Crystals Are Dangerous (Patreon)

Jake was having a fairly relaxing day during his summer vacation. He was hanging out at home, just enjoying a regular lazy day by his pool and playing some video games. However, his mom interrupted the tranquility by asking him to take a walk to the store to pick up a few things they were running low on.

"Jake, can you go to the store for me? I need some stuff. We're almost out of milk and orange juice," said Natalie, Jake's mom.

Sighing and pausing his game, Jake walked into the living room. "What's up, Mom?" he asked upon entering.

Natalie repeated herself, her annoyance evident at having to do so. While Jake loved his mom, he was becoming increasingly frustrated. As he grew older, he found himself tasked with more seemingly pointless and menial chores. He disliked being pulled away from his play sessions to run errands or complete random tasks.

Despite his slight whining, Jake accepted the task as he usually did. He took some money and set off on his way. Natalie seemed just as irritated having to argue with him as he was with being tasked to go.

Exiting the house, Jake started walking to the store. It was approximately a 5-minute walk to the nearest plaza with a small store. He arrived in good time, the journey taking only about 3 minutes. However, he knew the trip back would be less pleasant due to carrying groceries, which would slow him down.

Approaching one of the stores in the plaza, Jake realized he had never seen it before. It appeared to be a magic shop, something new. With some allowance from doing chores, he thought he might find inexpensive jewelry or perhaps some crystals, which he enjoyed as a bit of a nerd. He decided to check it out, as he had extra time on his hands while already there.


Upon entering the store, Jake felt like he had stumbled upon a crystal treasure trove. What caught his attention was that each crystal was within his price range and peculiarly, each had associated effects. One resembled the Emerald City from "The Wizard of Oz" and claimed to attract wealth. Another, a blue shade reminiscent of the ocean, claimed to quench thirst. Crystals promised enhanced appearance, changed hair color, or even adjusted height.

As he perused the offerings, one crystal in particular grabbed his interest. It was a pale, almost white, shade of blue, with a claim to possess the power to alter a person's age. This intrigued Jake. If it worked, he thought, he could escape his chores for his mom, just as he did when he was a little kid. After all, who would send a young child alone to the store? He approached the shopkeeper and inquired about obtaining that specific crystal.

"A fine choice, my lad," remarked the shopkeeper, earning a smile of satisfaction from Jake. "Thanks, mister," he responded.

The shopkeeper's reply was simple, "No problem."

Returning his focus to the purchase, Jake asked, "Uh, so how does it work?" The shopkeeper was pleased that Jake wasn't impulsively buying like many of his store's patrons. He explained, "This stone allows you to become any age you desire, as long as it won't be fatal – both being too young and too old are off-limits. Once activated, everyone around you will assume you've always been that age." The shopkeeper's explanation tapered off, creating a moment of silence before Jake inquired further, "Well, how do you activate it?"

Momentarily taken aback, the shopkeeper realized he hadn't covered that crucial detail. "Ah, that's quite essential to know, isn't it?" he acknowledged. "The process is fairly simple. Hold the stone, concentrate on it, and presto – you're a different age."

Surprised by the simplicity, Jake exclaimed, "That's all? Okay, bag it up for me, please!" He harbored skepticism about the crystal's efficacy, but even if it failed to work, it still held an impressive allure. So, Jake made the purchase and exited the store. Though tempted to try the stone immediately, he decided to wait until he got home.

Jake hurried through the store, grabbing the milk and orange juice, then quickly made his way back home with the groceries and his new crystal. Upon arrival, his mom expressed gratitude for his efforts as he put the items away. Eager to try the crystal, he headed straight to his room once everything was stored. He shut the door behind him, scanning the room briefly to ensure he was alone.

His room was adorned with anime and video game posters, along with Pop figurines of his favorite characters. Gazing down at the bag containing the age crystal, he contemplated the age he should choose. Wanting to be young, he settled on subtracting 10 years from his current 16. Holding the crystal, he fixated on it, repeating the thought "I want to be 6" until his boredom led him to believe the crystal wouldn't work, despite his fervent hope that it would.

As he raised his eyes from the crystal, he realized the room appeared larger, devoid of anime and game posters. Instead, a babyish wallpaper featuring planes and cars covered the walls against a baby blue backdrop. Glancing at his hands, he recognized that the crystal had worked. His bed had transformed into one for young children, complete with side rails to prevent falling. Hearing approaching footsteps, he swiftly pocketed the crystal and noticed he now wore overalls, puzzling but seemingly appropriate for his new age.

Without knocking, his mother entered the room, sighing, "Sweetie, I turn around for one minute and you wander off." Taking him downstairs, she suggested they watch TV together. While it lacked the freedom he desired, at least he wasn't burdened with chores. Settling on the couch, he tried to distract himself from the dull soap opera his mother watched by playing with toys on the floor.

However, his mother shattered his peaceful distraction by asking him to fetch her a drink. This was precisely what he had hoped to avoid by reverting his age. Pretending not to hear, he remained engrossed in his toys. When she repeated her request, he clung to the crystal in his pocket, hoping to escape the chore. He whispered, "If I'm half my current age, she won't ask me that." Focusing on the crystal, he chanted mentally, "I want to be 3."

