A fairly p*rny Wych (Patreon)

Hey all,

So it's that time again, time for another Warhammer 40K gal. A dark Eldar this time.

To explain a bit about the dark Eldar. They broke off from their regular, vanilla kind sometime before the great fuckening, which is what I like to call the event where they managed to murder-orgy an entire new chaos god into existence smack bang in the middle of 'em.

The vanilla Eldar were actually pretty concerned about their race's ever more... questionable tastes and habits, and warned against the dangers to mostly deaf ears. So the more cautious of them hopped onto giant world ships known as craftworlds, and got as far away from the centre of their galaxy-spanning space empire before things turned a whole lot murder-y, so murder-y the torture fuckers couldn't handle it themselves while an army of demons played xylophone on their ribs while using their eye sockets as makeshift cock holsters... except the cocks were knives and tentacles, and the brand new god tore their own pantheon assunder above them.

The craftworlds far enough away, thankfully managed to avoid the worst of it, but their souls were still doomed.

As were the souls of those that did not get out of dodge but managed to get through it anyway by some gigantic amount of cosmic luck.

Most of course, realized the error of their ways somewhere around the 1 second mark post-birth of Slaanesh (that's the god the boned into existence if you forgot), and swiftly joined their craftworldian brethren once they could.

Some, more stubborn ones, somehow didn't. They were too lost in their way of decadence and degeneracy, their minds and senses fried from all the excesses they partook in, and unable to turn back. The rest of the more sane Eldar didn't think too kindly on that of course, and those survivors that could not, or would not, change their ways of murderrape while tripping out on bathsalts fled into a realm known as the webway, and from then on came to be known as the dark Eldar.

The webway, is a series of tunnels through space and time, bridging faraway points in realspace together in far shorter, more manageable distances. Constructed by the old ones (the same ones the necron btfo'd) and inherited by the Eldar. It is a far more stable, secure, and safer way to get around than the very deadly warp travel us humans rely on.

And it is inside of this web of tunnels that in some secret corner none could find the dark Eldar hid away from everyone else to continue on with their rapey ways, in a city known as Commoragh. They exist mainly as pirates and raiders across the galaxy now, hopping in and out of webway gates to pillage and plunder some until too many people really wanting them to stop show up and they hop back through those gates back to their super secret city. Making them at the same time less of a unified threat than the fledgling T'au empire represents, but far more universal, as they can come from anywhere.

I'll explain more on how their Commoraghian ways work later with another dark Eldar chick somewhere down the line. So for the moment I just want to focus on the particular kind you got strutting her stuff in front of you right now.

As the title says, she is a wych. The wych cults are gladiatorial organizations of fighters found all throughout dark Eldar-dom, where they excel (and revel) in murderous violence and bloodshed. Being gladiators, they often put on very bloody shows for the other dark Eldar to furiously masturbate/torture to in excessively painful dances of violence that could make Khorne proud... were it not for the fact that they're doing it for the wrong reasons and Khorne HATES that, you should just do that for its own sake, not to sate some kind of weird demented desire... which he hates ever so slightly less.
Slaanesh of course is all too pleased, and would really like to join, which the dark Eldar then don't want because then she'll do that thing she did to the entire rest of their race which was somehow worse than what they are doing right now.

When they're not putting up these shows for their own amusement, wyches often make up a large portion of a raiding band of dark Eldar pirates alongside their more range specialized, better armoured brethren Kabalite warriors, where they will carry an array of exceedingly pointy weapons with them to rend enemies apart in the most pleasurable (read: painful) way possible, because that's what it's all about. Without killing their poor victims if they can of course, they will need to be captured and brought back to Commoragh to take part in the fun (read: torture). Something you can't do when already dead.

The rulers of wych cults are called Succubi by the way.
Make of that what you will.

SoCarter out.