Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Hatefuck (Patreon)

"Now for some ‘me’ time,” the Grinchtificer said.
But since vibe-bots were scarce, there was none to be had.

Did that stop the firbolg? Our girl simply said,
"If I can't find a vibe-bot, I'll make one instead!"

So she took an old servo, and she took out her solder.
And cackling with glee cried, “Let’s make this cane hotter!”.

Then she ordered her seaman to have her loot brought
To her private cap’s quarters. Then she banished the bots.

Then Grinchtificer said "Giddyap!" the toys started to hum
And she defiled that dainty with fragrant ‘bolg cum.

All her portholes were lit. Sparks shot to the air.
The cap’n was loud, but the cap’n don’tt care.
Even if heroes left all the way back ashore stared.

"This is toy number one," Grinchtificer hissed,
“But let’s make another!” ‘cause she was still pissed.

She slid out her loot box, which was stuffed rather tight.
But she reasoned the hatefuck was worth a small fight!

Her batteries ran low, just for a minute or two.
She charged a new pack, then sparks really flew!

For the little Brie cheese logs were rapped in soft wax,
“I doubt," she grinched, "they’ll be wanting them back!"

Then she plunged and she thrust, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole loot pile, and she schtooped every present!

Horn-comma-powder, dildongas, vibrootskis, and polearms!
Sunorads, nip-crackers, torches, glaive guisarmes!

Which she modded with mods. Then Grinchtificer, very nimbly,
Stuffed them, one by one, up her chimney.