Sitting there, his clothing transformed, becoming softer and more uniform. He sensed his pants and shirt melding into a single garment, his underwear feeling different, almost puffy and kinda squishy.


Looking around, he immediately noticed that he remained seated on the floor but within an enclosed space. He was situated inside an open-topped playpen crafted from soft fabric, which felt exceptionally cozy. Clutching the crystal, he realized he could no longer fully enclose it within his hand. This realization was interrupted by an odd sound resembling someone chewing rubbery material. Scanning the area, he spotted a blue object barely within his peripheral vision, positioned just beneath his nose. Using his other hand, he prodded the item and discovered something in his mouth. Removing it, he found a pacifier, which he had been suckling on unknowingly. Pulling it out, a sense of guilt and near tears overwhelmed him before returning the pacifier offered him solace.

Certain of his circumstances now, he understood that he had regressed to toddlerhood, a fact he hadn't fully considered when halving his age. Nonetheless, he reasoned that this change might exempt him from chores, making it potentially tolerable. Contemplating the crystal, an idea occurred to him: he could become even younger and avoid both responsibilities and self-care. The comfort of his current state enticed him further down this path, leading him to subtract another year from his age. Concealing the crystal within his clothing, he thought, "Make me two," repeatedly in his mind.

Not much altered; he was still inside the playpen with the pacifier, now clad in a t-shirt and only his underwear. Sensing a difference, he glanced down and gasped as he saw his undergarments, blurting out, "Diapie?!" His exclamation caught the attention of his mother, startling her. Approaching the playpen, she observed Jake's predicament – a dire need for a diaper change. She also noticed the blue rock he was clutching, taking it from him as Jake's fascination with the diaper he was wearing held his attention.

Natalie examined the rock, perplexed by its presence and its origins. She recognized that it was inappropriate for Jake to have it, so she placed it on a distant countertop, out of his reach. As she did so, Jake began to voice his distress in a mix of broken baby talk and discernible words, saying, "Dat mine gimme gimme," interspersed with incoherent babble. Natalie gently responded, "Ah ah ah, that's not for babies, sweetie."

This turn of events frustrated Jake, as he grasped the magnitude of his impulsive decision. In his quest to avoid chores, he had inadvertently trapped himself as a diaper-dependent 2-year-old.

Before he could begin sulking over the foolish decision he had made, he felt himself lifted into the air as his mommy spoke, "Now, let's get you all cleaned up and into a new diaper." Jake's eyes widened, and he protested, "No diapie, notta baby, notta baby." His unusual reaction confused her, as it wasn't characteristic of him. Left with little choice, she placated him by saying, "Yeah, you're a big boy, aren't you?"

Defeated, Jake believed he deserved this situation due to his own fault. Besides, it wasn't as terrible as he initially feared; maybe this experience wouldn't be so bad. He stopped resisting, resigning himself to what was about to transpire.

As they moved away, Natalie bent down into the playpen, retrieving something and popping it into Jake's mouth. It turned out he had let the pacifier fall out and hadn't even noticed, a consequence of his current predicament. With the pacifier back in his mouth, he felt more at ease and was ready to accept whatever was to come.

Natalie carried Jake to his room, which was now outfitted with a crib, changing table, and an array of toys strewn about. The last detail he noticed was a rocking chair as he was gently placed onto the diaper changing table. His awareness centered on his impending diaper change, an event he was no longer actively resisting but certainly not anticipating.

Interestingly, the experience was less embarrassing than he initially thought. He couldn't quite fathom why he had been so concerned. The process, though slightly uncomfortable due to the cold wipes, was overall manageable. After he had been thoroughly cleaned and his old diaper discarded, he felt the new diaper positioned beneath him. The sensation of baby powder being sprinkled on his skin felt oddly pleasant. Soon, the new diaper was securely fastened, adorned with Winnie the Pooh, one of his favorite childhood characters.

With his admiration for the Winnie the Pooh diaper, he was lifted up and carried back to the living room. Placed once more in the playpen, he observed that many of the toys within were particularly juvenile, including stuffed animals, teethers, and chunky blocks adorned with unfamiliar symbols. While their meaning eluded him, he didn't deem it important. Engaging with the toys, he used stuffed animals as proxies to aid his block-building endeavors. Shaking a teether, he was delighted by the rattling sound it produced, unaware of the concept of "cool," but thoroughly absorbed in the enjoyment.

Playing in the playpen for nearly an hour, he eventually noticed rustling and saw his mommy rise from her seat, heading to the kitchen. Curiosity piqued, he stood up to peer over the edge of the playpen for a better view.

As he stood there, barely peeking over the playpen's top, a peculiar sensation overcame him. Involuntarily, he assumed a squatting posture, experiencing a relief he couldn't fully grasp. The sensation felt familiar, although he couldn't recall where or how he had felt it before. His reverie was interrupted when he caught sight of his mom entering the room, holding a glass of juice. Almost immediately, he recognized the telltale scent.

Seeing her with the glass, he silently celebrated his achievement. "Yes, I won! I didn't have to fetch the juice," he thought to himself. However, his victory turned bittersweet in an instant as his mom remarked, "Uh-oh, looks like Jakey needs his diapie changed."

The End?