September Story - LoZ: Farts of the Wild - A Princess Lets Loose (3) (Patreon)

(It's been a hot minute since I played BotW so if I get some backstory slightly wrong, sue me. I'll edit it later.)

Link had been to the city of Hyrule more times than he could count. He knew every nook and cranny like the back of his hand. He kept having to remind himself that this was Zelda’s first time. Everything that he thought was ordinary and humdrum was new and fascinating to her. They spent almost an entire hour around the main gate looking at all the vendors and the people drinking. They hadn’t even scratched the surface of the maze-like cityscape.

“Is nobody going to sleep soon?” she asked, amazed.

Link shrugged. Festivals like these lasted almost until the break of dawn.

This time, he led the way down the cobblestoned paths. Some alleyways were so crowded that they were forced to push through and nudged shoulders. Zelda gripped his hand tightly, and Link started sweating, nervous at touching her and having her be so close to him.

Zelda wanted to stop to eat something. Link wanted to buy it for her but she stopped him and said, “Give me the money. I want to buy it myself.”

He handed her five rupees to buy herself some fried cucco sticks. Such a simple procedure but Zelda beamed the whole time while doing it, asking the aged vendor for a couple sticks, handing over the rupees, and then saying thank you.

“Mmm,” she moaned, biting into her food. “This is so simple, but so delicious! The food at the castle is always so extravagant. Something about this is much more…homey.”

Link assumed the second stick was for him, but he frowned when she bit into it and almost ate it whole.

“What else is here? Oh look!”

She went to another vendor, an older woman selling ice cream. Link paid ten more rupees to have her devour a cone with five scoops of creamy vanilla. He watched with a blank stare. She ate as though she had never eaten in her life. Then again, she did rant before about how her parents warned her not to eat too much. A princess, according to them, always needed a “proper” figure.

They continued walking towards the center of the city, shoulder to shoulder.

Zelda smacked her lips and licked whatever ice cream dripped on her fingers.

“Lots of farm food here. Fresh and delicious. I am glad to see that our harvests are this bountiful. I was worried that I would see poor or starving people. I do not see anyone suffering.” She sighed. “I am glad that my father is doing well for our kingdom.”

Hyrule knew very little pain and suffering, not for hundreds of years. Those who lived away from the city lived in relative peace and solitude among the rolling hills or the mountain ranges. The most that ever happened were the occasional wild animal attacks and Moblin assaults, foul creatures rumored to have been the spawn of the evil Ganon from eons ago.

Watching Zelda go from vendor to vendor with the lively crowd around them made him feel warm and comforted. Any thoughts of evil out there in the realm were far away, a distant possibility that may never happen. Link somehow felt as though he needed to savor this moment though. It would be a highlight of his young adult life. In fact, this was the first time he ever broke the rules. Funny to think that the princess of all people made him do so.

“Ohhhh,” Zelda moaned. She huffed and patted her belly. “I think I am finished. I ate too much. Everything was so delicious!”

Link eyed her belly. There was a noticeable bulge behind that uniform, however slight. Her ravenous appetite could have rivaled his fellow guardsmen.

He stared intensely as she put her hand to her mouth and recoiled. The crowd around them drowned out the sound, but he swore that she burped. She tried to say something but then again put her hand to her mouth to suppress another burp. The burps came like waves, preventing her from speaking. She patted her chest after the last one passed.

“Oof. Excuse me," she said hastily. "What should we do next?” Again, before he could answer, she interjected. “Wait. I would love to see a tavern!”

Link’s worried look made her give him a face. “Why? You do not think I can handle a tavern?”

It wasn’t so much that. He was indeed surprised that she dared to go to a tavern, but the hesitancy lay in if someone would recognize her. Some of the guardsmen hung around taverns.

Zelda seemed to read his mind. “Well, we can always slip away quietly if someone seems suspicious of us. Maybe you know an out-of-the-way place?”

Link did know several of the most popular taverns that the guards went to off the top of his head. He hadn’t been to them yet, being that he wasn’t of age at the time, but he always overheard the guards talk about such places.

Zelda thought aloud. “Maybe a place not so seedy and unruly…but also not too tame. Somewhere right in between that would have a good balance.”

Link snapped his fingers. The Happy Octorok. It had a generally friendly vibe during the day. During the night, people did get drunk as usual singing and dancing, but to his knowledge the guardsmen were not interested in it since the establishment did not host any…adult entertainment. Introducing the princess to a place like that would be…Link shivered thinking how awkward he would feel. The Happy Octorok would do just fine then.

“Got a place in mind?”

Link nodded. He motioned her to follow him.