A Twerk From Gnome Job (Patreon)

One hurdle in writing this story was depicting a character who twerks to get herself off in a sexy way. Original idea was a goblin who twerks her frustrations at work, and I gradually worked it out as a gnome since I specifically designed them to have a hyper-sensitive sense of touch. So a frustrated, punky gal like Beads was made. I made it a short story to get right to the goods, so didn’t bother with a preview doc, but the concept it definitely hot and a strangely sexy visual to work with.

The REAL challenge of the story was picking what combination of twerk and work pun to go with for a title. Twerk from Home, Twerkin’ Hard or Hardly Twerkin’.... I’ve established before, but writers will do a LOT for the sake of landing a pun or for the challenge/petty vengeance (I’m more about the first). That probably means I’ll make more of it just to use the puns.

The store name got tricky for a bit too, and I felt like a half-goblin at the end so I tossed in a tin cameo from The Goblin Teens.

Cart Mart was one of the “little bit of everything” department stores. Even with magic, monsters and modern conveniences in the world, people still needed toilet paper and tupperware. It was one of the least glorious jobs one could hope for, stocking shelves and checking out customers, but the company was well-off enough to pay and treat the employees decently. There was only so much they could do about the job itself though.

“Excuse me. Would you be able to get some of those blue ones down for me?”

Beads looked up at the scrawny old yeti woman. She was a big puff of wilting, bluish white fur with a shawl over the top. She looked like one of those dogs shaped like a mom for all Beads could see.

“Uh… the ones up there?”

Beads pointed up at the blue coat hangers, draped over their spot on the store’s top rack.

“Yes, please,” the old woman confirmed cluelessly.

“The ones on the top shelf.”

“If you could.”

“Umm…”

Beads looked down at herself and back at the yeti woman. Even as a doddering old lady, she was stooped over at something around 5’6”. Beads was a 3’2” gnome heavy with pale peach-colored freckles on her fair skin. She had the plump features common to her kind, with a broad, rounded nose and some frizzy, messy, frosting-pink hair that tended to poof out on either side of her head. She had a small, tasteful ring pierced into her bottom lip and a lot of curves packed into her stubby body. Thick ass and thighs kept her in a far bigger size of work slacks than her height would suggest, her buns reaching out even wider than her frizzed up hair. A plump, wide chest left her black t-shirt clinging tightly to her grapefruit tits and pushed out her dark green Cart Mart employee vest from her slender stomach. She was almost half the old lady’s height.

“I uh… I could get the ladder. But you’re already taller than me so…”

The old lady stared at her completely unphased. Beads let a groan creek out.

“I’ll be right back,” she gurgled.

The gnome slumped off, fetched the company’s ladder, and circled back to clamber up it and pass the elderly customer her item. Even with the boost, she had to get up on her toes and stick out her big, jiggling booty to reach it with her short stature.

“Anything else I can get for you?” the curvy gnome forced.

She could feel her glutes tightened anxiously, perking up her buns subconsciously.

“Oh that’s all, thank you.”

The old yeti dropped the hangers into her basket and went on her way. Beads unclenched and sighed. Some customers just needed assistance. Some needed it while she was busy with something else and didn’t get what they were interrupting. At least she wasn’t one of the ones making shit worse just because they were shitty.

“You there. I’ve been waiting forever!” an impatient woman’s voice interrupted her again.

Beads made a sour wince before she turned around. A stuffy-looking milf of a centaur stood beside a loaded shopping cart with a scowl on her face.

“Waiting for what now?” the clueless gnome asked.

“I’ve been waiting in the footwear section for twenty minutes now. I need a set of your one-size fits all shoes and I need them tonight.”

Beads blinked blankly and shook her head. “Oh. Yea, the magic ones. I don’t have the key for those, so I’ll have to go get one of the guys in that department…”

“Are you serious? You’re pushing it off on someone else after I already waited this long!”

“I… literally can’t. Magic stuff stays locked up in the back, soooo… if you’ll wait here a sec, I can…”

“That’s just lazy. Are you telling me you wasted my time with you?! It’s this kind of irresponsible behavior that’s why you’re stuck in a dead end job like this! I ought to report this place for being suck a-”

Beads tried to tune her out, nodding silently as she watched her mouth move. She wasn’t the type to get nervous or scared, but she had a bad habit. In bad situations, she tended to blast some club music in the back of her mind. O.G. Ogre was a favorite to fall back on, and Turnin’ Twerks was a classic that got her into the stuff in general. That combined with her impatient fidget had led to her odd habit of twerking her stress away. She was already subtly bouncing on her toes just from letting the bitch rant at her, getting her curves jiggling in the familiar and assuring way. Even in her tight pants, her cheeks were rubbing and bumping together in a muted rhythm. Her sensitive gnomish skin left a steady tingling coming through her hips with each bounce.

“What are you doing?! Are you even listening?” the centurion woman demanded.

Beads blinked out of her subconscious music and started up at her.

“Yea. So did you want me to go get the guy with the keys for you, or…?”

The woman’s face scowled and grew even redder. She opened her mouth to go off when a low and steadier voice spoke up behind her.

