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“Once again, it’s Clint Eastwood as a cop, so he is costing everyone millions of dollars.” - Chris

On this week’s We Hate Movies, our dumbest theme month yet, SHEENPRIL continues with a wild conversation on the totally outrageous Clint Eastwood movie, The Rookie! How hilariously inept is Raul Julia’s car thief mastermind? How incredible is the opening car carrier chase sequence? How great is this cast full of real-deal character actors? Did Sheen’s character really need to drive that motorcycle through the door? Couldn’t we get a little more Tom Skerritt and a lot more Lara Flynn Boyle? And what are the odds this movie was a re-worked “one last case” Dirty Harry film?

The Rookie stars Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga, Lara Flynn Boyle, Pepe Serna, Marco Rodríguez, Xander Berkeley, Tony Plana, Paul Ben-Victor, and Tom Skerritt as Eugene Ackerman; directed by Clint Eastwood.

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Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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RJ Cunningham

When Skerritt was like “ok here’s 2 million dollars, but, only thing you have to do, is forgive yourself.” And Sheen being like “fuck no” and leaving with the money elicited a cheer from me. That may have been the easiest lie to ever tell, I’m glad he didn’t. The bar scene where Sheen goes nuts, tosses that dog 40 feet, completely sucked me in for the last hour. When Sheen sees the video of Eastwood in the you-know-what scene, he makes the funniest fucking face. It’s such confused disgust. Also, what was the point of all the narrative mirroring at the end? But this movie I think proves that famous rule where having at least 2 Cheers actors in a movie makes it an automatic A+

Ray

Not quite a limousine match, but Bradshaw did rebrand himself as JBL, like a rich oil tycoon thing. And he would come in with a limousine, I'm sure someone got bounced off of it.