A Gamer's Guide 239 (Patreon)

<[Awaken.]>

An alarm in the form of his skill woke him up, the word ping-ponging through his skull with neither remorse nor mercy. The fact that his room was as dark as night didn’t help either, though a quick casting of the enlightenment spell easily banished the blackness, bringing light strong enough to make Emil’s eyes burn with pain. Well, no use in delaying the inevitable. Groaning, he began trying to push himself off of the bed, only to have his efforts thwarted by a mysterious weight. Confused more than anything else, Emil cracked his eyes wide and turned to look at his chest.

Kitty was sprawled across his chest, his covers thrown clear off. The sight froze Emil in place. Trembling, he tried to poke Kitty’s face. “Hey, uh, Kitty, would you please…?”

Muttering something about how he should never have let some young boy become a dragon-slayer, Kitty flipped himself over, flopping right back onto Emil’s chest like a particularly heavy cat. The air was instantly pressed from his lungs. Emil gasped for breath, and realized within an instant that, firstly, he did not want to die in bed, And secondly, if he didn’t get up soon, he was going to be late for his morning route. He drew in a strained breath to shout for Kitty to wake up, and was just about to grab his shoulder when…

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… Please…” Kitty whimpered, his face crunching up. “Don’t leave me… I don’t want to be alone…”

Something tightened in Emil’s chest. Reaching out, he gingerly touched Kitty’s exposed back.

Much like his namesake, Kitty leapt three feet into the air and did a somersault across the room, briefly becoming a non-entity before landing on all fours atop Emil’s desk, his face twisted into a strangely predatory grimace of fear and intimidation. His cat-like eyes darted about the room. Emil might have been more impressed if he hadn’t been busy clutching at his chest, which Kitty had used as a stepping-stool for his flight. And unlike Kitty, Emil was far from shy in displaying his pain.

Gritting his teeth, Emil sat up straight, drawing in a hissing breath. Nothing broken, as far as he could tell. At the very least, he was wide awake—and so was Kitty, by the looks of it.

Emil sighed. “You awake now, Kitty?”

For a brief moment, Kitty looked at him as though the concept of speaking eluded him, and whatever confused questions he held could be understood telepathically as long as he thought them hard enough. This strange supposition soon passed, and Kitty straightened out a little. “Um, I wasn’t… Did I… Did you…?”

Emil slid out of bed, winced at the ice-cold floors, slipped his feet into his slippers, and turned again to Kitty as he stood up. “Sully apologizes for punching you.” Seeing Kitty’s brows furrow, Emil soon added, “Ursula—the one who punched you last night.”

“The one who…?” Briefly distracted by the realization that he was still standing on top of Emil’s desk, Kitty stepped down before continuing. “Why? What’s there to apologize for?”

Heading over to the cupboards, Emil began to get changed. “You’ll have to ask her yourself, I’m afraid. If I remember today’s schedule correctly, we’ll be sharing dinner with my party, which will probably be a good time to do so.”

“Okay, but, um…” Kitty’s eyes slid over to the no-longer-made bed. “Did you…?”

Emil paused, hands hovering between the blue and orange waistcoat. “Well, I… I couldn’t let you sleep on the floor.”

“Why not?”

“Dogs sleep on the floor. You’re a human. So, you sleep in a bed. That’s not optional.”

“But I don’t need to sleep. I can just stay awake, maybe watch for intruders, keep an eye on the door…”

“...Like a guard dog?”

“Yeah!” Kitty’s expression abruptly soured. “Except, without the dog part. Just a straight-up guard, keeping you safe, making sure no one comes and steals you away…”

“I don’t know,” Emil said, tightening his corset. “Last night, you seemed pretty—umpff—quick to fall asleep. I’m not sure how effective of a guard you can be if all you do is curl up and nap.”

As Kitty stepped up behind him, holding out his hands, Emil let go of the threads, allowing Kitty to tighten them. “Well, sure,” Kitty said as he wound the laces tighter, “but I’ll have you know—if I smell the scent of a stranger, I can leap at ‘em in less than a second! Because, see, I’m not actually asleep. I don’t sleep anymore. You can’t grind your skills in your sleep, so I just meditate—really hard. It comes across as sleeping to the untrained eye, but really, I’m ready for anything.”

A thought struck Emil, and as Kitty handed him the tightened laces to be tied, he teased, saying, “I don’t know—last night, I’m pretty certain I could hear you grinding your teeth in your sleep.”

“I wasn’t sleeping!” Kitty chided. “But if I was… Well, there may not be a tooth resistance skill, but if there was, I’d have it at the immunity level by now!”

“I don’t doubt it,” Emil said with light humor. Putting on the rest of his outfit, he turned to Kitty, dressed to the teeth. He looked his friend up and down. “Will you be joining me on my morning route in pajamas, or could I interest you in some proper clothes?”

Kitty’s jaw dropped open. He looked down at himself, and then up at Emil’s closet, and then finally at Emil himself. He tried to play it cool but obviously failed. “W—well, um… If it isn’t too much trouble, then…”

Emil chuckled and stepped away from the closet, giving Kitty space. “Pick whatever you want.”

And that he did. Unfortunately, Kitty’s sense of fashion was a bit skewed, leaving him to try on wildly mismatched outfits, each one a step more bizarre and outlandish than the last. Finally, once reminded that their time was limited and he’d have to wear those clothes all day, Kitty settled on a simple pair of pants, an ordinary shirt, and a nifty double-breasted vest. No socks, and no shoes. Much like the last time Emil had seen Kitty in proper clothes, he made a point to compliment his friend on it. Once Kitty stopped being bashful about it, they headed out, with only a few minutes to spare.