“Hey, ma’am. I’m the manager on duty. I can help out from here.” Druu offered.

The tall and thin dark elf with shaved short white hair had the button-up shirt and lighter green vest to prove it, too. Beads sighed in relief and rolled her eyes, but she was still bobbing on her toes and wiggling her hips.

“Thanks, man,” she sighed, relaxing a bit.

“No problem. I knew you were stressing when I heard the clapping from two aisles over.”

Beads pursed her pierced lips as she realized she was still bouncing in place, noticing the  clap of her cheeks going to the beat in her head. Druu gave her a tiny dismissive wave.

“Go take care of that. I got this,” the elf assured her.

Beads trotted off towards the back as she heard the centaur shopper go off.

“I’ve been waiting all night and that runter wasn’t willing to help at all!”

“Okay. Well, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to absolutely fuck off,” Druu explained in his usual patient tone.

Beads found her spot in the back of the clearance aisle, where nobody tended to go looking for outdated Christmas decorations or clothes with untrendy slogans besides the occasional goblin. She huffed through her round nose and braced her hand on the back wall while she took out her phone. She took out her earbuds and popped one in before planting both hands and throwing her ass back to the beat of some Rageaholic Tonic.

“Dumb fuckin’ bitch and your fuckin’ rich girl horseshoes,” she cursed to herself before throwing it back as hard as she could.

She bounced and shook in place, her ass wobbling around like two scoops of jelly barely attached to her hips. The chubby cheeks rubbed together while bumping against the back of her thighs, and every one of the harsh bounces sent an intense tingle through her body. She started to moan and pant in between her grumbled threats and lyrics as her twerking rapidly turned her on.

Gnomes had a famously sensitive sense of touch, having evolved sheltered by machinery, magic, and gas-filtering bodysuits. Their thin skin made it to where they could orgasm from a firm groping or even a long enough series of head pats. Beads was happy to capitalize on how easy that was to get herself off.

“Stupid job. Stupid customers. Fuckin’ pain in my fat assin’ work gettin’ me… nnf~!”

Beads bit her lip, her heart racing as she rubbed her tongue against her piercing. The mix of pain and smooth steel against her mouth momentarily short-circuited her brain, making her mouth hang open in a witless gawk. Her eyes rolled as she tongued the ring lovingly while the foul-mouthed lyrics blasted into one ear like dirty talk.

In her mostly isolated aisle, Beads bounced her hips like she was humping the air. Just the rubbing of her chubby thighs sent a steady surge of pleasure through her body. She arched her back, mashing her breasts against the wall so that rubbed her hard nipples on top of everything else. Her intense jiggling and twerking made her feel like she was being plowed in the corner of the store, washing away all the negative associations with mind-melting arousal. She huffed desperately for air as her tight pussy leaked and soaked into the front of her panties. Even that tingling wetness was one more thing to make her moan and slump against the wall, using all her fading focus to keep her big booty bouncing. Her pants had even slid down enough to show her matching black panties, wedged between her ass cheeks that seemed intent on twerking their way right out of her pants.

“Hey… Beads? You okay?”

Beads barely recognized the voice in her horny twerking stupor. Behind her in a similar uniform was Nix, a five-goot, coppery-skinned half-goblin girl. She was a newcomer and a part-time college student, staring blankly at the ass-shaking gnome getting ready to cum herself stupid.

“YEAAAA~! Just… jamming. Sup?” she managed to mumble out.

“I’m still finding my way around here. Do you know where the paper towels go?”

Nix patted on the pushcart she had loaded with boxes. Beads didn’t even slow down with the noisy clapping of her buns.

“Yea, uh… aisle… (fuck)... uhhhh… back of the paper goods. Not cleaning like you’d think.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

Nix started to wheel her cart past her when Beads gave a needy moan.

“Yeanoproblem. Would you mind giving me a quick spank while you’re here?”

“Uh… sure?”

Nix gave her a half-hearted smack on one of her bobbing cheeks. Beads immediately spasmed as her doughy cheek flattened out for a moment and she clenched her thighs together.

“MMMMM GOD YEA! ThanksomuchNix!” she ranted.

The demigoblin shrugged it off and went along. She had her share of goblinoid urges so she didn’t bother questioning others and their own. She rolled her cart of goods away while Beads shook and jiggled in place, gushing a warm stream of cum down her leg. Her top half collapsed against the wall, drooling much like her pussy was below. Her eyes fluttered as she ragdolled there, held up by her tits and face while her hips kept firmly slamming up and down to make her booty quake to a slow stop. She panted as her mind seemed to melt out through her groin, which was way better than she was feeling a few minutes ago.

“Uhnnn… okay… back to the shitworks,” she grunted, forcing herself back up on her thick but shaky legs.

Beads knew she had some clean panties stashed in her locker for when she got overstimulated, whether it was on purpose or not. The stubby, notably less disgruntled employee figured she’d wasted enough time for her boss to tell off the rowdy customer and that she should get back to half-assing her way through the day.

Then she heard a crash and something breaking a few aisles over. She grimaced and popped her earbud back in with a sigh.

“Maybe one more song,” Beads whispered, launching her hips into another meaty clap that cracked open her raging libido once more.