.
“This is a whole different matter!”.
Enji grunts, unimpressed.
“You’re a pitiful sight”, he deadpans, making Hawks scoff in a huff, with a strange light dancing in his eyes.

“If I'm oh-so-pitiful, you could offer to punch my V card yourself”, Hawks sneers, giving a stinging poke to Enji's waist. Enji automatically engulfs Hawk’s taloned finger with his hand. For some reason, his mind takes longer than it should to process that he has to let it go.

“I can’t”, he mutters, eventually opening his palm. Hawks is taken aback by his tone.
“I know that, I was just jok–”.
“You should be with the one who’d truly make you happy”, Enji interrupts him, seriously. “You deserve as much”.

Hawks stares at him, his usually droopy eyes open wide and so golden. A pretty blush slowly creeps its way from his neck and Enji tells himself it's from the alcohol he consumed, it must be. Hawks finally lets out a shaky breath, dropping his cheek to his bent knee and hugging it.

“Not fair, Enji-san”, he says with a thin voice. He bites his lips. “This won’t do. This way, you’ll make me want to actually push my luck and court y–him”.

Enji blinks through his own alcohol haze. Then he grumbles.
“That’s what I’ve been telling you from the start! Are you slow or something, boy?”.

“Can I really do that?”, Hawks chuckles, and he sounds stupidly awed. Enji wonders if the bird really drank too much.
“Of course you can. He’d be a fool if he actually rejected you”. Not that he’s any less intoxicated. Otherwise, why the hell would he have said that?

But Enji doesn’t regret it that much when Hawks’ smile grows sweeter than the plum liquor he’s so fond of.
“I’ll be holding on to that, number one”.

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It's a quiet, sunny morning the next time they end up walking side by side. They’re not patrolling, but coming back from a press conference. They’re both dressed in civilian clothes, suits to be exact, though Hawks has long since discarded his blazer and has rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

The salty wind of the harbor blows against Enji’s face, bare from flames. The smell isn’t the greatest thing, but still the air is somehow refreshing, after having to bear for hours with the stuffy AC in the conference room. He still hates having to deal with that kind of thing.

He’s about to reply to something Hawks said, when his colleague suddenly takes flight and hops down the balustrade that runs over the rocky beach below. Enji calls after him, worried that his wings might have sensed some sort of peril, though the harbor seems silent and peaceful.

And it truly is peaceful, because as soon as Enji leans over the railing, he finds Hawks crouching by the sea, with his sneakers discarded and dress pants rolled up, instead of fighting within an inch of his life or saving some drowning little girl.

Enji raises his eyes to the clear sky and counts to ten before deciding to proceed without the brat, rather than jumping down himself and bringing him back by the ear. He hasn’t even walked a dozen steps when a stronger gust of wind tells him the bird has come back on his own.

Hawks taps his shoulder. He’s hovering in the hair, a hand behind his back in a childish attempt to hide something, and a tight smirk is dancing on his lips. Enji follows him with a frown as Hawks lowers to the ground, slowly, carefully, like he’s a predator ready to strike.

Enji shifts his weight on his feet and briefly ponders if he should be worried.
“Your hand, please”, Hawks demands.
“Hah?”.
Hawks raises his empty own expectantly, with his palm up. Enji huffs in annoyance but then lays his hand over Hawk's smaller one.

Hawks lips twitch. Enji has no idea if in a suppressed smile or a grimace. And he has no time to muse on it further because the next second, Hawks is placing a perfectly rounded shard of glass in his palm. Enji is puzzled.

“What the hell is this”.
“A gift”.
“It’s a piece of junk”.
“Ouch, Enji-san”, Hawks winches with a casual smile. But then his wings flutter just a fraction, in a way Enji has learned to decipher as anxious. Hawks tilts his head, his gaze becoming impossibly sharp. “You don’t like it?”.

Enji glances at the rounded shard in his hand. He strokes it with a thumb. It’s smooth and shiny and of a turquoise shade of blue that makes him foolishly wonder if perhaps Hawks went out of his way to retrieve it because it reminded him of Enji’s own eyes.

With a noncommittal shrug, Enji pockets it, and Hawks... simply beams. It’s a strange sight. Enji has never seen him react in such a surprised and genuine manner. He looks radiant and a bit overwhelmed. Enji scratches his nape and goes back to walking on their path.

Hawks follows immediately, resuming to yap incessantly about this and that like he always does and earning only a few grunts in reply. Something feels different, though, and Enji can't place what, exactly, as he throws a furtive glance toward him and finds him grinning like a fool.

As they keep walking, Enji distractedly puts his hands in his pockets, and his left fingers brush the odd piece of glass.
If that's all it took to make his little bird so happy, he’d be more than ready to accept a whole harbor full of silly stones, for goodness’ sake. 

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