『超嫌いです』 (Pixiv Fanbox)

the reason that the RPG project did not start yet is because of me desu.

I want to confess something and this is something that you guys need to know desu.

normal artist or standard hentai artist would already have everything ready by now desu.

I said that I need strong supporters,

but that might be just one of the failed theories or an excuse desu.

This is something that you guys need to know,

If you guys are here for the RPG project ne.

before I start working on Pixiv,

I already made a decision about what type of person I want to be desu.

there are 2 options for me to pick desu.

a nice guy who is going to be love and support by everyone

or

a selfish guy who going to be hated by a lot of people

I always stand on the human flow side desu.

follow the rules and be a good person of the social system desu.

this is the type of person I have been for the rest of my life desu.

I would never try to be a selfish guy before in my life desu.

but the reason that makes me try to be a selfish person is that,

I plan to punish myself for betraying my lover desu.

1 full year with her my life is need nothing more desu.

I forget about the Manga the hentai completely desu.

I am the type of person who swears to myself that I will never hurt a women desu.

but in the end, the first woman I hurt is the one that I love desu.

when I cut her out of my life, I become a person who can cut everything desu.

I think that is why I can change into a different person desu.

in short, heartless person desu.

this is something that I plan not to talk about because it hurt desu.

but lately, I realize that this is not a wound but a lesson desu.

when I go to college,

I start to be honest to myself,

asking a lot of questions,

stand against the human flow,

to the point that has the courage and little bit of knowledge,

to fight against the system desu.

because I have no reason to live,

without realizing I put myself in danger in all life or death situations desu.

but

the result gives me a new perspective desu.

when I become selfish I also want to be alone desu.

but what I doing just happens to be a good thing for a few people too desu.

people who hiding, people who live in fear, people who have no choice,

and people who think that I am useful for them desu.

and before realizing I already become their hope and their shield just like when I used to be a nice guy desu.

but the nice guy will never be able to see this side desu.

I found people that they do not afraid of me being honest,

I found people that I can share the path with,

it hard to find but they exist desu.

that is why

I do not need a lot of followers or a lot of fan desu.

this is why I am told everyone that I am being picky desu.

but to make it fair to this support system I going to prove my worth first desu.

----

I plan to be toxic to other artists from my country and complain about how much I am jealous of them but end up feeling like do not want to do that anymore desu.

this guy is a nice guy who does the marketing and has a lot of alliance desu.

see him already got animation and game make me feel bad to you guys who support me desu. but he is not my rival desu. just someone I despite and feel sorry for desu.

he has 10 years to prove but just ends up stick with the standard desu.

and If I can shout at him I would say [What have you been doing the entire time] desu.

he just one of the people that create someone like me desu.

not even worth talking about desu. when I arrived at Pixiv he is the first person I blocked by myself because I do not want to see his work desu.

----

maybe I make a wrong decision about all of this after all desu.

but I want you guys to know that If I have a chance to return to make a decision again,

I will choose to be a bad guy a selfish person again with no doubt desu.

I can not guarantee that my policy is the right solution for the RPG project or not desu.

but this is the life that I want to spend desu.

this is the type of person you guys have been supported desu.

things would be easier for me to create the RPG project

If only I pick to be a nice guy and follow the rules desu.

I can see that some people here are also people from my country desu.

people from my country are kind desu. too kind desu.

If I told them the truth I would get some credit from them desu.

that is why I just want to prove myself through the work to win their support desu.

this is also why we do not get everything ready yet desu.

but this is also making me more confident for the RPG project desu.